Not feeling friendly

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:19 pm

I just want to exit myself from everyone right now...........Could be the BAH-HUMBUG I feel about the holiday. Life is hard and it does not get any better when you have to spend money on people who GIVE A FLYING F### ... just to let them know you are thinking of them. Well guess what!!! They don't give enough of a crap to even send you a card. I'm tired of making up to the families. I'm stuck in a place where my husband and my family will not be in the same room together over a 3 hour incident 2 years ago. Who the hell is stuck between the rock and the hard place.....ME!!!!!!!!! Could any of them give up their hurt feelings to come together for me? **** NO!! Let me sleep through the holiday.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:24 pm

A lot of people have a tough time at Christmas, nvv

There is a lot of pressure to be happy and idealistic.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:48 pm

i am sorry you are feeling the pressure between your husband and family nv. :-4

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:30 pm

Not just a sheeple.

You need to get away, girl.

I feel for you.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:14 pm

I can relate, just today I went to the Ex's Christmas family get-together. HE won't even go because of hard feelings in the family, so I go with the kids....first time in 2 years I've been able to be around his family and actually feel okay about being around them...it made me sad to think, this is HIS family and I'm the EX-wife and I'm the one showing up. As for spending money on them to receive a $5.00 coupon holder...ummm yeah...went in with a tin of popcorn this year for only one of the families....There are so many children that I would spend a fortune on getting everyone a gift. I take a favorite chicken casserole that I always made for them (not permitted to walk in without it) and 1 gift...and all was well...

I understand your pain and sympathize....I'm not bah-humbugging either, although due to financial stress seems that way....there is so much pressure at Christmas. I used to go out of my way for people at Christmas, remember going completely broke (no money day after Christmas) Not anymore....I give to the people very close to me and if I'm not able to, due to our close-ness they understand.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:38 pm

NVALL

BEEN THERE - now I'm very selected with my time, We would visit in SHIFTS , F--- that, no more. If I have to get thru all Hoildays Ho Ho - its on my terms now.

If they can't park their B.S., They harbor a grudge, I won't be around it. Out of 6 siblings, I allow only 2 in my life, there is no discussion about the others, I don't care what they're doing, and I don't ask. I tolerated, tried the peace maker, reached out as far as I'm going to reach. Take me out of your Rolodex, its that simple - I'm done, no more.

Life is very peaceful

Patsy

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:27 am

nvalleyvee;488717 wrote: I just want to exit myself from everyone right now...........Could be the BAH-HUMBUG I feel about the holiday. Life is hard and it does not get any better when you have to spend money on people who GIVE A FLYING F### ... just to let them know you are thinking of them. Well guess what!!! They don't give enough of a crap to even send you a card. I'm tired of making up to the families. I'm stuck in a place where my husband and my family will not be in the same room together over a 3 hour incident 2 years ago. Who the hell is stuck between the rock and the hard place.....ME!!!!!!!!! Could any of them give up their hurt feelings to come together for me? **** NO!! Let me sleep through the holiday.

Those bastards !

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:45 am

Patsy Warnick;488858 wrote: NVALL

BEEN THERE - now I'm very selected with my time, We would visit in SHIFTS , F--- that, no more. If I have to get thru all Hoildays Ho Ho - its on my terms now.

If they can't park their B.S., They harbor a grudge, I won't be around it. Out of 6 siblings, I allow only 2 in my life, there is no discussion about the others, I don't care what they're doing, and I don't ask. I tolerated, tried the peace maker, reached out as far as I'm going to reach. Take me out of your Rolodex, its that simple - I'm done, no more.

Life is very peaceful

Patsy i am the same way patsy. did all those things you said, now i am like, what ever,...get lost...........does it come with age you suppose...all of a sudden i know life wont end if i dont see certain family anymore......if fact it makes my life alot more peaceful and fun..........

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:18 am

Of course it and everything comes with age. - I think this comes from experience - and now what do you want to tolerate.??Patsy

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:51 am

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down NV, I hope things improve for you ASAP!! :-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:00 am

Families can be a real pain in the behind but you feel that you've got to try because they are family.

Well, with certain members of my husband's family I don't anymore. His younger sister is a bitter and vindictive cow who will end up a lonely old woman and she'll have no-one to blame but herself. What kind of woman tells her children to ignore their baby cousin just because she's harbouring a grudge that no-one else knows what it is!!

I decided that the people I want to let into my life are the people that I like and the people whose company I enjoy. If that means cutting out some family then it's harsh but thats the way it has to be - life is too short and too precious to waste feeling guilty about not having people in your life that drain you of everything good.

ness85 · Post by **ness85** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:34 pm

I don't mean to be rude to people ..... reality is that I am pretty shy and insecure that people get the wrong idea and perception of myself. The thing i noticed about myself is that i haven't had a stable anything in my life ... don't want to sound all down and depressed. Looking back ...... I see i haven't had a stable upbringing, friends and family life ...... though my parent's are still together ..... I have felt isolated and disconnected from my own roots, my own family and my own peers that i feel so alone at times and have forgotton the importance of relationships and friendly company, that i have turned to a cold heart.

I don't mean to be ... really ..... just happens cause maybe i am cynical, probabley that's what it is ... not to people .... probabley myself and my current state........ I internally abuse myself with my own thinking that i don't mean to be ... it's just that i am use of beating myself up with negative thinking, something that i am familar with all my life...... I am my worst critic ..... that's why i started this positive contation in my journal ..... just something to remind me ..... to remember to seek the positives in everyday. :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:32 pm

ness85;490459 wrote: I don't mean to be rude to people ..... reality is that I am pretty shy and insecure that people get the wrong idea and perception of myself. The thing i noticed about myself is that i haven't had a stable anything in my life ... don't want to sound all down and depressed. Looking back ...... I see i haven't had a stable upbringing, friends and family life ...... though my parent's are still together ..... I have felt isolated and disconnected from my own roots, my own family and my own peers that i feel so alone at times and have forgotton the importance of relationships and friendly company, that i have turned to a cold heart.

I don't mean to be ... really ..... just happens cause maybe i am cynical, probabley that's what it is ... not to people .... probabley myself and my current state........ I internally abuse myself with my own thinking that i don't mean to be ... it's just that i am use of beating myself up with negative thinking, something that i am familar with all my life...... I am my worst critic ..... that's why i started this positive contation in my journal ..... just something to remind me ..... to remember to seek the positives in everyday. :-6

Have you been rummaging through my mind ?

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 4:41 am

Nomad;490577 wrote: Have you been rummaging through my mind ?

Required equipment for rummaging in Nomad's mind;

1. waders

2. strong stomach

3. cattle prod

4. heavy duty gloves

5. book on Freudian symbolism

6. camera (nobody will believe what you find otherwise)

7. good sense of humour

8. backpack - for removal of unusual objects

9. whistle - to call for help

If you remember the above you should come back relatively intact.

Disclaimer; the author takes no responsibility for people who choose to rummage in Nomad's mind without the full list of equipment. A safety briefing will be held before entering the mind and a psychiatrist will be available for counselling on successfully undertaking this task. Please provide a list of your next of kin and a copy of your will. If you fail to return - tough!