Thanks to all of you!

[Lulu2]

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on

envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs

sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who

is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the

$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in

their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for

me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.



I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks

with no eyes or feathers.



I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water

buffalo on a hot day.



Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an

email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.



Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet

stains.



I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a

serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.



I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products

are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.



I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.



And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore

because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.



I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with

a needle infected with AIDS.



I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume

sample and rob me.



I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda

in disguise.



I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American

troops or the Salvation Army.



I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for

which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and

Uzbekistan.



I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free

replacement pair from Nike.



I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their

recipe.



Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African

spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my

butt.



Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a

better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.



And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the

parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting

underneath my car to grab my leg. Oh, and don't forget this one either!



I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!



If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes,

a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and

the fleas from 12 camels will infest you r back, causing you to grow a hairy

hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next

door neighbor's ex-mother-in- law's second husband's cousin's beautician.. .



Have a wonderful day....



A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered

that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with

their hand on the mouse.



Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

[CARLA]

Bummer I didn't know about most of these NO NO's and I will continue doing them..:wah: :wah: Well maybe most of them..:-3

[Fibonacci]

Lulu2;489217 wrote:

Have a wonderful day....



A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered

that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with

their hand on the mouse.



Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.


Are you calling me dumb?:wah:

[guppy]

lulu, that is good....you forgot to add all the sexy amazing people that want to get to know you .....i get that crud everyday......

[lady cop]

now THAT was funny! :yh_rotfl .....paranoia is never misplaced!

[Lulu2]

And I forgot to add thanks to alllll those people who want to help me add LENGTH and GIRTH to my penis!

[guppy]

Lulu2;489451 wrote: And I forgot to add thanks to alllll those people who want to help me add LENGTH and GIRTH to my penis!


:eek: :yh_tong2 :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

[Lulu2]

Hmmmmm....do I want to KNOW why one reminded you of the other? :wah: