Trust

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:04 pm

What do you do when there appears to be no trust?

When you don't trust other people that's one thing, but what happens when you don't trust your partner with other people?

Or more the point, what happens when your partner doesn't trust you?

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:09 pm

When you don't trust your partner, or your partner doesn't trust you,

you get out.

Trust is of paramount importance.

Sorry to be so brutally frank, but you asked!

:yh_peace

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:24 pm

i don't think trust, once broken, can be reclaimed. the doubt would always remain.

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:46 pm

Valerie, I agree 100%

LC, what happens when it hasn't been broken, it's just never been there?

This may all be an over reaction, I ran instead of staying and talking :-5

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:49 pm

well without asking for personal details, WHY was it never there? and how good was the relationship without it? you may have "run" but maybe that is an instinct you should "listen" to. then again, without knowing the situation, do you want to salvage it? can you still talk it over?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 12:51 pm

when involved in say a marriage of a looooooooong time & one partner strays, does that mean you give up on the last say 20 years together, is it realistically possible to only love one person & for that one person to fulfill everything?

im not saying its ok & it doesent hurt, im just saying (how realistic is it to expect 1 person, most likely in a 30 mile radius' considering the size of this planet' to fulfill every need of the other person?) sorry, i know this is likely to be contriversial, complex things always are, the key to life is balance

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:13 pm

lady cop wrote: WHY was it never there?I don't have the answer to that, I only assume it comes from past experience.

lady cop wrote: and how good was the relationship without it?At first, I went out with the girls or and this is the best one, I'm on the eqivalent to the Student Union, I spend the night on the door of fresher parties collecting money... Anyway, my phone goes, end up in a fight being accussed of this and that.

Sorted that, simple, it can't go on, I'll turn my phone off and he can think what ever he likes.

lady cop wrote: you may have "run" but maybe that is an instinct you should "listen" to.[QUOTE=lady cop]I ran because of my hurt feelings and past experience that I swore wouldn't be repeated.

[QUOTE=lady cop]then again, without knowing the situation, do you want to salvage it? can you still talk it over?I love him, trust is something that needs to be earned. Every so often doubt creeps in. I'm a fighter, not about to give up just yet.

buttercup wrote: when involved in say a marriage of a looooooooong time & one partner strays, does that mean you give up on the last say 20 years together, is it realistically possible to only love one person & for that one person to fulfill everything?

im not saying its ok & it doesent hurt, im just saying (how realistic is it to expect 1 person, most likely in a 30 mile radius' considering the size of this planet' to fulfill every need of the other person?) sorry, i know this is likely to be contriversial, complex things always are, the key to life is balanceNot in a 20 year relationship but a 2 year one, I ignored it, we spoke about it, it stopped, we carried on. It ate away at me though.

Wondering where he was, who he was with etc. At the end of 3 years, I was working a night shift, said to my work partner out of the blue "he's in bed with someone else".

Asked him to his face, he looked me in the eye and said no he wasn't. By the time he got home from work his bags were packed and he didn't argue, just left, and guess where he went?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:21 pm

where did he go? ....in my opinion trust and love go hand in hand, it is the MIStrust that is earned. and unless i misread your words, it sounds like it wasn't only him mistrusting you, it seemed to be mutual. someone got hurt once before and carried that hurt into this relationship. i hope you can resolve it so you will both be happy. and trust in each other, mistrust is a malignancy.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:40 pm

Simple Letha, no trust, :yh_shame Bye-Bye :yh_bye :yh_bye

Bloody hell i'm begining to sound like Paula

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:45 pm

hi letha, im truly sorry to hear that, this is i think a very valuable link if you want to ensure the same mistake is not repeated

http://www.stayingsane.com/compatibility.htm

best wishes for the future

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:04 pm

Oh, up there talking about two seperate relationships... Sorry.

LC he went to the house where he had spent the night in someone elses bed, he owns the house now and his girlfriend is as old as my mother (he's a year older than me), and they both get drunk and stoned together.

I would say, I prepare for the worst at times, but not that I mistrust altogether.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:14 pm

this is YOUR man that went to his "girlfriend's house?" i would have to say i hope you move on, this is not a happy thing, and you surely deserve a WHOLE relationship without this kind of stress. .......and Abbey, it's OK, we needed another Paula! :wah:

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:36 pm

It was a few years back now LC, I moved on, he's now stuck in a rut... My mates back home feel the need to give me updates :wah:

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 4:43 pm

" Abbey, it's OK, we needed another Paula! "

For what?!

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Sat May 14, 2005 3:32 am

When I was in the 7th grade a teacher asked if I trusted him.

It is generally a read flag anytime someone asks for trust.

Honest people expect others to be honest. Projection 101.

I kind of knew better but I replied, "Your a teacher I'll trust you"

Jeff Oszborns(sp?) probably some how related to the more famous Oszborns(sp?)

then directed me to put my hand in his stapler.

I called his bluff but he was not bluffing. He put a stapel into my hand!!!!

My nature is to trust people and he taught me a valueable lesson that day. Of course I kind of already knew not to trust anyone who asks me if I trust them.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Sat May 14, 2005 7:52 am

When you don`t trust, TALK. COMMUNICATE. DISCUSS. It may lead to a break up in the end but first of all, TALK - find out - express your worries - hope things can be resolved. Good luck!