Merry Christmas from Lanaia

[lanaia74]

wrote this not to be scary, but I thought I would give everyone a chuckle for Christmas

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS DARK OR AN ACCOUNT OF A VISIT FROM THE ELF OF DARKNESS

Twas the night before Christmas dark, when all throughout the house

Not a demon was stirring, not even a louse

The stockings with holes were hung by the chimney with fear

In hopes that the darkness would steer clear.

The rug rats were nestled in their beds but not yet dead

While visions of naughty things danced in their heads

And mummy in her wrap, and I in my hat with a strap

Had just settled for a long winter filled nightmarish nap.

When on the lawn arouse such a ghostly chatter

I sprang from my bed, just in time to watch the ghosts scatter

Away to the window I flew like a lightning flash

Tore open the shutter and threw out the trash.

The moon on the breast of a foul mouthed ghoul

Gave the luster of midday, making things look as if they glow

When, what to my blood shot eyes should bring fear

But a miniature black chariot and eight tiny things from the darkness from which you should steer clear.

With a little old driver looking deadly and sick

I knew in a moment it must be the elf from the darkness that is so black and thick

More rapid than vultures, his courses they came

And he moaned and groaned as he called the all by name.

Now Jeffrey! Now Albert! Now Strangler and Ripper!

On Charles! On Ted! On Son of Sam and o coarse the Night Stalker who holds such allure

To the top of the tomb stones, to the top of darkness and it's hall

Now go away, go away, go away all.

As dry leaves before the wilderness of evil flies

When they met with an obstacle, they may die

So up to the haunted house top the dark things flew

With a wagon full of woes and Sandy Claws too.

And then in a tumble I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of the thing;s black black hoofs

As I drew in my hand, and at first I heard not a sound

Down the chimney Sandy Claws came with a very noisy bound.

He was dressed in all black fur from his ugly head to foot

And his clothes were all raggedy and dirty, this poor fellow really needed a new suit

A bundle of switches he had flung on his back

And he looked of the darkness, I'm amazed I didn't have a heart attack.

His eyes how blood shot they were, he was so round and hairy

His cheeks, they really did sag, he really looks like a dark evil fairy

His droll little mouth, a smile it did lack

And the beard on his chin was the color of charcoal black.

The stump of a stick held in his teeth

I stood there saying to myself please be brief

He had like a disfigured face and he could actually drag his belly

That shook when he laughed and looked like he had visited quite a few delis.

He was fat and saggy looking like a troll or an elf

And I almost screamed when I saw him, I had to get a hold of myself

A wink of his blood shot eyes, and a twist, all the way around went his head

Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word as around the Christmas tree he lurk

Sitting his switches all around, then with a yelp and a jerk

And laying his long nailed finger aside his disfigured nose

And giving a horrid look, he seems to have vanished. Where did he go?

He ran to his black chariot, and growled to his team to go

And away they flew very very slow

But I heard him growl as he disappeared from my eye

Happy Christmas to all and on this nigh you won't die.