here today, gone....today?

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:54 am

I've noticed a strange phenomenon here in the garden! *lowers voice to a whisper* People seem to post just one thing, usually in the 'I need advice' forums, then disappear!

Do we have a monster in the garden who eats hapless victims after they make their first post?

Why ask for advice, if you're not going to come back and get it? :-3

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:22 am

Maybe its not the answer they wanted!!!

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:39 am

I think they should at least tell us the outcome of the problem! Sheesh! :yh_silent

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:53 am

I know! Especially when people have gone to the trouble of trying to help. When you ask for advice you should be prepared to hear something you maybe don't want to.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 7:04 am

And who knows? Maybe there is someone who can actually help! But if they dont come back, we'll never know.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:24 am

I think you are right. Peple in the garden are very nice. Whever someone ask for advice they come forward and try to help with all sincerity. It is but natural that they will be interested to know about the outcome. It is the least people seeking advice can do to take forum members in confidence about the result.

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:32 am

Raven wrote: I've noticed a strange phenomenon here in the garden! *lowers voice to a whisper* People seem to post just one thing, usually in the 'I need advice' forums, then disappear!

Do we have a monster in the garden who eats hapless victims after they make their first post?

Why ask for advice, if you're not going to come back and get it? :-3

As a generalization, most of these one-post wonders are needy. Needy people aren't usually known for giving.

One wonders if "needy" people create their own troubles - and sentence themselves to lives of visiting different forums asking for advice.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:36 am

Tombstone wrote: As a generalization, most of these one-post wonders are needy. Needy people aren't usually known for giving.

One wonders if "needy" people create their own troubles - and sentence themselves to lives of visiting different forums asking for advice.

Yes, that is a possibility.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:47 am

Suresh Gupta wrote: I think you are right. Peple in the garden are very nice. Whever someone ask for advice they come forward and try to help with all sincerity. It is but natural that they will be interested to know about the outcome. It is the least people seeking advice can do to take forum members in confidence about the result.
There is much compassion to be found here. And alot of common sense. The different perspectives are refreshing and open. I just cant understand the not coming back to see what answers there may be in store? Why sign up to a forum, skip the intro, dive right into an advice forum, then disappear after the first post? I just dont get it.

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:31 am

Raven, what is the name? I am not sure who it is you are referring too? Has this happened more than one time? My eyes spend a lot of time here, so i may remember the name? :yh_glasse

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:37 pm

Tombstone wrote: As a generalization, most of these one-post wonders are needy. Needy people aren't usually known for giving.

One wonders if "needy" people create their own troubles - and sentence themselves to lives of visiting different forums asking for advice.Going with this thought, I know of a weird one (from another site) who doesn't ask for advice and will not say what the problem is, although everyone has asked. He goes out and gets drunk then logs in and is abusive to everyone... In one subsequent apology they say they are after punishment :-5

So I think I prefere the one post wonders who ask then go, far better than the attention seekers out there, like that one I just mentioned.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:42 pm

It is a puzzle why people do this, so here's a thought: What can we do to get new members more interested in the whole Garden and stick around after we try to help them with whatever it was that brought them in the first place? When someone new comes along asking for help or advice, I usually make a point to tell them, Hey, this is a great place, poke around a bit while you're waiting for your replies. (Or something to that effect.)

lime-sterman · Post by **lime-sterman** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:26 pm

Originally Posted by Raven

I've noticed a strange phenomenon here in the garden! *lowers voice to a whisper* People seem to post just one thing, usually in the 'I need advice' forums, then disappear!

Do we have a monster in the garden who eats hapless victims after they make their first post?

Why ask for advice, if you're not going to come back and get it?

I think the only thing that's in the forefront of their mind is the dilemma they have themselve's in! and once they see a post that offer's some way out of their dilemma, there gone!...........they have what they wanted! it's quicker and easier just to put your problem on a site such as this and let everyone else mull it over, or if the answer is not forthcoming right away there off to another forum to get the answer! hence maybe the one off posting!

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:36 pm

BabyRider wrote: When someone new comes along asking for help or advice, I usually make a point to tell them, Hey, this is a great place, poke around a bit while you're waiting for your replies. (Or something to that effect.)

I'm with you BR. Especially some of the more interesting ones. I just don't understand it. Once I find a home, I like to stick with it. The only forum I've ever quit went totally weird and then the servers broke, permanently apparently.

The longer you stay at a single forum, the easier it is to identify and understand the individual members. It's like being part of a family!:D

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:55 pm

I have a forum that I would love to leave but, I'm trapped, not allowed to delete myself, not allowed to not log in daily.... I'm being held prisoner :-5

Sorry, you don't realise how good that just felt to type *sigh*

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:57 pm

letha wrote: I have a forum that I would love to leave but, I'm trapped, not allowed to delete myself, not allowed to not log in daily.... I'm being held prisoner :-5

Sorry, you don't realise how good that just felt to type *sigh* How can they have that kind of control over you??

sounds like false imprisonment to me!

persephone · Post by **persephone** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:20 pm

lady cop wrote: How can they have that kind of control over you??

sounds like false imprisonment to me! :wah: Sorry, it's my b/fs site, most definetly false imprisonment though... It's been a tough time on there recently... I just really needed to say somewhere that I was being held prisoner, if I say it to him, I'd be being ungrateful and causing more headache.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 3:47 pm

My thought is if the "needy" fall from being the center of attention they just drop out of site. So not sure if this is truth or not but seems a possibility. Surf sites post issues looking for attention and if they become the center of the forum then they stay, if they can't stir folks up and get them involved in their pity party they leave? I sound like a cold hearted *itch, but pity parties don't float my boat.

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:08 pm

It's not just on the forums. People do that all the time...only visit or call when they want something. The more often they do it the less likely I am to say anything helpful...just like the long threads where the onethreadposter keeps saying the same thing over and over for days or weeks.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:29 am

minks wrote: I sound like a cold hearted *itch, but pity parties don't float my boat.

lol! Brrrrr! But I agree, it seems like a quite a few N()()bs have some emotional baggage that they just want to rant on about. In the words of our British friends, "I can't be arsed with it." :wah:

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:31 am

I lurk alot and read all the theads, just sometimes don't really post my opinion on matters cause well some folks just scare the bejeevies out of me.

I like this forum, it has alot of people from different backgrounds and places; it's interesting!

The lurker

Sheryl

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:21 am

Sheryl wrote: I lurk alot and read all the theads, just sometimes don't really post my opinion on matters cause well some folks just scare the bejeevies out of me.

I like this forum, it has alot of people from different backgrounds and places; it's interesting!

The lurker

Sheryl

And we aint scarey either unless bad spelling scares you then I am darn frightful

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:22 am

Jives wrote: lol! Brrrrr! But I agree, it seems like a quite a few N()()bs have some emotional baggage that they just want to rant on about. In the words of our British friends, "I can't be arsed with it." :wah:

Hey Jives :yh_tong2

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:27 am

Sheryl wrote: I lurk alot and read all the theads, just sometimes don't really post my opinion on matters cause well some folks just scare the bejeevies out of me.

Not a thing wrong with that, Sheryl! But scared? It's not like we can jump through the screen and pounce on you! lol! Or are you a person who wears their "heart on their sleeve" so to speak?

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 11:23 am

Jives wrote: Not a thing wrong with that, Sheryl! But scared? It's not like we can jump through the screen and pounce on you! lol! Or are you a person who wears their "heart on their sleeve" so to speak?
That would be me. I'm the walking 'poster kid' for words hurt! :wah:

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 12:56 pm

Jives wrote: Not a thing wrong with that, Sheryl! But scared? It's not like we can jump through the screen and pounce on you! lol! Or are you a person who wears their "heart on their sleeve" so to speak?

NO, no feelings on sleeve. I have a stupid anxiety about being judged by my peers. I guess just don't want people wondering what crack pipe I've been smoking; if something I say on here is totally out there.

Yea Yea I know I'm weird,