REDNECK Qualities....

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Lulu2
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Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 3:34 pm

REDNECK Qualities....

Post by Lulu2 »

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vise on the work bench .

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean ?

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
RedGlitter
Posts: 15777
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:51 am

REDNECK Qualities....

Post by RedGlitter »

Lulu2 wrote: 12. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.






Hehe. Out here a hot date consists of a six pack and a bug zapper. :thinking:
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rachelg
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 5:31 pm

REDNECK Qualities....

Post by rachelg »

The centerpiece on your dining table has been created by the local taxidermist:)
K.Snyder
Posts: 10253
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:05 pm

REDNECK Qualities....

Post by K.Snyder »

Lulu2 wrote:

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.




:yh_wait :yh_eyebro

Actually, I know alot of drivers from around southwestern Ohio, but I don't know them all, so I'll let this one pass....for now. :yh_silent
K.Snyder
Posts: 10253
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:05 pm

REDNECK Qualities....

Post by K.Snyder »

Pinky wrote: You come back from the dump with more than you took

Um...my dad does this:-3

He's a bugger for picking stuff up and fixing it. When I first moved out of my parent's place I didn't have much money, so I was pretty grateful for anything. My dad brought me an old vax...he found it at the tip and fixed it. It ran for a couple of years though!

I'm not a total skank, honest!:D


When I read that one, I thought she meant someone was having a quick nibble on the potty. :wah:
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