Hammy's house of ill repute.....

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:29 am

Oh my FG is getting it's very own chicken ranch huh! :-2

ermm I'll apply for the position of janitor. :wah:

you never know what I could find in the rooms and sell to the tabloids.

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:32 am

Well Hamster, it is well established what humble bat I am, but I will say that your clients will like what I have tucked away under my tragus..I have to tell you there are days when it is difficult for me to get off the ground with such a load..:sneaky:

have you seen the size of his wing membranes??

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:39 am

Before I make my application, is this establishment your arse house? Or is this my very poor attempt at French translation?

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:40 am

Hamster wrote: Bold claims indeed...do you have any evidence to back this up? Such as reports from previously satisfied clients?

I'm sorry but I never flit and tell squeaky..:rolleyes:

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:40 am

"Maison Derriere" -- that has a nice ring to it

I'd like to work at the front desk and welcome all incoming guests with a big smile and a warm hello.

And Hammie

As I've stated before

My oral skills are superb

:guitarist

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:44 am

Wouldnt this one be called the Hamster Ranch?

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:45 am

Hamster wrote: Sheryl I need to know a few more details please..like why do you think you would be particularly suited to being janitor??

Do you have a thing for erm....brooms???

And I'll need references...

Well let's just I'd be alot better at cleaning thand tending to any of the other needs being met at your business.

No it's actually toilet brushes I have an fondess for. Those bristley brushes just send shivers up and down my spine.

I'll get back to you on references.

:wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:46 am

My application: remember you cant spell gigalo without "Log".

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:24 am

I'm blonde...and um, I'm very flexible! :yh_bigsmi

*sunny lifts leg up to her head and falls off the chair*

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:24 am

Hamster wrote: Applicant decision: HIRED

Please bring your references to my office for personal inspection...:sneaky:

Now before inspection you must remember that there are all sizes and shapes of logs.:rolleyes:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:27 am

Twigs can be called logs right? I said right? Oh wait this is cyber prostitution ( in my deepest voice) That aint no log, now this is a LOG.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:30 am

Hamster wrote: It is a highly professional establishment and you'll have to wipe your feet before entering!

OK, thats more that I usually get to go on. I shall apply.

Firstly, before we discuss my salary, let me say that I love you and I always have, even when I actually didn't know you. Second I am sorry called you hampster, and that I threatened you with hitmen. Ok, now thats out of the way.

My credentials. I have an honours degree in Chemistry, I can drive, I am legally permitted to work in the U.K., and I speak English Fluently and I have converational German. I have worked in Science research, as an Editor, and as a teacher for a while. I am also a freelance and highly reputable internet agony uncle, and all outstanding legal matters pertaining to my practive are being dealt with by professionals. I am flexible in my hours, and I get on with people. My hobbies are playing music and reading history. I support Aston Villa football club.

I believe that I would make an outstanding candiate for working in all areas of your disreputable house of arse, and I hope that you can consider me.

Regards

Galbally

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:32 am

Hamster wrote: Applicant decision : HIRED

*jumps up and down for joy*

Can I be *extra welcoming* to the VIP guests?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:37 am

"Disreputable House of Arse"

Is that *great* or what? :guitarist

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:39 am

I think You should also consider Uncle Kram, I mean with a name like Uncle Kram He must have talent eh?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:41 am

YZGI wrote: I think You should also consider Uncle Kram, I mean with a name like Uncle Kram He must have talent eh?

You mean like the expression

"I'LL KRAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:43 am

Say Hammy have I ever shown you my photo collection?

Why look it's you and Mr. &*^&(, and here is one of you and Mr. %^^#@, oh here is my fav, look how you were able to **&^#$ on Mr *&^$^'s *&^% with that &^%# in your *&^$#.

By the way have you had a chance to review my application?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:43 am

Hamster wrote: I will of course consider all applicants on an individual basis..Any attempt to buy favours for a friend as blantant as this will win you a promotion...:sneaky:

I just want to make sure you are " Fully Staffed".

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:48 am

I'd also like to apply for a position (any position I don't mind) in your house of arse (as G so eloquently puts it).

My qualifications are as follows -

I seen lots of men naked so I'm not scared or shocked by them (I have to say that most of them were dead, I'm not a rampant slapper)

Actually, I have rampant slapper tendancies but they have been suppressed for a long time and are just bursting to get out.

I have an active imagination which may come in useful with the, shall we say tactfully, more ugly of clients.

I'm willing to work shifts, an will relocate for the right package (double entendre intended!!)

I look forward to hearing from you.:sneaky:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:52 am

Imladris wrote: I'd also like to apply for a position (any position I don't mind) in your house of arse (as G so eloquently puts it).

My qualifications are as follows -

I seen lots of men naked so I'm not scared or shocked by them (I have to say that most of them were dead, I'm not a rampant slapper)

Actually, I have rampant slapper tendancies but they have been suppressed for a long time and are just bursting to get out.

I have an active imagination which may come in useful with the, shall we say tactfully, more ugly of clients.

I'm willing to work shifts, an will relocate for the right package (double entendre intended!!)

I look forward to hearing from you.:sneaky:

Wait a second Im "DO you see naked dead people"?

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:54 am

YZGI wrote: Wait a second Im "DO you see naked dead people"?

Oh yes, hubby and I owned a funeral directing business so I'm good with stiffs:sneaky:

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:55 am

will the road up to the establishment be paved with assphalt?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:58 am

Imladris wrote: Oh yes, hubby and I owned a funeral directing business so I'm good with stiffs:sneaky:

Whew for a second there I thought you went around to funerals and could see through dead peoples clothes.:yh_hypno

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:59 am

Hamster wrote: I am impressed by your eloquence..I have a few clients who go for that sort of thing! And a few who go for the rampant slapper type too..so you should be expected to work overtime. How do you feel about that?

Can I count on you to pitch in and manage all my urgent packages???

Yes, but short notice work costs extra, do I have to bring my own handcuffs?

Yes I have a set of them too:sneaky: :sneaky:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:00 pm

YZGI wrote: Whew for a second there I thought you went around to funerals and could see through dead peoples clothes.:yh_hypno

No, I don't have that skill but may I refer you to my other posts regarding the skills I do have.

(Just in case you're ever visiting the house of arse)

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:01 pm

I'd just like to work there so I can watch :-3

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:06 pm

Will we have a union to protect our rights?

Why does this place look like a hamster cage?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:09 pm

zinkyusa wrote: Will we have a union to protect our rights?

Hey Zinkmeister

I believe there will be unions in the place CONSTANTLY

:guitarist