poor but happy or rich and not ?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:10 pm

guys this is going to sound really bazar but for the first time in my life i'm happy , my daughter just got the ok from a hospital in america she can come over to england to live a dream come true for me , my partner and the love of my for 10 years has started to get well again after 4 life saving ops after a hospital blunder nearly killed her , the ugly spectre of death has receded from my smashed life after three of my closest family were taken prematurley to there graves , the horrible nuclear winter of greif has turned into the beautiful sunshine of a spring day , the twin vulters of despair and pain have been replaced by bluebirds of hope building a nest , the blackened ashes of a destroyed life are being changed by the first green shoots of a new world impatient to come into being in short i'm happy what horror awaits in the wings that could destroy this potential heaven on earth you might ask youselves , and the answer is money .. no not the lack of it quite the opposit we are due to recieve a large sum of money in compensation for my partners injuries , i have rich friends and to be honest they are the most unhappy group of people i know .the wives go on shopping sprees the husbands go on golf trips both sets play away if you know what i mean . my partner wants us to buy a place in cyprus and for me to give up work its not for me i cant think of any thing worse to sit around in the sun bored out of my swede yuk not for me .a have the greatest friends any one could have most of my good ones i,ve known for over 30 years they even remember me when i had a waist and hair for cryin out loud , i dont want to change my life i'm sick with worry for my partner does ,want big house new car new country new friends

what do you think am i worrying without good reason or is it all about to go belly up on me ... please guys sinse my first daughter died money has never been my god happiness is all that i've yearned for i have that now and dont want to lose it thoughts please constructive only thanks

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:14 pm

Having money does not make you unhappy - letting it rule your life does.

I agree with you, if you're happy as you are then don't change your life - just use the money for the little extras to make things easier.

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:33 pm

Sounds like you've got your head on straight for sure

Money may make the big things easier, but it's the small things that matter most in life.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:41 pm

Jimbo

It sounds like you've got your priorities straight -- no surprise there!

I am similar to you: I just said to my hubby last night, "Look around at all we have together! A nice home, great families, a beautiful cat and a wonderful dog, our health, friends we cherish . . . we are very lucky, aren't we?"

There will always be people with bigger houses and more possessions and lots of money, but are they truly content with there lives?

With my Jewish friends, I always say that I've no interest in "keeping up with the Jonesteins" :p

Jimbo, you are *indeed* a rich man. I'm really happy for you :-6

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:41 pm

Give me the money. I'll see how it fits and let you know.:wah:

Seriously though, Life is about peaks and valley's. You are riding a peak at the present and may your peak last forever.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:43 pm

YZGI wrote: Seriously though, Life is about peaks and valley's. You are riding a peak at the present and may your peak last forever.

True words, YZGI.

I always refer to it as 'riding the wave' before it crashes. You MUST enjoy the highs while you have them. Celebrate them! :guitarist

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:05 pm

thanks guys i must admit i have just re read that and i do realise i do seem to sound like a right ***** but one of our friends has just come into a bit of money and she has changed from a real nice down to earth person to a right stuck up tart she has just spent £6000 on a hot tub jacuzzi thing about $10 000 and she has got herself this really purvey weird fella who keeps inviting us

she just casually drops into the conversation that she went to Paris for the weekend shame you don't have money you could of come

she is more than welcome to it i hate Paris all that foreign food garlic and french people no offence to any frog chompers out there

and she says to sue would you like to come shopping with me i have to buy this frock or something its only £300 last year for that money she would of clothed the whole family and had a holiday and still had change

but the thing is she is not nice any more I'd hate that to happen to us

when sue was ill i had to look after her for 2 years and this friend used to come round and see how sue was , until she came into money and to be honest it stinks please please dont let it happen to us :-3

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:09 pm

jimbo wrote: please please dont let it happen to us :-3

Jimbo

I'm quite certain it'll never happen to you :-4

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:19 pm

jimbo wrote:

she is more than welcome to it i hate Paris all that foreign food garlic and french people no offence to any frog chompers out there

Sorry Jimbo but........

That really tickled me.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:09 pm

Jimbo, can i make a suggestion here?

before you get the money, consult a financial adviser. plan for your future. you might can put the money in cds and live off of the interest. i dont know what kind of sum you are talking about.

you typically make friends with people in your same financial level. (water seeks its own level) if you start buying and rise above your friends capacity, if they are true friends, they will be happy for you but reality is, you will probably drift away from eachother.

remember-bigger house-bigger payment, bigger power bill, higher taxes, costlier upkeep over time. everything has a price

and be prepared to say no. friends will put pressure on you to borrow. you will be surprised how many friends you will have all of a sudden. dont do anything rash.

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:09 pm

Venice smells

surely it's possible to be rich and happy??? Isn't it?? Don't destroy my dreams guys:-2

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:38 pm

I'll more than likely get my head bitten off for saying this but why can you not be rich and happy?

Reading Jimbo's post it seems these friends that have come into sudden wealth are typical of folk that have come by wealth the easy way.

You dont see many jetsetter millionaire unhappy because they have readies at their disposal do you?

I can't blame your other half for wanting to live the dream, most of us do.

It seems you and Sue has a good solid relationship, dont be afraid of change Jimbo.:-6

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:23 am

thanks guys

i'm worried about change i'm happy why change?

i'm gona get a nicer but still second hand car maybe a newer van for work

which i'm most definitely still gona do

i want us to stay friends with all the people we are friends with now

ok maybe a holiday in the states that's it though, non of this mamby pamby

all inclusive waiter ed on beach lying down in the sun crap in the maldives i want a proper

mans holiday ,beer nice people that talk English good food

oh and the risk of Lyme disease wouldn't go amiss just to keep you on your

toes

oh and i'll still be a jeans and t shirt man my mate the one that own es

helicopters and a yacht spends £ 1000 on one shirt and one pair of trousers

they look like pj's honestly he said i have loads of clothes if you want them

i've only worn them once , i looked at him and i thought no way buddy i

wouldn't wear them to work let alone the pub but thanks any way

i think my partner will be ok too she is a strong very nice person hell of a

temper but like Lyme disease she keeps me on my toes

she has seen what a Muppet her friend has turned into that alone could be

the savior of us , turning her back on all her real Friend's for a bunch

of coke fuelled morons ,for when the coke and money run out so will they

thankfully though I've had my battles with drink i have never been into drugs

not even hard drugs like coke or Viagra

i like who we are i really do sue is kind and nice and really popular and think i

am also if we go to our local pub every one comes up to us asks how we are

i like that , i teach a bit of martial arts to a few of the young lads

its very important for me to be able to have a laugh and to be able to

exactly what i want I'd hate it if sue made new friends and i was expected to

act a certain way for i would hate it and i'm pretty sure I'd not like them at

all, i used to years ago be money money then my daughter died and my ex

took my other daughter to the states (for 10 years i never heard from her )

suddenly the luxury flat the gleaming sports care and my bulging bank

balance (then not now )did not comfort me at all nor did my well to do so

called friends ,it was the ordinary guy with an ordinary family and his

ordinary life, yup it was the people who had nothing when you looked at it

on paper who gave the most, kindness, honesty time,care and most of all

hope, it was losers and no hopers who were really life's winners , maybe not

loads of money like i had and my so called friends had but they had a family a

wife a life and they were happy all of which i had had within my grasp but

now it was taken from me boy could i see how important it was now

it was the ordinary people who rang if they did not see me for a few days

and it was them that said do you want to come round for dinner , do you

need to talk etc

i learned to value these people and i still do today

so guess my bottom line is if you have a family a nice life and your happy

don't Cash them all in for a pot of fools gold , your the richest people on

earth ,why would any one want anything more i know i don't

sorry for rambling on :-3

Dreamer · Post by **Dreamer** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:11 am

Youv'e seen what money can do to people, so i think you will be able to handle it. You have associated wealth with unhappiness and that isn't always the way it goes, i think it depends on the type of person you were before. Being poor can't always be a happy thing, most poor people are desperately unhappy. Do something that you can look back on, maybe write yourself a letter explaining your fears, then you can always refer back to it if you feel like your changing.

Don't completely change your life that will make you unhappy and don't lose touch with your good friends, they will be the one's that will bring you back down to earth or let you know if your changing.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 3:20 am

latest thing annoying me about Sue's now rich but used to be poor but nice friend that's annoying me

Sue's friend texts sue , sue says sorry I've a really bad migraine I'll call back when i feel a bit better

next day sue calls back hello what did you call for

Sue's pal oh i just rang to let you know Ive had my nails done at such a place and it cost x amount of £££'s

there was no i hope your better or anything i can do talk

but what really *******'ks me off is that sue is a trained beautician sort of thingy and said friend before she had money used to plead oh please do my nails and sue used to do them for nothing

why i oughta .....

sorry guys it just takes the jam outa my donut these sort of people

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 8:06 am

abbey wrote: I'll more than likely get my head bitten off for saying this but why can you not be rich and happy?

Reading Jimbo's post it seems these friends that have come into sudden wealth are typical of folk that have come by wealth the easy way.

You dont see many jetsetter millionaire unhappy because they have readies at their disposal do you?

I can't blame your other half for wanting to live the dream, most of us do.

It seems you and Sue has a good solid relationship, dont be afraid of change Jimbo.:-6

Hi Abbey,

Only just looked at this thread (having to pre-book the computer!), i think that what everyone around me seems to forget that this money has come at a very big price. All my family keep having little debates amongst themselves to discuss what i'll get and what they feel is the right value! At the end of the day, I nearly died twice through this incompetent Dr have had to have four corrective surgerys, have been left infertile and have been left with very serious health problems, and all this just afetr my 30th!

The money will be nice, but at the end of the day i'd much rather be able to have another child and be able to sleep the night through without waking in pain and being free fom the awful nightmares.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:34 am

SuzyB wrote:

Hi Abbey,

Only just looked at this thread (having to pre-book the computer!), i think that what everyone around me seems to forget that this money has come at a very big price. All my family keep having little debates amongst themselves to discuss what i'll get and what they feel is the right value! At the end of the day, I nearly died twice through this incompetent Dr have had to have four corrective surgerys, have been left infertile and have been left with very serious health problems, and all this just afetr my 30th!

The money will be nice, but at the end of the day i'd much rather be able to have another child and be able to sleep the night through without waking in pain and being free fom the awful nightmares.Then i truly wish all your dreams are fulfilled. :-4

Post by **spot** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:49 am

I've seen in-laws hit a fortune and go up-market in house, cars, chauffeur and hired staff, the private jet, it's not a pretty sight. Putting it out of reach for an early and well-funded retirement sounds more likely to leave you with a net benefit than a major uprooting of what the two of you have already. Have some to hand for flippant moments, why not, but moving and giving up what you've built socially is surely a risky venture.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:07 am

CHER "Then i truly wish all your dreams are fulfilled. "

Absolutely!

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:27 am

jimbo wrote: guys this is going to sound really bazar but for the first time in my life i'm happy , my daughter just got the ok from a hospital in america she can come over to england to live a dream come true for me , my partner and the love of my for 10 years has started to get well again after 4 life saving ops after a hospital blunder nearly killed her , the ugly spectre of death has receded from my smashed life after three of my closest family were taken prematurley to there graves , the horrible nuclear winter of greif has turned into the beautiful sunshine of a spring day , the twin vulters of despair and pain have been replaced by bluebirds of hope building a nest , the blackened ashes of a destroyed life are being changed by the first green shoots of a new world impatient to come into being in short i'm happy what horror awaits in the wings that could destroy this potential heaven on earth you might ask youselves , and the answer is money .. no not the lack of it quite the opposit we are due to recieve a large sum of money in compensation for my partners injuries , i have rich friends and to be honest they are the most unhappy group of people i know .the wives go on shopping sprees the husbands go on golf trips both sets play away if you know what i mean . my partner wants us to buy a place in cyprus and for me to give up work its not for me i cant think of any thing worse to sit around in the sun bored out of my swede yuk not for me .a have the greatest friends any one could have most of my good ones i,ve known for over 30 years they even remember me when i had a waist and hair for cryin out loud , i dont want to change my life i'm sick with worry for my partner does ,want big house new car new country new friends

what do you think am i worrying without good reason or is it all about to go belly up on me ... please guys sinse my first daughter died money has never been my god happiness is all that i've yearned for i have that now and dont want to lose it thoughts please constructive only thanks

Hi Jimbo

I don't know for sure, but I think I would go with my heart, what makes me happy. A good question is "Can money buy me what is going to make me happy", or do I need to do what makes me happy. Sometimes the road that leads to happiness is not always happy on the way to happy. Happy when you get there is good, very good

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:18 pm

SuzyB wrote:

Hi Abbey,

Only just looked at this thread (having to pre-book the computer!), i think that what everyone around me seems to forget that this money has come at a very big price. All my family keep having little debates amongst themselves to discuss what i'll get and what they feel is the right value! At the end of the day, I nearly died twice through this incompetent Dr have had to have four corrective surgerys, have been left infertile and have been left with very serious health problems, and all this just afetr my 30th!

The money will be nice, but at the end of the day i'd much rather be able to have another child and be able to sleep the night through without waking in pain and being free fom the awful nightmares.

That really is crappy and you deserve everything you get - you also deserve the choice of what to do with it!