we saw more of eachother when we lived apart than we do now. is this normal? i don't remember it being like this with the last woman i shacked up with. but all we did was frump like bunnies. absolutely NO substance.
we bickered before, but it was over silly things and we both knew it was silly. it made the "arguements" fun. and it gave us a reason to have make-up sex. :sneaky:
but recently things have become strained. and i don't know why. or maybe i know, i just don't know that i know. ya' know?
we deffinately had naked time more often when living alone. i'm not sure why that is.(man that's some p!ss-poor grammar)
somehow our little disagreements have gone from, "honey, where's my sock?"
to
"Keep the SWAT team away from the door! I swear to Christ I'll shoot her and the F-ing cat! and where the HELL's my sock?"why? is this normal? am i shooting par for the course? it sure doesn't feel like it.
i know all relationships have rough spots, but we've been living together for little more than a month and it's already getting strained.
the big thing that sent me to the couch this past monday was child discipline.
the kids listen to me. they don't fart around when i tell them to pick up or sit down or what ever. When she tells them those things they keep running around. and she has to yell and threaten spankings to get them in line.
Now the kids weren't always like this. they used to listen. but gramma spoiled them. After her and her Ex split up she moved home with her folks. Mom would say "no" and Alyssa(4) figured out real quick that gramma would say "yes." and Austin(2) picked it up right after Alyssa.
She just gets frustrated when i get them to do stuff and that i can keep them behaved at home. and out in public too. but at family get togethers with Uncles&Aunts and cousins they are holy terrors. but of course they are, they're 2 and 4. they are gonna go a little berserk. and i'm good with that.
and for the record, i don't spank. Mom does that. if needed.
she gets so mad when the kids listen to me and not to her. i rarely have to say anything more than twice. and if i stand up, they are all in order.
I thinks it's because I'm so damn big. i mean, my shoe is bigger than BOTH their heads.
but something else has happened. between "us." i kind of feel like i have gone from fiance to roommate. and of course if feel like that, we aren't sleeping in the same bed at the moment.
she did come out wednesday and curl up on the hide-a-bed with me. that was nice.
I know she has a lot going on with her classes. she's got a truly messed up schedule this semester. M,W,F she has morning class. Tu and Th she interns at teh hospital from 2pm to 11pm. so she's running on hardly any sleep.
i'm a lazy bum currently. it's been raining for the last 5 days so i can't get in the fields. so i bum around home.
i don't do laundry right, but it gets done. I don't wash the dishes correctly, but i do wash them. For crying out loud, i put pants on when i vacuum.
i take the kids to daycare so she doesn't have to get up an hour earlier to get them ready.
i'm trying to take some of the strain off her busy schedule. and that just seems to honk her off. WHY?!?? i'm helping, aren't I? Hell, today i picked the kids up from daycare and took them to the Zoo and we went and saw CARS at the dollar theater. it was a blast. we got home and they went right to bed. no whining to stay up or to have a cookie or anything.
she has a big project due so i thought i'd give her some "alone" time. so now she feels like she is ignoring her kids. she's a great Mom. if she weren't, she wouldn't be trying to finish her degree. she wouldn't feel bad that she doesn't get to spend time with them.
"You have $hit to do, i'm here to help. Hello?" Trust me, if i didn't want to do this, i wouldn't.
she has been busting her ass and "going it alone" for so long, i don't think she knows how to let someone help her.
but maybe i am doing it wrong. i don't know.
and i'm not tooting my own horn about all the stuff i do either. so get that out of your head right now.
God, i hate that fricking pull-out. my feet hang off the end(the edge hits me at teh ankles) the bar hits me right across the ass. i miss my bed dammit.
i honestly think she has a more conservative view of the Man/Woman dynamic than i do. and i'm pretty old fashioned.
i know she's stressed. i know she's freaking out about the wedding. even tho she doesn't want it until 2008 for cripes sake. i want it Sept next year.
i already have me groom's men, the ring barer, and ushers.
I have 2 best men. is that weird? i don't think so.
I have my two best friends as the best men, Joe and Ben. the others are Steve(budda-boy), Cody, and my Dad
my ushers are my sister's hubby and her brother Chuck. My nephew Noah is the ring barer. i am all kinds of revved up for this. can you tell??
ok i'll stop ranting for now.
