golf dont call me a fool

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:21 am

with all the ryder cup golf going on at the moment , it reminded me of last summer , when sue( my partner ) we went to our local pitch and putt par 27 9 hole golf course its got the usual lakes , bunkers etc its not a bad afternoon out IF you like golf , sue is my best friend as well as being my gf ans we have been together 10 years on and off ( she starts on and i go off )

but she is really really competitive and she makes john McEnroe look like a good loser , 1st tee i take my shot not bad near the green sue takes her shot whoosh she misses the ball i try not to even smile if i do she is such a bad loser she will get the hump the day will be ruined , 3 more air shots then she hits the ball 10 feet she is not happy i walk on a bit facing the other way out of the corner of my eye i see her pick the ball up and throw it 35 feet to the edge of the green i pretend i did not see it , i take my shot next to the pin she takes her shot 10 feet past the pin , i sink my put , she takes her shot 10 feet past the pin the other way , she is bright red in temper i can feel a horrible belly laugh deep in my stomach i manage to control it for if i laugh now she will storm off , she takes another shot 5 feet past the other way this goes on for several shots , she is cursing under her breath , i look away if i dont laugh soon i,m gona bust a gut out of the corner of my eye i see her take a shot its going way to fast its gona go miles but no she stops it with her foot and kicks it in , the urge to laugh now is almost too much to stand yet some how i dont i write 4 on my score card i dont even ask for hers she says that was a 5 , i know it was closer to 55 i say nothing i write it down i dont look at her for if i do i will laugh and the temper she is in that 7 iron would make a nasty imprint on my head ,

2nd hole , i try and do a bad shot to save the peace i cant believe it its gone right on the green normally a shot like that i'd be jumping up and down i say nothing not a trace of emotion on my face she goes to take her shot woosh ,air shot, woosh,air shot ,woosh , air shot but on the way back from taking her shot she connects with the ball it goes flying onto another fairway she storms over to get i hear the faint wack of some one hitting the ball and sweetly at that followed by a loud FORE get out of the way this golf ball just misses her she is going mad she comes back going mad what sort of man are you letting that guy call your girlfriend a fool throws down her clubs and storms off i stand there confused then i get it he said FORE to get her to move she thinks he has called her a fool , i burst into fits of laughter so bad i cant even stand up it takes me a good 20 minutes to get back to the car where she is sat on the bonnet (hood) coz the keys where in her golf bag and i,m still crying with laughter i explain it to her and she finally sees the funny side but we dont go playing golf no more

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:31 am

Oh Jimbo

You have become the FG Great Storyteller

That was a super one

And go give Suzy a hug and a kiss right now!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:36 am

aw shucks

sue has to step brothers that live in boston whats the weather like over there

i also have a daughter that lives in madison ct near new haven

sue and i may be over soon

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:37 am

jimbo wrote: aw shucks

sue has to step brothers that live in boston whats the weather like over there

i also have a daughter that lives in madison ct near new haven

sue and i may be over soon

It's cool and a little rainy today

But the coming week it will be sunny and 75 degrees F *every single day* :-6

I would LOVE to meet you and Suzy :guitarist

But remember

Us girls stick together :-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:11 am

Us girls stick together :-4 :-2 oooooo kaaaay

it would be nice cher but i think maybe i'm not exactly every ones cup of tea

sue gets on with every one but i guess i'm an acquired taste you either love

me or hate me , i wont put on aires and graces for any one and i will say exactly

what i've got to say , my friends range from multi millionaires who own

helicopters and yachts to well people who dont have a pot to **** in

i'm friends with a couple of actors and few world champion martial artist and

i treat them all the same just coz there rich and famous does not mean that

i like them any more than my mates that have nothing for at the end of the

day we all go out of this world with nothing and the only thing that matters

is how good you are to people while your here

yup i know what your thinking poor suzy jims hard work forget about the meet up :wah: buts thats me

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:13 am

jimbo wrote: i know what your thinking poor suzy jims hard work forget about the meet up :wah: buts thats me

Jimbo

I'm the same way

Everyone gets treated the same

with love, kindness and respect

Unless proven otherwise! :guitarist

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:25 am

yup thats cool but are you as bad as this

i guy that is a right a hole come up trying to talk to me in my local pub and i just said look i dont like you i,ve never liked you and chances are i never will like you so its just best you dont talk to me at all ok do we understand each other he just nodded and walked off

well he does sell weed to young kids of 14 to 17

great way to go jimbo fall out with the local drug dealers

well some one has to make a stand

well we are off to the gym now

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:37 am

jimbo wrote: yup thats cool but are you as bad as this

i guy that is a right a hole come up trying to talk to me in my local pub and i just said look i dont like you i,ve never liked you and chances are i never will like you so its just best you dont talk to me at all ok do we understand each other he just nodded and walked off

well he does sell weed to young kids of 14 to 17

great way to go jimbo fall out with the local drug dealers

well some one has to make a stand

well we are off to the gym now

I think that was the *only* way to handle it. Bravo :guitarist

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:52 am

Jimbo,

You have a great writing ability - just great, too funny. I don't golf, I call golf a game of fetch. My husband is a great golfer, and enjoys the game and I enjoy my weekends.. My husband is very excited he was just drawn for the Masters.

Thanks for another great story

Patsy

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:11 am

Patsy Warnick wrote: My husband is very excited he was just drawn for the Masters.

Patsy

Hi Patsy

That's great news for your hubby! How are golfers selected for the Masters? :-6

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:38 am

Masters is a randon drawing - lottery, now this is for the practice days.

The actual 4 days of play are impossible to get - they use to have a waiting list for the 4 days of play, but they gave that up in the '70s, no one will give up their tickets/position - people inherit those tickets, and corporations.

To obtain tickets for the Masters - you can write them for a application and it's a lottery. My husband received tickets in 1997 and now for April '07. It's cool

We've been to several tournaments, we've sat & chatted with CHI CHI, Jack N..

I don't mind watching golf - I won't chase that small ball - if the ball doesn't come back to me, I don't play.. You play golf? I probably have the Masters address around here - I'll look for it, if your interested.? Doesn't Jimbo have the Best stories?

Patsy

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:02 pm

thank you patsy that is very nice of you to say

the truth is though i,m getting better i have terrible trouble spelling

dyslexia runs in my family i had to leave school early to work on the family farm in those days they did not recognize it like they do today if you could not read back then you were just considered thick

who knows maybe they had a point :wah: :wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:36 pm

any one feeling sorry for sue about me blabbing about the golf can have a laugh at my expense now

after going to the gym doin my workout sue and i go to the swimming pool and Jacuzzi part

sue is an excellent swimmer whilst i hate it i seem to flap about like free

willy's stunt double ( no cher and hammy its about a whale )

any we do our lengths and go for the jacuzzi my favourite bit

we get out go to change i say to sue see you in a minute she says ok but

then follows me into the mens changing room full of naked men (thats the 2nd time she has done that maybe its not an accident ) any way i crack up ha ha i thought how embarrassing is that

i shower dry off my shorts in the dryer go to my locker no key

so back to the pool swim up and down like the man from Atlantis still no key i

go back to the Jacuzzi all the people i have just said goodbye to and have to ask them all to move whilst i look for the key, its packed with more people

that have just got in i search every inch still no key

so i have to go to reception in my shorts , down all the corridors past the bar

which is packed there is a band playing every one else is fully clothed but me every single person is looking

the lady at reception says your in luck some one has handed in a key

i walk past the bar people are waving now to the changing room its the wrong key

2 more trips to and from the reception past the bar people still waving to the changing still the wrong keys , the lady i,m short staffed you will have to go to the bar and get one of the lads with the master key so there i am no shoes in shorts packed bar every one looking doh doh doh

now thats embarrassing

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 6:35 am

Yup, my Garden crush is still there :-4