How many... change a lightbulb?

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:20 am

The Question: "How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?"

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

(Sorry, rachelg!!)

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

:yh_rotfl

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:36 am

Gotta LOVE that German Shepard! :-4

chicagolosina · Post by **chicagolosina** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 4:30 pm

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

41 to correct spelling/grammar corrections

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a

government conspiracy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"

and finally,

1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now, and start it all over again.........

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 5:59 pm

hey Chicago....very clever!

...and let's not forget how many members to pontificate about the morality and criminality of lightbulb electrical use and the similarity to electric chairs! BZZZZZZZZZZZAP! (just fooling with you here!):yh_rotfl

Post by **kensloft** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 6:03 pm

chicagolosina wrote: How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

41 to correct spelling/grammar corrections

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a

government conspiracy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"

and finally,

1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now, and start it all over again.........

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 8:20 pm

I agree with LC and kensloft... that is FUNEEE!!!!

:yh_bigsmi

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:58 pm

chicagolosina wrote: 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

Actually, the proper term for a lightbulb is a "globe". Does this make me an industry professional or an anal retentive? Maybe both.

Very funny post, as was the first one.

Good hijack, too. :wah:

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Wed Mar 09, 2005 10:09 am

How many network marketers does it take to change a light bulb?

No one really knows as they just keep recruiting until they find someone who will do it.

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941

Post by **kensloft** » Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:13 pm

LottomagicZ4941 wrote: How many network marketers does it take to change a light bulb?

No one really knows as they just keep recruiting until they find someone who will do it.

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

chicagolosina · Post by **chicagolosina** » Wed Mar 09, 2005 7:39 pm

lady cop wrote: hey Chicago....very clever!

...and let's not forget how many members to pontificate about the morality and criminality of lightbulb electrical use and the similarity to electric chairs! BZZZZZZZZZZZAP! (just fooling with you here!):yh_rotfl
:yh_worshp

good one!! lol

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Mar 09, 2005 7:55 pm

Best laughs I had in a week! :yh_rotfl

OK, here's mine:

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

Never mind...I'll just sit here...

in the dark....

going blind....

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:28 pm

How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

*Charismatic:* Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

*Pentecostal:* 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the

spirit of darkness.

*Presbyterians:* None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

*Roman Catholic:* None - Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

*Baptists:* At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

*Episcopalians:* 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

*Mormons:* 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

*Unitarians:* We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

*Methodists:* Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or

tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

*Nazarene:* 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

*Lutherans:* None - Lutherans don't believe in change.

*Amish:* WhatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a light bulb?

found on

http://www.christianforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=12753

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

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Post by **kensloft** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:29 am

LottomagicZ4941 wrote: How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

*Charismatic:* Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

*Pentecostal:* 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the

spirit of darkness.

*Presbyterians:* None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

*Roman Catholic:* None - Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

*Baptists:* At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

*Episcopalians:* 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

*Mormons:* 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

*Unitarians:* We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

*Methodists:* Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or

tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

*Nazarene:* 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

*Lutherans:* None - Lutherans don't believe in change.

*Amish:* WhatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a light bulb?

found on

http://www.christianforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=12753

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941A

Yah. But they forgot a few. That's so Christian.

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:09 am

feel free to come up with some light jokes for the rest. Actually I don't even know all the congregations/sects/denomoninations listed. I'm just a real Christian who believes that the Bible is God's word.

I'm ADD a bit myself so. . . . Some of you may have already guessed this:)

found on

http://www.money-talk.org/viewtopic.php ... c&start=15

How many ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna ride bikes?

Lotto

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MagicZ4941A

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:10 am

LOL just found another funny light bulb one. Kicking myself that I didn't think of it myself!!!!

michael_legna vbmenu_register("postmenu_27005", true);

"How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a lightbulb ?

I Don't know - I didn't let them in to find out. "

found on

http://www.christiansonline.cc/forum/sh ... #post27637

also on the same thread

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. by Darth_Bill

Latter Day Saints

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MagicZ4941A