For Wolvie!!!

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:33 am

How can you tell when its homecoming weekend at Nebraska?

The cheerleaders have braided their armpit hair.

How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your doom room?

Grease her hips and push.

A University of Nebraska football player walks into the doctors office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on top of his head. The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?

The frog replies, “Can you take this wart off my butt?

Why is Nebraska’s football field artificial turf and not real grass?

So the cheerleaders won’t graze.

Why do Nebraska football players like smart women?

Opposites attract

:yh_giggle :yh_tong2

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:36 am

Sheryl wrote:

How do you get a Oklahoma cheerleader into your doom room?

Grease her hips and push.

:yh_giggle :yh_tong2

that's the way i heard it.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:38 am

and...

What does the N

on the Nebraska helmet stand for??

Knowledge.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:41 am

yep spelling isn't one of thier strengths huh..

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:46 am

Q:

Why was the Texas Tech football team late for their last game in Lincoln?

A:

Every time their bus passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", They did.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:47 am

How do you become a small business owner in Texas?

Start a large business and put a Texas Tech grad in charge.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:48 am

What do you get when you cross a Texas Tech Red Raider with a Groundhog?

6 more weeks of Bad football.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:48 am

How do you tell the difference between a Nebraska cheerleader and a catfish?

One has whiskers and is smelly, the other is just a fish.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:50 am

A Tech fan called a local hospital, "My wife is having a baby! What should i do?"

the nurse asks, "Is this her first baby?"

The Tech fan replies, "No. This is her husband."

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:51 am

How can you tell if a Nebraska football player has a girlfriend?

Tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:52 am

Sheryl wrote: How do you tell the difference between a Nebraska cheerleader and a catfish?

One has whiskers and is smelly, the other is just a fish.
that's pretty good.

Where was OJ driving in his Bronco?

Lubbock, Tx. he knew the police would NEVER think to look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:53 am

Sheryl wrote: How can you tell if a Nebraska football player has a girlfriend?

Tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
:yh_laugh :yh_laugh :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:53 am

Wolverine wrote:

Where was OJ driving in his Bronco?

Lubbock, Tx. he knew the police would NEVER think to look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.

:wah: that's good.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:56 am

ok this isn't a college one, but it's funny

A K-State coed was pulled over for speeding just outside Lincoln. As the Nebraska State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Nebraska State Police Ball." He replied, "Nebraska State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:58 am

what do they call Duct Tape in Lubbock?

Chrome plating.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:59 am

Two Nebraska offensive linemen are told that they cannot play anymore college football until they successfully pass a required exam that they have both missed. So, the instructor gets them in an exam room by themselves, lays out the test and says, “You have 45 minutes to complete the exam. I will return to grade your papers, and he leaves the room.

The first lineman opens the test and reads the first question aloud. “Old McDonald had a blank. Damn, this first one is hard! He elbows his teammate and asks him what the answer is. The second lineman answers, “You Beefer, it’s ‘Old McDonald had a FARM.’ So they both start to write down the answer.

Then the first lineman says, “Hey, how do you spell farm?

The second lineman says, “Boy you are an ignorant Beefer. You spell farm, E-I-E-I-O!

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:05 am

What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and Billy Graham have in common?

They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and possums have in common?

Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Why was Frank Solich upset when the Cornhusker playbook was stolen?

Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Where do you go in Lincoln in case of a tornado?

Memorial Stadium - they never get a touchdown there

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:14 am

What is the most popular major at Texas Tech?

Hickbonics or remedial english

HEIDI:(noun) Greeting

HIRE YEW: Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.

(usuage)- Heidi! Hire yew?

BARD: (verb) past tense usuage of the infinitive "to borrow"

(usuage)- "My brother bard my truck lass week."

MUNTS: (noun) Calendar division

BARE: (noun) Alcoholic beverage made from malted hops and barley

THANK:(verb) ability to cognitively asses.

(usuage)- "I thank i'll have a bare."

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:15 am

:wah: :wah:

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:20 am

Sheryl wrote: What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and Billy Graham have in common?

They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

that is really good.

and it's usuable for any team.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:35 am

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.

"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."