Advice for when you are in a scary situation

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:36 am

Advice For Scary Situations (From Horror Movies)

* When it appears that you have killed the monster, never

check to see if it's really dead.

* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has

just gone out.

* When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and

go it alone.

* Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near

a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

* If you're searching for something which caused a noise and

find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately

if you value your life.

* If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

* If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for

a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

* If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall

down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion.

Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the

monster is merely rambling along, it's still moving fast

enough to catch up with you.

* If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacter-

istic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glow-

ing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from

them as fast as possible.

* Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of

which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania,

the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

* If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the

nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

* If you see a town that looks deserted except for children,

do not try to 'help' them - they will eat you.

* Do not allow crewmates back aboard the craft if and after

you have found a hideous parasite attached to his/her body.

* Be forewarned that a gun is only good for ALMOST killing

the monster, never for COMPLETELY killing it. Be sure to

have an extra weapon, preferably one with a "flair" (a knife,

a harpoon, a heavy box, razor confetti, pop tarts...)

* Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear

scratching, heavy breathing, or the voice of a dear relative

whom you THOUGHT was dead.

* If you are a female, never show your breasts. Easy women

die fast.

* Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds.

* If the phone lines are dead, and you hear footsteps

upstairs, and you say "Tom... Tom is that you?" and Tom does

not answer, run away.

* If you have to run away, taking a bus is your best bet. If

you take a car the monster will be in it.

[]www.getamused.com]

venus · Post by **venus** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:12 am

:wah:

also never smoke, the smoker is nearly always the bad guy or the firdt to die, also if you get drunk!!!

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:16 am

On a slightly serious note...have you ever noticed that the person who is of a "minority" is often one of the first to go?

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:19 am

Marie5656 wrote: On a slightly serious note...have you ever noticed that the person who is of a "minority" is often one of the first to go?

do you mean the virgin?

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:20 am

Shweet tatersalad wrote: do you mean the virgin?

Well, definatly a minority in many of these films.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:45 pm

If you're a teenager don't have sex in a camp bed either. Jason's under there with a machete.