Well, its odd really. alone?

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:06 pm

I find myself alone all the time, even my mother says I am worthless. You see, for some reason my sister told her I was gay. My sister, 19, thinks I am gay, because I dont really have any guy-friends, and am not really social. She thinks its against God or something, I am atheist so that doesn't bother me. My own mother calls me a dick-sucking faggot, and makes me go to my room everytime I enter a room she is in. I live in a small 2 bd. appartment so thats pretty much everywhere. People at school make fun of me daily, not only for being 'gay' but for being fat and I have horrible acne. I have recieved a dozen of threat notes in the last year, saying if I dont leave, or stop being 'gay' I'll be killed. The thing is, I am afraid if I tell anyone they wont believe me, and my mom wouldnt really care. So, I am locked up in my room, on hours on end crying and doing nothing.

And the funny thing is, I dont even know if I am gay, I mean I do like girls, and even have a crush on one. But, day after day of being called gay, I am sorta believing it. =/ its all very confusing. And I just need some helpful wisdom - what to do? Go to foster care, or find my real father. and dont say counseling with my mom and sister, they dont want to be in the same room with me anymore. :-5

it just sucks, because its not my fault, and I cant fix how people feel about me.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:09 pm

Well Jim, that is an unusual intro. Serious threats should be taken to your admin, if mom is nonsupportive. Next note take to the head of your school. They will follow with appropriate action. Ignore the rude comments from others, it just shows their mean streaks to pick on someone.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:13 pm

I hated adolescents for this very reason. It'll be over soon. BUT, I would definetly get help for your mother and sister's terrible way they treat you. You say you,re 19? Get an after school job and save money and get the HELL OUTTA THERE! They are worthless for not showing you what a wonderful human being you are.

edit: sorry, read that wrong. How old are you?

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:16 pm

Oh, I am 15.

I already have a job at Mcdonalds, and in the newspaper and yearbook staff. To escape them, but it doesnt help much.

I am an excellent student, so I dont want to drop out of school just because of some notes.

And, ill be a junior this year (skipped 10th grade), so it might let up. I am not sure.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:17 pm

[QUOTE=cherandbuster][QUOTE=Jimmeh]My own mother calls me a dick-sucking faggot,

This is quite strange for a first post

And I'm having trouble believing it's real.

Apologies if I'm wrong.

But something doesn't feel right here.

I know it doesnt seem real, but its true. I admit, I have my faults and I do retaliate.

And sorry if this extreme for a first post, I kinda have no one else to talk to with this kind of thing. I can edit it out if you like.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:18 pm

Save every penny you make and get out of there. Is there a teacher you can confide in? What about a manager at work?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:19 pm

Jimmeh --

I actually deleted my post a few seconds after I wrote it because I felt bad about it. You must have quoted it in that few-second time span.

I apologize for my comments.

Have you ever spoken to a school counselor? If not, how about a trusted adult friend?

It seems like you need an adult who will listen to you. I hope you find it.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:20 pm

Jimmeh,

the world is full of small minded bigots, even in our own families sadly.

But you don't need to take this crap!

You have rights!

Is there a teacher at school you like? Someone you feel comfortable with?

Go and talk to them. Explain the situation.

Or else you must have a school counsellor or welfare officer. Talk to them.

It's their job! They are there FOR YOU!

Is there someone at home your mum and/or sister respect and listen to?

An Aunt maybe or a family friend?

Talk to them. Explain how you feel.

Get them to sit with your mum and sis and explain calmly to them how you feel.

Such negative behaviour is absolutely NOT acceptable! Even from your own family!

Maybe you could get them on your side by asking for some diet and healthy eating advice, tell them there's a girl you'd like to ask out. Shock their small-minded socks off! And get a bottle of clearasil!

Good luck kiddo. Report back here for hugs and encouragement!

Big hugs to ya sweetie!

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:21 pm

I notice from your local time, there might be a chance you live near SnoozeControl. She would be happy to walk over there and kick some @$$!

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:21 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Save every penny you make and get out of there. Is there a teacher you can confide in? What about a manager at work?

Well, teachers do seem to like me, I am sure I can talk to at least to one of them.

I'll try to ease into that.

Hmm, I would save money if I didnt have to pay my mom's electirc and cable bills.

Since I am the only one on the internet, I pay for that, but electric and cable is kind of extreme, I pay almost 250$ a month, and cant work so much during the school year.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:23 pm

awh. you guys are quite kind, and thanks for the help. ^^; I will defiantly try to talk to someone, espically about the notes, they concern me quite a bit. :-6

thanks. I'll probably call a friend to help me talk to them, or just move out. I'll do that when they go to the beach.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:24 pm

You are 15 and YOUR MOTHER makes you pay utilities? And what is you 19 year old sister responsible for? IS she still living at home?

Please, talk to a teacher. You need to get out of there. I cant stand small minded hateful people. I'm sure there is at least ONE teacher there that can help you.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:25 pm

Jimmeh wrote: awh. you guys are quite kind, and thanks for the help.

Jimmeh

We are a nice bunch

Keep talking

And we'll keep listening :-6

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:26 pm

DesignerGal wrote: You are 15 and YOUR MOTHER makes you pay utilities? And what is you 19 year old sister responsible for? IS she still living at home?

Please, talk to a teacher. You need to get out of there. I cant stand small minded hateful people. I'm sure there is at least ONE teacher there that can help you.

yes, my sister lives with me. She has a boyfriend, and a baby and my mom doesnt really have a job.

lets say, she makes money doing other things. nothing sexual, I just dont want to talk about it.

I can't stand close-minded people either, I mean if I was gay, who cares? But its annoying when its your own mother is the one battling you.

and, I will defiantly find a teacher, I have a couple in mind.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:27 pm

cherandbuster wrote: Jimmeh

We are a nice bunch

Keep talking

And we'll keep listening :-6

thanks. =D

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:28 pm

J -- :-6

When you talk with this teacher

Would it help to bring along a copy of this thread? It might be a good way to break the ice and get a dialogue going . . .

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:28 pm

Jimmeh wrote: yes, my sister lives with me. She has a boyfriend, and a baby and my mom doesnt really have a job.

lets say, she makes money doing other things. nothing sexual, I just dont want to talk about it.

I can't stand close-minded people either, I mean if I was gay, who cares? But its annoying when its your own mother is the one battling you.

and, I will defiantly find a teacher, I have a couple in mind.

OK. Wait a minute. Hold the phone. Your sister is treating you like a worthless little sinner because you are going against God because you might be gay, right?

Ask her why she had a phucking baby out of wedlock if she is so determined to be a moral leader and follow the word of God????

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:30 pm

cherandbuster wrote: J -- :-6

When you talk with this teacher

Would it help to bring along a copy of this thread? It might be a good way to break the ice and get a dialogue going . . .

that is a good idea, thanks.

DesignerGal wrote: OK. Wait a minute. Hold the phone. Your sister is treating you like a worthless little sinner because you are going against God because you might be gay, right?

Ask her why she had a phucking baby out of wedlock if she is so determined to be a moral leader and follow the word of God????

Exactly, that is what I have been trying to say. And im not racist or anything, but her boyfriend is an illegal alien from mexico, and she has to be on my case? She's been arrested and everything, I am not playing the victim, but she has no right saying anything about anyone.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:32 pm

oh, and where you guys have that AMEN thing, how do you get it there, because I learned in school, how to make forum signatures. ^_^

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:33 pm

Get out while they are gone. Go to a Social Worker. Your mother doesnt deserve you and your sister has her own problems which is probably why she is getting your mothe to dump on you so she isnt the "bad" kid anymore.

Check into Borderline Personality Disorder. They are probably both BPD's.

Can you stay with a co worker for a while? I know at 15 you cant legally move out. Do you know where your father is?

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:38 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Get out while they are gone. Go to a Social Worker. Your mother doesnt deserve you and your sister has her own problems which is probably why she is getting your mothe to dump on you so she isnt the "bad" kid anymore.

Check into Borderline Personality Disorder. They are probably both BPD's.

Can you stay with a co worker for a while? I know at 15 you cant legally move out. Do you know where your father is?

You see, I am afraid if I run a way again, she'll call the cops. Tried that at a friends house, and she just said I was a problem kid.

My father left us a while back, so I dont know that much about him, or where he is.

And yellowpages.com doesnt help that much, theres many Rick's with my last name. D< But, I will try getting into an emancipation program, and maybe live with a friend from work, who is looking for room-mates.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:41 pm

Pinky wrote: Great advice from all the guys so far!

You can arrange to see a social worker, or a teacher might put you in touch with someone who can help.

Do you have any other relatives that you could stay with long term?

Trust me on this, never let anyone tell you that you are worthless or make you feel bad for being who you are. You have a right to be whoever you want to be, and you do not have to put up with others telling you a load of BS.

yes, they have been quite a bit of help.

A relative? I am sure they will believe whatever my mother tells them, but its worth an ask through email.

Again, the problem with going into a foster care program, my mother will go against it. D< I dont know why, she doesn't even like me. Maybe she doesnt want to get embarassed? I dont know, I wish I had a mother's perspective on it.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:42 pm

Pinky is right on! If we all had the smae beliefs we wouldnt have such exciting protests. Do you have a PRIDE club at school you could make friends with? What kind of town do you live in? Are there any Gay outings (if you ARE or ARENT) you could join? Gays are mostly very open and accepting of others.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:44 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Pinky is right on! If we all had the smae beliefs we wouldnt have such exciting protests. Do you have a PRIDE club at school you could make friends with? What kind of town do you live in? Are there any Gay outings (if you ARE or ARENT) you could join? Gays are mostly very open and accepting of others.

Well, I live in a small conservitive community, near the gulf of mexico. We dont actually have a PRIDE club, and there is one gay guy that goes to my school. But its quite sad, because someone put him in the hospital. I have no problem with the gay community, and am in contact with some through the internet. So I can confide in them, and ask questions.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:49 pm

Check out this link and see if it describes any of the behaviors of your mother and sister:

www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/main.shtml

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:52 pm

The page cannot be displayed

maybe it is down, ill list it under favorites and re-visit it later. :-6

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:55 pm

try this one.

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:59 pm

wow. I havent read through the whole thing yet, but it sure describes them so far. that is amazing, are you going to be psycologist or something?

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:08 pm

No. My crappy mean father has it. Its most prevalent in women though. You will get as much support as you can find anywhere here. Just remember that you are a worthy human being. Find some kind of support through friends and join more groups at school if you have the time.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:12 pm

DesignerGal wrote: No. My crappy mean father has it. Its most prevalent in women though. You will get as much support as you can find anywhere here. Just remember that you are a worthy human being. Find some kind of support through friends and join more groups at school if you have the time.

I defiantly will, and thank you and everyone else who has give advice to me today. =D

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:15 pm

Hello newbie, if you can talk with teachers at school, do you have a guidance councellor, perhaps they can help as well. If this is your life and you are who you say you are, I detect you have a better sense of direction than your mother and sister. Stand by your beliefs you sound like you want to lead a more stable life and are willing to make the effort. It's a shame you are so young and carry such a heavy burden. No kid at your age deserves your kind of life.

I myself have a 15 year old and do everything in my power to ease her into adult life only bill she pays is her celluar phone, I feel sad you have so much to carry.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:23 pm

minks wrote: Hello newbie, if you can talk with teachers at school, do you have a guidance councellor, perhaps they can help as well. If this is your life and you are who you say you are, I detect you have a better sense of direction than your mother and sister. Stand by your beliefs you sound like you want to lead a more stable life and are willing to make the effort. It's a shame you are so young and carry such a heavy burden. No kid at your age deserves your kind of life.

I myself have a 15 year old and do everything in my power to ease her into adult life only bill she pays is her celluar phone, I feel sad you have so much to carry.

awh. ^_^ thanks, finally a mothers perspective. For a while, I thought all mothers were like that, its easy to forget moms are people too. I will try to talk to more people about this problem, thanks again.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:25 pm

Jimmeh wrote: awh. ^_^ thanks, finally a mothers perspective. For a while, I thought all mothers were like that, its easy to forget moms are people too. I will try to talk to more people about this problem, thanks again.

Jimmeh :-6

There are many wonderful people in this world

It's a shame you can't find any in your family

Keep looking

You deserve it :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:38 pm

Jimmeh wrote: awh. ^_^ thanks, finally a mothers perspective. For a while, I thought all mothers were like that, its easy to forget moms are people too. I will try to talk to more people about this problem, thanks again.

No not all mothers are alike that is for certain. Moms are all kinds of things really.

I hope you do manage to fine a reliable confidant. You are at a tough age a go between age, you should still have carefree fun of a child yet you are on the brink of becoming a young adult. Not easy in the best of circumstances.

Come as often to FG as you like we always have ears to listen.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:11 pm

Thanks to both of you, and both bring up good suggestions.

I do think ill have to close my mind for a while, at least for the next three years, or until I find a place to stay. thanks so much again.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:12 pm

Jimmeh wrote: Thanks to both of you, and both bring up good suggestions.

I do think ill have to close my mind for a while, at least for the next three years, or until I find a place to stay. thanks so much again.

I wish you luck.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:36 pm

Jimmeh wrote: I will defiantly try to talk to someone, espically about the notes, they concern me quite a bit.

You realize, I hope, that these notes show what true cowards the people sending them are, right? They don't have the balls to stand up and say what they think, they have to take the chicken-sh!t way and send notes like some pathetic 3rd grader. I find that laughable.

I know it's not, to you, and truly does concern you, I'm just trying to give you another way of looking at it.

Stick around here with us for a bit Jimmeh, and listen to these good people here. They are a great bunch, and really do care. There's always people around to talk to, and I think that's what you need: someone to listen to you. You found the best place on the 'net for that!!! Glad you did, too. :yh_peace

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:39 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Just remember that you are a worthy human being.
BINGO!!!!!!

(That was worth repeating :yh_bigsmi )

Hugh Janus · Post by **Hugh Janus** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:42 pm

Is it just me? Or do the bells seem to be ringing out of tune?

I may be very wrong, but...:-3

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:01 pm

Hugh Janus wrote: Is it just me? Or do the bells seem to be ringing out of tune?

I may be very wrong, but...:-3

You may very well be wrong. In my opinion its better to assume sincerity rather than cunning. If your proven wrong you still did the right thing because your intentions were "true"

vampress.rozz · Post by **vampress.rozz** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:22 pm

Nomad wrote: its better to assume sincerity rather than cunning. If your proven wrong you still did the right thing because your intentions were "true"

shouldn't this line read "old chinese proverb say" at the beginning lol

It's hard to know what to write to such a tale but hope it works out. Some people forget that children are our future. You never know your luck one day she may need to rely on you when she's old and such a nasty daughter wont want anything to do with her. .... don't forget to turn out the light when you silently close the bedroom door after her no matter what time of day it is.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:27 pm

vampress.rozz wrote: shouldn't this line read "old chinese proverb say" at the beginning lol

It's hard to know what to write to such a tale but hope it works out. Some people forget that children are our future. You never know your luck one day she may need to rely on you when she's old and such a nasty daughter wont want anything to do with her. .... don't forget to turn out the light when you silently close the bedroom door after her no matter what time of day it is.

very nice

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:59 pm

Jimmeh, I popped over to the last page without reading everything in the middle, so please excuse me if I've missed some important info.

When I was a teen, I too had acne so horribly I was teased all the time. Add being too skinny for words, and all the nicknames that go with that, and I see myself in your words. I'm saddened by your lonliness. I was also accused of being a lesbian. (gay wasn't a word for homosexuals back then) My parents didn't have a clue and I was very lonley.

I agree with the people here that have steered you to a counselor. But I can also understand your apprehension in doing so. I'm glad you felt comfortable with a group of "invisible" people enough to get your feelings out. I never had that.

As for your acne, teen years are hard for that. I had a friend in jr. high that suggested I use rubbing alcohol on my face to dry them up. It worked! They didn't go away that night (lol), but within a couple months they did start to clear up. Rubbing alcohol is cheap too. I used a washcloth, and liberally wet it with the alcohol and rubbed my face and neck in the morning and before bed. On weekends I did it 3 times a day. Acne can be handled. Also, drink water and NO sodapop. Stay away from oily foods. What you eat and drink affects your skin.

As for people saying your gay, You know what you are. Yes. It's hurtful. It was for me too. But Please don't let these juvenile idiots dictate to you HOW you are going to feel that day. And the day after, and the day after that. They are just insecure little bullies that don't have anything better to do with their time. I know it's hard to hear that everyday and Especially from your Mother! She needs help!

Feel free to PM me. I'm here to listen. Hugging!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:18 pm

Accutane is supposed to be a wonder drug for acne, talk to your doctor about it. Being pro active is your best bet for a solution.

Jimmeh · Post by **Jimmeh** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 1:16 pm

awh. thanks guys.

About the alchol thing - its so odd, I do exactly the same thing, have been for 2 months now, It hasn't let down, but I keep at it. ^^