Monkey

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:03 am

To Monkey he said "how de doo?

Is there something for you I can do?"

Then Monkey bent over,

Said "Kiss my assover,"

And Dr. Phil called for his crew.

(lights -- camera -- action!!)

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:16 am

Dr. Phil put that Monk on a stool,

And warned him he better be cool,

If he didn't fix,

His addictiion to chicks,

He'd no longer have use of his "tool!"

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 12:22 pm

Samantha wrote: Dr. Phil put that Monk on a stool,

And warned him he better be cool,

If he didn't fix,

His addictiion to chicks,

He'd no longer have use of his "tool!"

But monkey wasn't worried much

For some things you just can't touch

Nor would you want to

Your fingers would turn blue

And you'd come down with chills and such

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 3:16 pm

4rum wrote: But monkey wasn't worried much

For some things you just can't touch

Nor would you want to

Your fingers would turn blue

And you'd come down with chills and such

How 'bout if instead I touch you?

You won't make my fingers turn blue!!

I may get the chills,

But I won't need pills,

But maybe YOU may when I'm through!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:33 am

Samantha wrote: How 'bout if instead I touch you?

You won't make my fingers turn blue!!

I may get the chills,

But I won't need pills,

But maybe YOU may when I'm through!

GAAAK!!!.........i'm going to my room now:-3

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:41 pm

What kind of a word is GAAAK?

Is it something you say when you lack?

If your room has a view,

I'll go there with you,

Provided you give me a snack!!

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:22 pm

Chocolates and berries and sweet marmalade

Pressed to your lips if snacks are what's bade

And in your reflection

A view of perfection

I think once you're here, you'll be glad you stayed:)

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:38 pm

4rum wrote: Chocolates and berries and sweet marmalade

Pressed to your lips if snacks are what's bade

And in your reflection

A view of perfection

I think once you're here, you'll be glad you stayed:)

You sure know how to charm the knickers right off a gal don't ya?

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:19 am

Samantha wrote: You sure know how to charm the knickers right off a gal don't ya?

YOUR knickers are 'specially desirable

So totally cute, they're admirable

Stretched and laced

To keep things in place

Tell me Samantha, are they acquirable?:yh_drool

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 4:30 am

My knickers are not for sale,

I won't give you any detail,

But someday soon,

On a blue moon,

You may want to check in the mail!!

:-4

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:12 pm

Miss Monkey's new job is a blast,

She sells adults toys unsurpassed,

She sure knows her stuff,

From feathers to cuffs,

So hurry, they're selling real fast.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:00 am

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey's new job is a blast,

She sells adults toys unsurpassed,

She sure knows her stuff,

From feathers to cuffs,

So hurry, they're selling real fast.

The feathers went flat so she fluffed 'em

The cuffs went drab so she buffed 'em

But a cop with a woody

Took all her goodies

You might say he cuffed 'em an' stuffed 'em

............book 'em Dan-O

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:15 am

Miss Monkey then went to court,

The judge was a very good sport!

He tossed the case out,

He let the cop pout,

With Miss Monkey that judge did cavort!!

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:08 am

he-yeah come da judge, he-yeah come da-judge

knowed it wuz wrong but he let her fudge

checked 'er caboose

then turned 'er loose

Jus' glad dat cop doan hole no grudge

eef-ife... iffa,iffa,pip,pop.....................

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:19 pm

Miss Monkey sure gets around,

Her talents are rather renowned,

She has a yen,

For uniformed men,

And for men, by holy vows bound!!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:12 am

Samantha wrote: My knickers are not for sale,

I won't give you any detail,

But someday soon,

On a blue moon,

You may want to check in the mail!!

:-4

On postage don't be scrimpin'

Lest P.O. thinks you are pimpin'

Mailman may track

This one from sack

And finish his route limpin' (as in... with the 'kick stand' down)

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:27 pm

I may not pop in here that much,

When i do, my funny bone you touch,

I laugh out real loud,

You two should be proud,

You get me right in the crutch.

(sorry, pathetic offering)

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:19 pm

abbey wrote: I may not pop in here that much,

When i do, my funny bone you touch,

I laugh out real loud,

You two should be proud,

You get me right in the crutch.

(sorry, pathetic offering)

abbey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

So glad you came by with your rhyme

You're welcome to drop in any time

Sam and I miss you

And that is true

WE NEED HELP SLINGING THIS SLIME!!!

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:10 am

So you think what we sling is slime?

Just any old rinky dink rhyme?

I s'pose it iz,

But thats show bizz,

I now think it's party time!!

Attached files

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:26 am

I think I'll go pound down a few,

I'll dance on the bar when I'm through,

Let's cause riot,

Down at the Hyatt,

Come watch me make my debut.

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 5:13 am

Samantha wrote: So you think what we sling is slime?

Just any old rinky dink rhyme?

I s'pose it iz,

But thats show bizz,

I now think it's party time!!

I don't take this stuff too seriously

It's fun but not deleriously

And rhymes are rhymes

Some yours some mine

Only a few from friends, curioulsy

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 5:16 am

Samantha wrote: I think I'll go pound down a few,

I'll dance on the bar when I'm through,

Let's cause riot,

Down at the Hyatt,

Come watch me make my debut.

Monkey was thrown out of the Hyatt

Saw a pole, thought he would try it

Busted his nuts

So much for his de-butt

Now no one else will come nigh it

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 5:38 am

And now its Abbey's turn,

Watch, look listen and learn,

I'll spin to the snickers,

Then throw down my knickers,

Just watch this sweetpie burn.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 7:29 am

abbey wrote: And now its Abbey's turn,

Watch, look listen and learn,

I'll spin to the snickers,

Then throw down my knickers,

Just watch this sweetpie burn.

Well if ya got it, bring it

Flaunt your li'l bell an' I'll ring it

Knickers or no

Stay for the show

If I don't know it, I'll wing it

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:48 am

That Abbey can sure work the pole,

She makes all the men lose control,

Miss Monkey is jealous,

Of all Abbey's fellas,

Down at the watering hole!

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:19 am

Monkey was getting depressed,

So he entered a silly contest,

He sucked down the beer

While the patrons did cheer

Then he passed out along with the rest!!

:wah:

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 5:19 pm

I'm starting to feel all alone,

Would someone please toss me a bone,

I know someone's there,

With something to bare,

I'm tired of holding my own.

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:36 am

It seems that Monkey's as drunk as a skunk

While 4rum's asleep in his bunk

But don't feel neglected

Just get yourself nekkid

Spooning might revive 4rum's spunk

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:13 am

Miss Monkey heard 4rum's appeal,

She thinks it's a pretty good deal,

She's naked and waiting,

Anticipates mating,

She thinks it will be just ideal!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:39 am

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey heard 4rum's appeal,

She thinks it's a pretty good deal,

She's naked and waiting,

Anticipates mating,

She thinks it will be just ideal!!

Though randy, rowdy and ripe

Ms. Monkey's not my type

I'd beakon quicker

To someones knickers

Without the skidmark stripe:wah:

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:18 am

"Miss Monkey, don't mess with my man,

I'll knock you clean on your can!!

Go find that Monkey,

You think is so hunky,

And I will give 4rum a hand!"

Attached files

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:17 am

Samantha wrote: "Miss Monkey, don't mess with my man,

I'll knock you clean on your can!!

Go find that Monkey,

You think is so hunky,

And I will give 4rum a hand!"

Your hand I will gladly take

But so there is no mistake

Some other parts

Are nearer my heart

Would any of those be at stake???:eek:

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:47 am

Well that's a loaded reply,

You know that I'm really shy,

But I'll give you my shirt,

Cause I AM such a flirt,

I won't leave you all high and dry.

:-3

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:52 am

Poor Monkey is under the weather,

He had a reaction to feathers,

He broke out in hives,

I hope he survives,

Maybe he best stick to leather.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:04 pm

Samantha wrote: Poor Monkey is under the weather,

He had a reaction to feathers,

He broke out in hives,

I hope he survives,

Maybe he best stick to leather.

You two are like oil and water

Mutual cannon fodder

He's only sick

In posts you pick

But he's a robust little rotter:yh_monkey

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:18 pm

Ol' Monkey may lack some couth

Lost it squandered on youth

But come to livin'

He's party drivin'

Never been long in the tooth

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:18 am

Never been "long in the tooth?"

What does that mean forsooth?

Teeth like a beaver,

Or a meat cleaver.

Or that he won't tell us the truth?

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:30 am

Samantha wrote: Never been "long in the tooth?"

What does that mean forsooth?

Teeth like a beaver,

Or a meat cleaver.

Or that he won't tell us the truth?

If we don't stay in bed all day

Or waste all our time with play

There is much to learn

That's monkey's concern

So he'll take this chance to say......

.............Long in the tooth means 'elderly; old', and by extension 'past one's prime; over the hill'.

The expression derives from horses, of all things. As horses age, their gums recess, which is the origin of the practice of examining a horse's teeth to determine its age (and therefore value), a sort of early version of kicking the tires. (Horse traders, like used-car salesman, are not to be trusted.) An old horse's gums will have recessed so much that the roots of the teeth are visible, thus making the teeth appear longer--hence long in the tooth to mean 'old', and hence used figuratively paralleling figurative senses of 'old' such as 'past one's prime'.

Long in the tooth is first found in England in the nineteenth century, though it's likely that it was in use much earlier but never got recorded.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:50 am

Thank you for that education,

Such wisdom brings great elation,

Be still my heart,

That Monkey is smart,

Too bad he causes so much frustration.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:02 pm

Samantha wrote: Thank you for that education,

Such wisdom brings great elation,

Be still my heart,

That Monkey is smart,

Too bad he causes so much frustration.

He's not that hard to understand

He's not contrived or even planned

His heart is lusty but it's pure

No remorse for carnal lure

His humor is the bawdy brand:yh_monkey

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 6:18 am

That Monkey is just a big lout,

Of that there's surly no doubt,

He's lusty and lewd,

Obnoxious and rewd,

He smells like an old rotting trout!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 8:37 am

Samantha wrote: That Monkey is just a big lout,

Of that there's surly no doubt,

He's lusty and lewd,

Obnoxious and rewd,

He smells like an old rotting trout!

Trout, salmon or bass

I wouldn't judge too fast

Even coochi

Can smell like sushi

Care for a little repast?

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:31 am

Thoughts of sushi disgust,

While salmon sounds like a must,

You get the grill,

I'll chop the dill,

We'll feast and feed till we bust.

you yummy thang!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:01 am

Samantha wrote: Thoughts of sushi disgust,

While salmon sounds like a must,

You get the grill,

I'll chop the dill,

We'll feast and feed till we bust.

you yummy thang!!

That sounds like SUCH a nice meeting

Laughing and grilling and eating

With fresh lemonade

Yep it's homade

....... a kiss while the charcoal is heating?

:-4

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:03 am

Miss Monkey sat by her monkey hut

Scratchin' an itch, on her monkey butt

When Monkey spied 'er

He tried to ride 'er

Didn't know she was sittin' on a ko-ker-nut!

.......geeeeeeze.......... a re-run, how'ed THAT happen??? :-5

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:29 am

4rum wrote: Miss Monkey sat by her monkey hut

Scratchin' an itch, on her monkey butt

When Monkey spied 'er

He tried to ride 'er

Didn't know she was sittin' on a ko-ker-nut!

.......geeeeeeze.......... a re-run, how'ed THAT happen??? :-5

THIS time, she went for the ride,

Her needs no longer denied,

She's no longer proper,

About Monkey's whopper,

So "Do it again," she cried!!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 22, 2006 10:22 pm

Well monkey love got made that night

As the two wore out the pale moonlight

And come the dawn

They kept right on

And the rooster crew at such a sight :yh_monkey

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:30 am

[QUOTE=4rum]Well monkey love got made that night

As the two wore out the pale moonlight

And come the dawn

They kept right on

And the rooster crew at such a sight :yh_monkey[/QUOTE

The rooster was getting concerned,

Those two just would not adjourn,

He phoned all his friends,

To come see what transcends,

Tickets he sold, much was learned!!

:-6

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:48 am

The seating was now getting tight,

For all to witness this sight,

The sun was now setting,

There was no abetting,

It seemed they'd continue all night!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:52 am

Samantha wrote: The seating was now getting tight,

For all to witness this sight,

The sun was now setting,

There was no abetting,

It seemed they'd continue all night!!

But just as the light gave out

Monkey arose with a shout

He missed a stroke

His ****** broke

Now his prowess is in doubt