Monkey

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:01 pm

Remembering the early P4

Cowboys were a favorite of yours

But they're pretty slow

On foot you know

That's why they need a good horse

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:11 pm

Monkey sat on a rail road track

Nuts slipped through a cross tie crack

Train came along

Squished his dong

Now he needs someone to sew it back:eek:

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:25 pm

Hmmmm.... gonna take more than needle and thread

Might need clamps and staples instead

Here's a hint

Add a splint

An' put him in traction Dr. said

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:04 pm

4rum wrote: Cayuse is a common name given a cowboys horse.

Seems you know what a caboose is :yh_drool

Of cabooses I sure have plenty,

Been that way since I was twenty,

Kinda like JayLo,

In the butt, you know,

Rather that, than not have any.

(rats--had to resort to near rhyme)

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:10 pm

4rum wrote: Remembering the early P4

Cowboys were a favorite of yours

But they're pretty slow

On foot you know

That's why they need a good horse

"To save a horse," I used to say,

"I'd ride a cowboy any day,"

But now there's you,

I love you true,

So you may take that "boy" away!!

Attached files

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:14 pm

4rum wrote: Hmmmm.... gonna take more than needle and thread

Might need clamps and staples instead

Here's a hint

Add a splint

An' put him in traction Dr. said

Miss Monkey heard of this incident,

She sent him home some weenie cement,

She really meant well,

But it made his weenie swell,

Now he wears a sign that says "weenie for rent!"

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:24 pm

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey heard of this incident,

She sent him home some weenie cement,

She really meant well,

But it made his weenie swell,

Now he wears a sign that says "weenie for rent!"

OWWWW... THAT stuff burns monkey's yellin':eek:

What all is in it, there's no tellin'

Monkey's got

Only one thought

Can he stop the pain and keep the swellin'?:sneaky:

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:40 pm

Blimey O'Reilly, stop goin round houses

Just stop your messing about

Give her a kiss

I'm sure you wont miss

Or Abbey will start to shout.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:01 pm

ABBEY!!!!!

Good to see you!!!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:08 pm

It's been a long time

I've missed reading your rhyme

You ruddy great big pair of flirts

Kiss real soon

I'll be over the moon

If not i'll kick where it hurts!

GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO :-6

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 4:18 pm

Abbey, you've missed quite a lot,

We've already gotten quite hot,

That 4rum has power,

He's GREAT in the shower,

He knows how to find my G-spot!!:yh_blush

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 4:52 pm

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Abbey!!!... great to see you're back... front... top... bottom... oh yeah like bottoms !!!:D

Sweet Abbey's wit is a gift

Sure gives the ol' thread a lift

But watch that monkey!

He's naughty an' spunky

Careful or you may get "stiffed" :yh_monkey

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:24 am

4rum wrote: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Abbey!!!... great to see you're back... front... top... bottom... oh yeah like bottoms !!!:D

Sweet Abbey's wit is a gift

Sure gives the ol' thread a lift

But watch that monkey!

He's naughty an' spunky

Careful or you may get "stiffed" :yh_monkey

By Monkey you'd surely get "stiffed."

That or you could be sniffed!

That Monkey is vile,

And just full of guile,

I hope you can run really swift!!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 7:12 am

I can run just as fast as i like

But i'd rather just get on my bike

But Monkey can run

As quick as a gun

I'd rather just stop and invite.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:01 am

Dear Abbey,

If you invite Monkey to ride,

Be sure you're not too close beside,

He's horny as hell,

And he'd ride you as well,

His "manners" are known worldwide!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:13 am

Samantha wrote: Dear Abbey,

If you invite Monkey to ride,

Be sure you're not too close beside,

He's horny as hell,

And he'd ride you as well,

His "manners" are known worldwide!:wah: :wah:

This thread i had better bow out,

As i am in serious doubt,

That i could delay,

And keep him at bay,

Instead i shall sit, watch and pout.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:58 am

Aw--Abbey please don't run away,

I'll help you keep Monkey at bay,

I'll give you a taser,

And a high powered laser,

Then far from you Monkey will stay.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:30 am

Well you can run, but you can't hide

Monkey's got Shep, on his side

A rowdy pair

I declare

Both are 'wanted' far and wide

Attached files

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:18 pm

Please make sure Shep's had his shots,

Cause diseases Monkey has lots,

He's ADD

With STDs

He must beware -l he'll catch alot!

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:23 pm

My 4rum has had a rough day,

He hasn't had time to play,

I won't be remiss,

I'll blow him a kiss,

I send you some yakutakay!!

yummy:-4

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 11:35 am

Monkey is looking to have some fun

And he'd like to invite everyone

To come out an' play

Either night or day

Everyone's welcome, he'll bar none

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 11:52 am

Dear Monkey you've such a big heart,

Or maybe you're being a tart,

To invite everyone in,

would be a big sin,

Surely Samantha may then just depart.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:22 pm

Dear Abbey,

4rum amd Monkey aren't one,

Their different "personna" bar none,

Monkey's a brat,

No doubt of that,

But 4rum is Sam's HoneyBun!!!

(smooches sweetheart) :-4

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:48 pm

Well blow me down with a feather,

You two are really together?

You both are such fun,

It's late gotta run,

My old man wants me dressed in my leather.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:31 pm

wow abbey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmmmmmm... I LIKE the vision of leather

You two have it together

Harmonize

While I visualize

You and your regions nether

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:40 pm

Samantha wrote: Dear Abbey,

4rum amd Monkey aren't one,

Their different "personna" bar none,

Monkey's a brat,

No doubt of that,

But 4rum is Sam's HoneyBun!!!

(smooches sweetheart) :-4

:-4 Back at'cha my sizzling sweetie

You're the tops, yes indeedy

I'm infatuated

And totally elated

To cuddle when you are needy :yh_hugs

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 5:42 am

The Holy Quail is Miss Monkey's goal,

But this quest is taking it's toal,

She found something big

So now she must dig,

So far all shes' finding is coal.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:29 am

abbey wrote: Well blow me down with a feather,

You two are really together?

You both are such fun,

It's late gotta run,

My old man wants me dressed in my leather.

Dear Abbey,

My 4rum lives way down in WV,

While I reside up in old town CT,

We met at GG,

Became "close" as you see,

One day it's my hope that he'll come visit me!!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 1:54 pm

There once was a lass from Connnecticut

Whose charms she kept wrapped in her petticoat

Til along came a man

With a slow roving hand

Now where is Connecticut's etiquette?

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:16 pm

Samantha wrote: Dear Abbey,

My 4rum lives way down in WV,

While I reside up in old town CT,

We met at GG,

Became "close" as you see,

One day it's my hope that he'll come visit me!!
I'm sure that day will come soon,

If it does i'll be over the moon,

You two are such fun,

And should become one,

Dear Sam would surely just swoon.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:38 pm

4rum wrote: There once was a lass from Connnecticut

Whose charms she kept wrapped in her petticoat

Til along came a man

With a slow roving hand

Now where is Connecticut's etiquette?

Dear 4rum. . . .Two can play at this game!!

A gent went in search of some etiquette

His path took him straight to Connecticut

A sweet lass he found

Who did not mess around

So now the poor gent needs a tourniquet

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:42 pm

abbey wrote: I'm sure that day will come soon,

If it does i'll be over the moon,

You two are such fun,

And should become one,

Dear Sam would surely just swoon

/smilies/obm.gif[/IMG][/URL]

I think that we both would swoon,

Then ya think we could spoon?

I know what he likes,

That includes yikes,

It'd put me right over the moon.

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 5:12 pm

abbey wrote: I'm sure that day will come soon,

If it does i'll be over the moon,

You two are such fun,

And should become one,

Dear Sam would surely just swoon.

Mizz abbey, you're so very right

I'd swoon at Samantha's first sight

More than a pal

She's an awesome gal

Funny, witty and bright:yh_flower

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:48 am

Miss Monkey returned from her quest,

She brought back the "quail" and her nest,

Will she lay eggs of gold,

Which then can be sold,

She'll put that bird to the test!

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:57 am

A lusty ol' limerist I seek,

Into his world I would peek,

If one I do find,

I hope he won't mind,

If I give him a kiss on the "cheek."

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:04 pm

If it's THIS auldphart's cheek you'd be kissin'

Then a tear in this eye might just glisten

The lust is still there

But it can't compare

With the heart full of hugs you've been missin' :yh_hugs

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:45 pm

a lusting we will gooooooooooo

a lusting we will goooooooooooo

High hoe the . . . . what the hell's a derrio?

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:48 pm

4rum wrote: If it's THIS auldphart's cheek you'd be kissin'

Then a tear in this eye might just glisten

The lust is still there

But it can't compare

With the heart full of hugs you've been missin' :yh_hugs

I'll take those hugs auldphart!

You know you have my heart!

I'm glad we met

And you can bet

That I will not depart

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:57 pm

Dear dear 4rum. . . .

While we have been busy a-lusting,

That Monkey's been really disgusting,

He's lighting blue darts,

From his infamous farts,

And dancing with much pelvic thrusting!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:37 pm

You're on a roll tonight Sam! :wah:

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:17 pm

Samantha wrote: Dear dear 4rum. . . .

While we have been busy a-lusting,

That Monkey's been really disgusting,

He's lighting blue darts,

From his infamous farts,

And dancing with much pelvic thrusting!

To make things even more gaseous

To increase the volume so masseous

The pressure he'll bump

With a bicycle pump

Then light his little asseous....................... BA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Houston.... we have a problem

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:26 pm

Samantha wrote: a lusting we will gooooooooooo

a lusting we will goooooooooooo

High hoe the . . . . what the hell's a derrio?

Don't know 'bout derrio, just care 'bout derriere

Like 'em ripe, round and 'specially bare

Then I hope

To fondle an' grope

This auldphart is on a tear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:yh_devil

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:42 pm

Samantha wrote: a lusting we will gooooooooooo

a lusting we will goooooooooooo

High hoe the . . . . what the hell's a derrio?

Actually it's ... Heigh-ho the dairy-o ... and it's taken from The Farmer In The Dell. This gives 'dairy-o' more meaning. Unless you're Dick Cheney, then you may use the two quite interchangebly.

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:02 am

4rum wrote: To make things even more gaseous

To increase the volume so masseous

The pressure he'll bump

With a bicycle pump

Then light his little asseous....................... BA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Houston.... we have a problem

Alas poooor Monkey, I knew him well,

His lighted fart, blew him clear to hell.

With his ass in a sling, in his hospital bed,

The staff rallies round, full of fear and of dread.

The twins sit aside, and stiffle a giggle,

While Miss M teases him, her boobs all a jiggle.

He grunts and he groans and he mutters in pain,

"Get well I WILL!! I will party again!!"

As days go by, a great healing takes place,

And Monkey recovers, He's back in the race.

So here is a warning, you best go and hide,

For Monkey is looking, for something to ride!

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:51 am

Samantha wrote: Alas poooor Monkey, I knew him well,

His lighted fart, blew him clear to hell.

With his ass in a sling, in his hospital bed,

The staff rallies round, full of fear and of dread.

The twins sit aside, and stiffle a giggle,

While Miss M teases him, her boobs all a jiggle.

He grunts and he groans and he mutters in pain,

"Get well I WILL!! I will party again!!"

As days go by, a great healing takes place,

And Monkey recovers, He's back in the race.

So here is a warning, you best go and hide,

For Monkey is looking, for something to ride!

Hey FG... check it... now that is some creative writing... I love it!!!:yh_rotfl

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:58 pm

4rum wrote: Hey FG... check it... now that is some creative writing... I love it!!!:yh_rotfl

4rum sweetheart. . . I do NOT understand this message!!! (Maybe I had too much blonde put in my hair this morning) :-4

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:30 pm

Samantha wrote: 4rum sweetheart. . . I do NOT understand this message!!! (Maybe I had too much blonde put in my hair this morning) :-4

Dear Samantha;

Since there are presently over 5000 hits to this thread, I was PROUDLY calling attention to the good humor, wit and creativity that YOU exhibited. This nonsense is fun... it is more fun with your participation. (And your hair is fine dear).

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:16 pm

Ok, I understand now. . .

I believe you're up. . . . (snicker)

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:32 am

Samantha wrote: Ok, I understand now. . .

I believe you're up. . . . (snicker)

You would be the first to know... (chortle).

4rum · Post by **4rum** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:59 am

Our sex starved simian is healed at last

He called up an old flame from back in his past

But as monkey rocked

She went off half cocked

But monkey don't do things half assed

He whispered some words in her ear

She instantly perked up, little dear

He promised her spasms

Multiple orgasms

And a hot tub filled with cold beer