Fathers Day

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:38 am

Sooooo we have fathers day coming up.... I am sure this is the toughtest monumental day on the planet!!!

Why you ask? Because so many children have grown up without fathers, have more step fathers than step mothers, have absent fathers, etc. I pity the children who are torn about their fathers.... this leads me to my dilema.

It seems rather awkward but here it goes.

My children demand $$ from their father for mothers day gifts. To his credit, he gives generously (mothers day includes my birthday as well) The girls enjoy this occasion.

So now with fathers day approaching, they really do not want to bother doing anything about their father. They have told me if they want to get anything for him they will ask his new wife for money and look after it themselves. And what this really means is they will likely do nothing. I can understand their point, they think the wife should be the one responsible for all the kids in looking after this. On the fairness side, I feel obligated to encourage them to do something which means $$ from me for him though between my girls and me we have very little to do with him anymore. Awkward to explain.

So what shall I do, push them into buying him something? Or leave it and let them decide? Remember my girls are 15 and 19.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:53 am

This is a toughie. Your girls are getting to where they should make

the decision for themselves... then again, it can be hurtful if they

don't do anything.

Is there a way to do something that doesn't involve $$$?

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:55 am

valerie wrote: This is a toughie. Your girls are getting to where they should make

the decision for themselves... then again, it can be hurtful if they

don't do anything.

Is there a way to do something that doesn't involve $$$?

Well perhaps they could suck it up and offer to go over to his house together and cook him a dinner. Maybe that would work.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 8:33 am

Minks, that sounds like a good idea. Do they truly want to spend time with him?

Of course, a nice card from daughters to father could be quite valuable to him. I don't know if he's been a good dad to the girls, and that would certainly come into play in this situation.

I think it's nice that you would like them to acknowledge him in some way. You are a good ex-wife!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:38 am

Well Minks, I always send the cards with a gift certificate for something their dad would like. I have always done this-just last week he forgot our son's birthday, didn't send a card or call. We all know this is the way it is. But we send him a card, and a little gift, so they know and he knows too.

It is a sticky dilema for you. You are too sweet, but that's why we love you!

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:51 am

chonsigirl wrote: You are too sweet, but that's why we love you!

Chons, it sounds like you were cut from the same mold:)