A famous magazine photographer was dispatched to a famous haunted house to get shots of the apparition residing there.
In the haunted house, when the clock struck 12 midnite, the apparition appeared on the staircase landing. Amazingly, the apparition posed (like a supermodel) for the photographer!
But lighting was very bad at the moment and the camera flash batteries were low. Anyway, the photograher snapped away. But the pictures did not come out well because of the low batteries.
He later explained to his boss at the magazine..................................
(wait for it)..........................................................
"The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak."
:-5 :wah:
*groan*
*groan*
A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped.
The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate.
A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully.
The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium.
It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.
:-5 :wah:
The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate.
A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully.
The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium.
It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.
:-5 :wah:
*groan*
The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree.
He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power.
This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power.
This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
*groan*
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus
in front of the office, ready to show it off to his
colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too
close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's
door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to
see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his
lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to
ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming
hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just
picked up the day before, was now completely ruined
and would never be the same, no matter how the body
shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the
cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't
believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you
neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your
left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck
hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.
"MY ROLEX!"
in front of the office, ready to show it off to his
colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too
close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's
door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to
see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his
lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to
ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming
hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just
picked up the day before, was now completely ruined
and would never be the same, no matter how the body
shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the
cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't
believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you
neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your
left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck
hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.
"MY ROLEX!"
*groan*
I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my golden retriever had plenty of fresh air.
The dog was stretched out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now, you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noticing I was blonde, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park"?
The dog was stretched out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now, you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noticing I was blonde, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park"?
