hi.. I am a new member.. I am new to all this so please be patient.. I am not even sure if this is the right site to be on.. I have been searching for group discussion sites where i can find help, understanding. and just a shoulder really..
I lost my 21 yr old son Bradley last month to heroin, he had recently moved out of my home and was about to set up a flat which he had been given... he had been living in a hostel previous to this..which is where he was introduced to heroin... he was only a new user and had only been injecting a couple of weeks, but he had come off it for 4 weeks and nobody is quite sure as yet if the batch was dodgy or he deliberately took an overdose as a suicide letter was in his flat.. but he hadnt written it on the day of his death as the pen was at my house... im hoping he only wrote the letter when he was coming off the heroin and was at a particularly low point.. i hope and pray he didnt commit suicide as the letter said he could face living the life he had been lately any more.. it was totally heartbreaking as i am sure many will imagine..nobody expects to lose their children before themselves... so really what i am looking for is maybe someone who has lost someone to heroin or suicide as even if he didnt commit suicide this time he had tried in the past and was obviously feeling suicidal... Thanks and sorry if i have come through on the wrong site.. take care ..Sharon
death by heroin
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
Sharon, i am so sorry for your loss you must be devistated,
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
death by heroin
Sharon, first off, don't apologize for coming to this site to seek help, support, information, or whatever else it is you need. This is a general discussion forum, where pretty much any topic is acceptable.
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
death by heroin
Sharon, My heart goes out to you. You are living every mothers nightmare,and there isnt anything more painful on this earth, than what has happened to you. As Baby Rider told you.. this forum is for every topic,and it is a very out of the ordinary place. You might find solace here as you take one day at a time trying to cope with your loss. We would be most willing to try to help, Having walked in the shoes of a mother watching her young son ride the drug train, it sound to me like your sons death was accidental. My son is also 21, and he writes. Ive read material hes written, when high, and he has often spoken of not wanting to live. He too has been homeless.
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
death by heroin
Jesus wept, Sharon, it would be so easy to click on past knowing there are other people better able to deal with your post. What else does life have left to hit someone with if they've had to find a way of coping with all that in just the last few months?
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: Sharon, i am so sorry for your loss you must be devistated,
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
Hi.. Thanks for your reply.. Yes I am from uk.. I thought this was a uk site.. I had just typed in group discussions uk.. and this came up..so thought it was uk... I dont mind though as I know all walks of life have been affected by what I am going through now... I went to see my ex husband today and he has told me to go to a doctor... i will ring up tomorrow and make an appointment... it was only 5 weeks ago that he died.. so still very very fresh and very raw... thanks for the support.. sharon xx
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
Hi.. Thanks for your reply.. Yes I am from uk.. I thought this was a uk site.. I had just typed in group discussions uk.. and this came up..so thought it was uk... I dont mind though as I know all walks of life have been affected by what I am going through now... I went to see my ex husband today and he has told me to go to a doctor... i will ring up tomorrow and make an appointment... it was only 5 weeks ago that he died.. so still very very fresh and very raw... thanks for the support.. sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
BabyRider wrote: Sharon, first off, don't apologize for coming to this site to seek help, support, information, or whatever else it is you need. This is a general discussion forum, where pretty much any topic is acceptable.
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
Hi BR.. Thanks for your reply... I was told at the time of his death that it will take about 4 months for the inquest... so I will know then just exactly how much was in his system... i have been told the death wasnt natural causes which i knew pretty much anyway.. just have to wait for another 3 mnths for the outcome... I get his ashes tomorrow which is going to be painfully hard.. but I have my other son here with me so he will come too... he is in the british army.. he was in iraq when it happened.. the army were really good and pulled him out and didnt need him to go back... made all the difference to me... he has also been here since it happened... he will be going back to germany soon but will be posted to Ireland in july... which will be nice as he will be closer then... only an hour on a plane... oops babbling here.. thanks again for your support.. take care.. sharon xx
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
Hi BR.. Thanks for your reply... I was told at the time of his death that it will take about 4 months for the inquest... so I will know then just exactly how much was in his system... i have been told the death wasnt natural causes which i knew pretty much anyway.. just have to wait for another 3 mnths for the outcome... I get his ashes tomorrow which is going to be painfully hard.. but I have my other son here with me so he will come too... he is in the british army.. he was in iraq when it happened.. the army were really good and pulled him out and didnt need him to go back... made all the difference to me... he has also been here since it happened... he will be going back to germany soon but will be posted to Ireland in july... which will be nice as he will be closer then... only an hour on a plane... oops babbling here.. thanks again for your support.. take care.. sharon xx
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chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
death by heroin
Sharon, I'm glad you are going tomorrow. That is a horrible loss for you, and it is hard to deal with. I do not know how I would feel if it was one of my own children. I'm thinking of you.
:)
:)
death by heroin
Sharon, my brother died 8 years ago and sad to say, my mum has never got over it,
she's just learned to live with it,
i'm sure the doctor will be able to help you as it always helps talking about it.
Stick around here, we have some fine folk from all walks of life that will share and talk of their experiences.
Take care x
she's just learned to live with it,
i'm sure the doctor will be able to help you as it always helps talking about it.
Stick around here, we have some fine folk from all walks of life that will share and talk of their experiences.
Take care x
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
weeder wrote: Sharon, My heart goes out to you. You are living every mothers nightmare,and there isnt anything more painful on this earth, than what has happened to you. As Baby Rider told you.. this forum is for every topic,and it is a very out of the ordinary place. You might find solace here as you take one day at a time trying to cope with your loss. We would be most willing to try to help, Having walked in the shoes of a mother watching her young son ride the drug train, it sound to me like your sons death was accidental. My son is also 21, and he writes. Ive read material hes written, when high, and he has often spoken of not wanting to live. He too has been homeless.
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
Hi.. thanks very much for your kind reply... I hope and pray that he felt i gave him as much support as i could.. but as a mother i will always feel that i could have done more.,.. i wished he could have told me he was feelign suicidal.. i would have let him move back in with me... and i would have said sod the council.. one of the reasons he had to leave here as the council would take £40 a week from me.. I work but am single parent and could barely afford to keep me and my daughter.. my son wasnt really working.. he was working with my brother who was teaching him a trade so he didnt really get wages as such... and couldnt afford to give me £40 plus food.. but i would have made myself afford it if i knew he was feeling the way he was... i am so glad your son is ok and is writing... does your son live with you? I never really talked to my son about heroin.. i suppose i buried my head in the sand and hoped it would go away, which is the totally wrong thing to do and for that i feel so guilty too.. when the side effects were showing after 4 weeks of being clean i just thought he was itching because he had been doing his flat up and had been hot and sweaty and he needed a bath.. and i thought he was being sick because he was paranoid about his weight as he did worry... not that he was overweight at all.. i found out last yr that my ex husband used to taunt him over his weight as he was quite a podgy teenager.. nothing too bad at all. he was just carrying puppy fat.. my ex used to taunt him and call him a fat twat and flick his nipples and tell him he had man tits.. my son only told me this last year after breaking down crying one day asking me to sort a doctor out for him to refer him for counselling.. which he did do but he didnt see it through as he said once he had told me he felt better about it anyway.. but i knew he hated the thought of being chubby again.. he was quite thin when he died but he still thought of himself as fat.. i used to think he suffered from bulimia... but obviously it was the heroin also... if only i had did some research on it then and then i could have spotted the signs and helped him... thatns for the support.. take care.. love to you and your son.. sharon xx
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
Hi.. thanks very much for your kind reply... I hope and pray that he felt i gave him as much support as i could.. but as a mother i will always feel that i could have done more.,.. i wished he could have told me he was feelign suicidal.. i would have let him move back in with me... and i would have said sod the council.. one of the reasons he had to leave here as the council would take £40 a week from me.. I work but am single parent and could barely afford to keep me and my daughter.. my son wasnt really working.. he was working with my brother who was teaching him a trade so he didnt really get wages as such... and couldnt afford to give me £40 plus food.. but i would have made myself afford it if i knew he was feeling the way he was... i am so glad your son is ok and is writing... does your son live with you? I never really talked to my son about heroin.. i suppose i buried my head in the sand and hoped it would go away, which is the totally wrong thing to do and for that i feel so guilty too.. when the side effects were showing after 4 weeks of being clean i just thought he was itching because he had been doing his flat up and had been hot and sweaty and he needed a bath.. and i thought he was being sick because he was paranoid about his weight as he did worry... not that he was overweight at all.. i found out last yr that my ex husband used to taunt him over his weight as he was quite a podgy teenager.. nothing too bad at all. he was just carrying puppy fat.. my ex used to taunt him and call him a fat twat and flick his nipples and tell him he had man tits.. my son only told me this last year after breaking down crying one day asking me to sort a doctor out for him to refer him for counselling.. which he did do but he didnt see it through as he said once he had told me he felt better about it anyway.. but i knew he hated the thought of being chubby again.. he was quite thin when he died but he still thought of himself as fat.. i used to think he suffered from bulimia... but obviously it was the heroin also... if only i had did some research on it then and then i could have spotted the signs and helped him... thatns for the support.. take care.. love to you and your son.. sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
spot wrote: Jesus wept, Sharon, it would be so easy to click on past knowing there are other people better able to deal with your post. What else does life have left to hit someone with if they've had to find a way of coping with all that in just the last few months?
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Thankyou for your kind reply...
Bradley died 10th april... well he died on the 7th the police are sure but he was found on the 10th so its only been a few short weeks.. feels like the longest of my life.. my family seem to be comping not too bad.. although they dont really tell me as they dont want to add extra burdens to me as they know im finding it difficult to come to terms with.... my 10 yr old daughter just wants to sit in her room and listen to the songs that were played at the funeral and cry's... whe n i realise she is doing that i will go and lay on her bed with her and just hold her hand... and sometimes we will both cry together.. but her school is very good at dealing with grief.. they are keeping a close eye on her.. and will let me know if they feel her work or behavoiur has changed.. her school is only small so she is lucky in that sense that they can keep an eye on her.. i am so glad she isnt moving up to high school this yr... she will be moving up next summer...
my eldest son is in the army... he was very close to his brother...he is finding it quite hard but he has a good friend in the army whos brother is addicted to heroin so he has someone who understands and talks to him.. which i am glad about as he doesnt really talk to me much about it.. i think he finds it hard to see me crying and in so much pain all the time.. my mum is in a lot of pain.. but i dont have that good a relationship with her and find it hard to let her comfort me.... so we sort of keep a bit of distance.. she is so opinioated and says things which she doesnt think before she speaks and it hurts me a lot.. im sure she doesnt mean to hurt me but it does all the same... my son stole money from me in the week leading up to his death.. it was the 1st time he had ever done that and i know he would have felt so guilty for doing so.. my mum when i told her .. she said no sharon... they dont care... they only care about their next fix.. and it hurt me to the core.. as i know just because my son was addicted to heroin.. he cared very much for me and his brother and sister and would protect us to the hilt... nothing was too good for us in his eyes....so i try not to say too much to my mum because like i say she is too opinioated and doesnt even understand much of it... I have a big family... 2 brothers and 3 sisters... one of my brothers has been married for 20 years... and has 2 children... he came out a couple of days after the funeral that he was gay.. he said the death of his nephew made him realise life was too short... i felt so proud of him and also so sad for him having to feel that he had to live a lie most of his life... and the reason for him having to live that lie was because of my mothers opinions... when he came out all she could do was say how disgusted etc she was but he was still her son and she still loves him... we are all grieving for them also as their beautiful family is about to split.. we dont need to listen to our mum harp on about how she feels.. maybe i am wrong to feel that way about my mum aswe all have our own feelings about things.. but i have never had a close bond with my mum... so its quite hard... anyway sorry have babbled on.. thanks for the support.. take care.. Sharon xx
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Thankyou for your kind reply...
Bradley died 10th april... well he died on the 7th the police are sure but he was found on the 10th so its only been a few short weeks.. feels like the longest of my life.. my family seem to be comping not too bad.. although they dont really tell me as they dont want to add extra burdens to me as they know im finding it difficult to come to terms with.... my 10 yr old daughter just wants to sit in her room and listen to the songs that were played at the funeral and cry's... whe n i realise she is doing that i will go and lay on her bed with her and just hold her hand... and sometimes we will both cry together.. but her school is very good at dealing with grief.. they are keeping a close eye on her.. and will let me know if they feel her work or behavoiur has changed.. her school is only small so she is lucky in that sense that they can keep an eye on her.. i am so glad she isnt moving up to high school this yr... she will be moving up next summer...
my eldest son is in the army... he was very close to his brother...he is finding it quite hard but he has a good friend in the army whos brother is addicted to heroin so he has someone who understands and talks to him.. which i am glad about as he doesnt really talk to me much about it.. i think he finds it hard to see me crying and in so much pain all the time.. my mum is in a lot of pain.. but i dont have that good a relationship with her and find it hard to let her comfort me.... so we sort of keep a bit of distance.. she is so opinioated and says things which she doesnt think before she speaks and it hurts me a lot.. im sure she doesnt mean to hurt me but it does all the same... my son stole money from me in the week leading up to his death.. it was the 1st time he had ever done that and i know he would have felt so guilty for doing so.. my mum when i told her .. she said no sharon... they dont care... they only care about their next fix.. and it hurt me to the core.. as i know just because my son was addicted to heroin.. he cared very much for me and his brother and sister and would protect us to the hilt... nothing was too good for us in his eyes....so i try not to say too much to my mum because like i say she is too opinioated and doesnt even understand much of it... I have a big family... 2 brothers and 3 sisters... one of my brothers has been married for 20 years... and has 2 children... he came out a couple of days after the funeral that he was gay.. he said the death of his nephew made him realise life was too short... i felt so proud of him and also so sad for him having to feel that he had to live a lie most of his life... and the reason for him having to live that lie was because of my mothers opinions... when he came out all she could do was say how disgusted etc she was but he was still her son and she still loves him... we are all grieving for them also as their beautiful family is about to split.. we dont need to listen to our mum harp on about how she feels.. maybe i am wrong to feel that way about my mum aswe all have our own feelings about things.. but i have never had a close bond with my mum... so its quite hard... anyway sorry have babbled on.. thanks for the support.. take care.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
chonsigirl wrote: Sharon, I'm glad you are going tomorrow. That is a horrible loss for you, and it is hard to deal with. I do not know how I would feel if it was one of my own children. I'm thinking of you.
:)
Thanks for your support... I will let you know how it goes with the doc.. i am not sure i will even get an appt but i will ask for an emergency one... take care.. Sharon xx
:)
Thanks for your support... I will let you know how it goes with the doc.. i am not sure i will even get an appt but i will ask for an emergency one... take care.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: Sharon, my brother died 8 years ago and sad to say, my mum has never got over it,
she's just learned to live with it,
i'm sure the doctor will be able to help you as it always helps talking about it.
Stick around here, we have some fine folk from all walks of life that will share and talk of their experiences.
Take care x
hi thanks for the reply... I am so sorry to hear of your brothers death.. may i ask how it happened and how old was he? I know I will never get over the loss of his life... ever.. but i also know I will one day come to terms as i have so much love and support around me... and i have to for the sake of my other 2 children... do you have any other brothers or sisters? it truly is the hardest thing ever to happen to any parent... i almost lost my 10 yr old daughter 5 yrs ago while living in cyprus.. a rip tide took her and she almost drowned.. she was brought out of the sea unconcious and i watched it all happen... we didnt know for 12 hours if she had lived and then another 24 hours to know if she was brain damaged.. i thought nothing could ever be as bad as that was.. but life has proved me wrong.. i just hope this is truly the worst i have to go through in my life because the pain is just so unbearable... it is still early weeks tho... so I know what I am feeling is totally normal... still doesnt heal my pain though.. take care and god bless you and your mum... Sharon xx
she's just learned to live with it,
i'm sure the doctor will be able to help you as it always helps talking about it.
Stick around here, we have some fine folk from all walks of life that will share and talk of their experiences.
Take care x
hi thanks for the reply... I am so sorry to hear of your brothers death.. may i ask how it happened and how old was he? I know I will never get over the loss of his life... ever.. but i also know I will one day come to terms as i have so much love and support around me... and i have to for the sake of my other 2 children... do you have any other brothers or sisters? it truly is the hardest thing ever to happen to any parent... i almost lost my 10 yr old daughter 5 yrs ago while living in cyprus.. a rip tide took her and she almost drowned.. she was brought out of the sea unconcious and i watched it all happen... we didnt know for 12 hours if she had lived and then another 24 hours to know if she was brain damaged.. i thought nothing could ever be as bad as that was.. but life has proved me wrong.. i just hope this is truly the worst i have to go through in my life because the pain is just so unbearable... it is still early weeks tho... so I know what I am feeling is totally normal... still doesnt heal my pain though.. take care and god bless you and your mum... Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
ArnoldLayne wrote: Sharon, if nothing else, this might be good place to help you fill your mind with other things when times are difficult. We are a friendly, well established and international forum with plenty of topics to discuss and even a games room. Feel free to come and visit at any time there are plenty of people here on line at most times of the day
I am new to all this but games sound great.. i love playing literati on yahoo and pool... are there games like that here? it is what is needed in the early hours of the morning when i just cant sleep and the mind races beyond all reason... thanks again.. take care.. Sharon xx
I am new to all this but games sound great.. i love playing literati on yahoo and pool... are there games like that here? it is what is needed in the early hours of the morning when i just cant sleep and the mind races beyond all reason... thanks again.. take care.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
spot wrote: Jesus wept, Sharon, it would be so easy to click on past knowing there are other people better able to deal with your post. What else does life have left to hit someone with if they've had to find a way of coping with all that in just the last few months?
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Hi again.. i cant see a past site to look at.. sorry if im being stupid here but did you mean there is a past site that people can look at? thanks.. sharon xx
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
Hi again.. i cant see a past site to look at.. sorry if im being stupid here but did you mean there is a past site that people can look at? thanks.. sharon xx
death by heroin
I've only just joined this forum. I feel so much for you. For what it is worth, all the best.
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
hi... i have just looked at the replies I have sent and i have replied to each one....it is showing that i have only replied to a couple.. so i am not sure if i am doing this right! sorry to all those if it is showing that i havtn replied.. but i assure everyone who sends me a message that i will reply to all.. thanks again.. take care all.. hugs to all who need them.. sharon xx
death by heroin
sharon1960 wrote: hi thanks for the reply... I am so sorry to hear of your brothers death.. may i ask how it happened and how old was he? I know I will never get over the loss of his life... ever.. but i also know I will one day come to terms as i have so much love and support around me... and i have to for the sake of my other 2 children... do you have any other brothers or sisters? it truly is the hardest thing ever to happen to any parent... i almost lost my 10 yr old daughter 5 yrs ago while living in cyprus.. a rip tide took her and she almost drowned.. she was brought out of the sea unconcious and i watched it all happen... we didnt know for 12 hours if she had lived and then another 24 hours to know if she was brain damaged.. i thought nothing could ever be as bad as that was.. but life has proved me wrong.. i just hope this is truly the worst i have to go through in my life because the pain is just so unbearable... it is still early weeks tho... so I know what I am feeling is totally normal... still doesnt heal my pain though.. take care and god bless you and your mum... Sharon xxMy brother died of cancer, he was 42, the problem was and is, my mum forgot she has 6 other children,
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener.
Just googled and found this link, it may help x
http://groups.msn.com/bereavement/_home ... rket=en-gb
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener.
Just googled and found this link, it may help x
http://groups.msn.com/bereavement/_home ... rket=en-gb
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
JayDee wrote: I've only just joined this forum. I feel so much for you. For what it is worth, all the best.
Thanks very much for the message.. sometimes its hard to know what to say isnt it.. but knowing people are even thinking of us at this sad and tragic time means so much.. take care.. sharon xx
Thanks very much for the message.. sometimes its hard to know what to say isnt it.. but knowing people are even thinking of us at this sad and tragic time means so much.. take care.. sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: My brother died of cancer, he was 42, the problem was and is, my mum forgot she has 6 other children,
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener
Thanks for the lovely reply.. I have had lots happen in my life and i am quite a strong person.. I am there for my other children... i cry in front of them but mostly at night when i am alone with my thoughs... i am still carrying on for them...and take my daughter out etc.. i do feel very tired all the time at the moment which my daughter finds quite hard as she comes in from school and im tired... but i am sure that will pass... I am very aware of my daughters needs though hun and I am sorry your mum wasnt like that... my daughter is only 10 and needs me so much now... so i wont let myself go down too hard.. which is why i have been seeking help through here and will go to my doctors... thanks a lot anyway.. you take care... hugs.. Sharon xx
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener
Thanks for the lovely reply.. I have had lots happen in my life and i am quite a strong person.. I am there for my other children... i cry in front of them but mostly at night when i am alone with my thoughs... i am still carrying on for them...and take my daughter out etc.. i do feel very tired all the time at the moment which my daughter finds quite hard as she comes in from school and im tired... but i am sure that will pass... I am very aware of my daughters needs though hun and I am sorry your mum wasnt like that... my daughter is only 10 and needs me so much now... so i wont let myself go down too hard.. which is why i have been seeking help through here and will go to my doctors... thanks a lot anyway.. you take care... hugs.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: Sharon, i am so sorry for your loss you must be devistated,
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: Sharon, i am so sorry for your loss you must be devistated,
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
the loss of your child must be a terrible thing to bear and my heart goes out to you.
My neice's husband took his life last year and it was an awful time for the whole family and everyone that knew him because we all felt that we'd failed him.
I'm guessing that you are from the UK? Have you spoke to the doctor?
they will fix you up with a counsellor , its sometimes better to vent your feelings to a stranger.
Be brave Sharon, you're in my thoughts. x
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
BabyRider wrote: Sharon, first off, don't apologize for coming to this site to seek help, support, information, or whatever else it is you need. This is a general discussion forum, where pretty much any topic is acceptable.
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
Secondly, I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. I have seen many, many lives messed up, destroyed and taken by dope. I have also had many friends who have committed suicide.
I don't know a lot about heroin, I've been lucky not to have been exposed to it much. I do know that once you are in it's grip, it's near impossible to get yourself free.
If I may get personal here, is there going to be a way to find out exactly what it was that caused your son's death?
Losing a child....I cannot imagine the pain. You have my deepest sympathy. :-1
This place is like an extended family to me, and many others here as well, and I think I am safe in speaking for a lot of others when I say you are very welcome here to get whatever benefit we can give you. A lot of us have suffered through many things, and have found our Garden a great source of encouragement, support, understanding and love. I have made some very good friends here, and I'm sure you will be able to gain some benefit by being here and talking to all the diverse people, from all walks of life that we are lucky to have here. There are many wise, knowing and helpful folks here.
Keep talking. That helps. You will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive here. Stick with us a while, and see if I'm not right.
Again, you have my most sincere condolences. I hope to see you back, and soon.
Sending good vibes,
BR :yh_peace
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
weeder wrote: Sharon, My heart goes out to you. You are living every mothers nightmare,and there isnt anything more painful on this earth, than what has happened to you. As Baby Rider told you.. this forum is for every topic,and it is a very out of the ordinary place. You might find solace here as you take one day at a time trying to cope with your loss. We would be most willing to try to help, Having walked in the shoes of a mother watching her young son ride the drug train, it sound to me like your sons death was accidental. My son is also 21, and he writes. Ive read material hes written, when high, and he has often spoken of not wanting to live. He too has been homeless.
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this message.. it isnt showing as replied to? did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
Since your son was setting up his own flat, and was clean... some incident triggered his thinking hed do it one more time, and a tradgedy occured. It sounds like he had the support of his mom and that he was loved so he was fortunate. May God grant you the strength to handle your loss and our wishes for peace are sent your way.
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this message.. it isnt showing as replied to? did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
spot wrote: Jesus wept, Sharon, it would be so easy to click on past knowing there are other people better able to deal with your post. What else does life have left to hit someone with if they've had to find a way of coping with all that in just the last few months?
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
Whatever Bradley's thoughts were like in those final few days and hours, you can be sure they were refocused by the heroin more than by anything else. English Coroner's Courts have returned verdicts of accidental death rather than suicide if they judge that someone died by their own hand while the balance of their mind was disturbed. I think you can feel confident of that description. How have the rest of your family coped - are they holding together and helping each other as best they can, or has it left them isolated with what's happened?
There aren't any right sites, but this isn't the wrong one. You've started talking now, it's a huge step to have taken, don't just walk away from the thread or the people here. We're not skilled at helping anyone, but I'm sure you'll find that we'll try hard.
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
chonsigirl wrote: Sharon, I'm glad you are going tomorrow. That is a horrible loss for you, and it is hard to deal with. I do not know how I would feel if it was one of my own children. I'm thinking of you.
:)
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
:)
hi.. i am so sorry but i have replied to this meassage.. did you get it somewhere else? or did it just not go through.. sorry.. i am new to all of this.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
sharon1960 wrote: Hi again.. i cant see a past site to look at.. sorry if im being stupid here but did you mean there is a past site that people can look at? thanks.. sharon xx
I am really sick as i replied to your 1st post.. it was a long one too.. and i cant see it here... i hope you recieved it somewhere if you didnt i will try to remember what i put in it and i will reply again.. take care.. sharon xx
I am really sick as i replied to your 1st post.. it was a long one too.. and i cant see it here... i hope you recieved it somewhere if you didnt i will try to remember what i put in it and i will reply again.. take care.. sharon xx
death by heroin
sharon1960 wrote: Hi.. thanks very much for your kind reply... I hope and pray that he felt i gave him as much support as i could.. but as a mother i will always feel that i could have done more.,.. i wished he could have told me he was feelign suicidal.. i would have let him move back in with me... and i would have said sod the council.. one of the reasons he had to leave here as the council would take £40 a week from me.. I work but am single parent and could barely afford to keep me and my daughter.. my son wasnt really working.. he was working with my brother who was teaching him a trade so he didnt really get wages as such... and couldnt afford to give me £40 plus food.. but i would have made myself afford it if i knew he was feeling the way he was... i am so glad your son is ok and is writing... does your son live with you? I never really talked to my son about heroin.. i suppose i buried my head in the sand and hoped it would go away, which is the totally wrong thing to do and for that i feel so guilty too.. when the side effects were showing after 4 weeks of being clean i just thought he was itching because he had been doing his flat up and had been hot and sweaty and he needed a bath.. and i thought he was being sick because he was paranoid about his weight as he did worry... not that he was overweight at all.. i found out last yr that my ex husband used to taunt him over his weight as he was quite a podgy teenager.. nothing too bad at all. he was just carrying puppy fat.. my ex used to taunt him and call him a fat twat and flick his nipples and tell him he had man tits.. my son only told me this last year after breaking down crying one day asking me to sort a doctor out for him to refer him for counselling.. which he did do but he didnt see it through as he said once he had told me he felt better about it anyway.. but i knew he hated the thought of being chubby again.. he was quite thin when he died but he still thought of himself as fat.. i used to think he suffered from bulimia... but obviously it was the heroin also... if only i had did some research on it then and then i could have spotted the signs and helped him... thatns for the support.. take care.. love to you and your son.. sharon xx
Sharon.. Ill have to speak to you at length about my son. Yes, he is living with me. The condition I found him in when I returned to Virginia 7 months ago was indescribible. I just couldnt do the tough love thing. As far as the dad goes.. dad turned his back on the boys 15 years ago to chase a 22 year old baby. And so I relate well to the psycological abuse your ex put your son through. I have to run out the door... but I am not abandoning you. I am here for you. Ill write more to you later. Weeder
Sharon.. Ill have to speak to you at length about my son. Yes, he is living with me. The condition I found him in when I returned to Virginia 7 months ago was indescribible. I just couldnt do the tough love thing. As far as the dad goes.. dad turned his back on the boys 15 years ago to chase a 22 year old baby. And so I relate well to the psycological abuse your ex put your son through. I have to run out the door... but I am not abandoning you. I am here for you. Ill write more to you later. Weeder
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
death by heroin
Sharon hon, its ok,
i'm sure people understand you being new to FG learning to use the software can be daunting at first
but dont worry about it, you'll soon get used to it and if you're not sure about anything just shout i'm certain someone will have the answer. :-6
i'm sure people understand you being new to FG learning to use the software can be daunting at first
but dont worry about it, you'll soon get used to it and if you're not sure about anything just shout i'm certain someone will have the answer. :-6
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
ArnoldLayne wrote: Sharon, you will find two green strips at the top of the page, just beneath the Forum Garden banner. Beneath the lower one there are headings in white type, of which one reads "arcade". Simply click on that to access the arcade where you will find loads of games and loads of players to compete with
Aha.. thanks for that.. i may just come and play one night when i cant sleep.. take care.. sharon xx
Aha.. thanks for that.. i may just come and play one night when i cant sleep.. take care.. sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
weeder wrote: Sharon.. Ill have to speak to you at length about my son. Yes, he is living with me. The condition I found him in when I returned to Virginia 7 months ago was indescribible. I just couldnt do the tough love thing. As far as the dad goes.. dad turned his back on the boys 15 years ago to chase a 22 year old baby. And so I relate well to the psycological abuse your ex put your son through. I have to run out the door... but I am not abandoning you. I am here for you. Ill write more to you later. Weeder
Thanks for the mail.. I found my son a couple of years ago also and he was in such a state where he had been on drugs.. but not heroin... he was grey.. thin... very weak and undernourished.. he moved back in with me for 9 months... and he was so healthy again.. i had to do the tough love thing.. but i swear if it comes to my daughter.. i have learnt the hardest way possible and i would never be able to do it again... mind you i wouldnt have any other younger children to worry about as i did when brad was here.. take care.. chat soon.. ppl keep sending me private messages and i dont know how to turn this damn pop up blocker off!
hugs.. sharon xx
Thanks for the mail.. I found my son a couple of years ago also and he was in such a state where he had been on drugs.. but not heroin... he was grey.. thin... very weak and undernourished.. he moved back in with me for 9 months... and he was so healthy again.. i had to do the tough love thing.. but i swear if it comes to my daughter.. i have learnt the hardest way possible and i would never be able to do it again... mind you i wouldnt have any other younger children to worry about as i did when brad was here.. take care.. chat soon.. ppl keep sending me private messages and i dont know how to turn this damn pop up blocker off!
hugs.. sharon xx-
sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
abbey wrote: My brother died of cancer, he was 42, the problem was and is, my mum forgot she has 6 other children,
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener.
Just googled and found this link, it may help x
http://groups.msn.com/bereavement/_home ... rket=en-gb
thanks so much for the link.. i have joined and added it to my faves i will look at it maybe tomorrow... not long before i go to bed now and dont want it laying too heavy on my mind if you know what i mean.. thanks a lot.. take care.. Sharon xx
she still grieves terribly every day, i mourn for the mother i once had.
Please do get some help Sharon, suicide (if it was suicide) is a terribly selfish death that leaves everyone feeling so guilty that they could have done more to help and they should have known that it was going to happen.
I hope you have a caring doctor who's a good listener.
Just googled and found this link, it may help x
http://groups.msn.com/bereavement/_home ... rket=en-gb
thanks so much for the link.. i have joined and added it to my faves i will look at it maybe tomorrow... not long before i go to bed now and dont want it laying too heavy on my mind if you know what i mean.. thanks a lot.. take care.. Sharon xx
death by heroin
sharon1960 wrote: ppl keep sending me private messages and i dont know how to turn this damn pop up blocker off! hugs.. sharon xxTools / Pop-up Blocker / Pop-up Blocker Settings and add forumgarden.com to the list of allowed sites.
hugs.. sharon xxTools / Pop-up Blocker / Pop-up Blocker Settings and add forumgarden.com to the list of allowed sites.Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
sharon1960 wrote: Aha.. thanks for that.. i may just come and play one night when i cant sleep.. take care.. sharon xx
er.. do you know how i turn pop up blockers off? ppl have been sending me private messages and its saying i cant access them as pop up blocker is on.. thanks.. Sharon xx
er.. do you know how i turn pop up blockers off? ppl have been sending me private messages and its saying i cant access them as pop up blocker is on.. thanks.. Sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
spot wrote: Tools / Pop-up Blocker / Pop-up Blocker Settings and add forumgarden.com to the list of allowed sites.
hi thanks.. done that.. hope it works.. Sharon xx
hi thanks.. done that.. hope it works.. Sharon xx
death by heroin
Sharon, Noone need tell you about drug addiction. You know about drug addiction, because you have lived it through watching your sons behavior.
We should never have to make excuses for loving someone despite their faults. So that means we dont have to explain ourselves to friends, relations or even mothers or grand mothers. It seems to me that the excuse for using drugs can not fully be attributed to dissatisfaction with anything regarding home life. To me it seems that our youth today hold a very different view of life than we did years ago. They seem to have the opinion that life is hopeless and they have trouble overcoming obstacles, setting goals, and dealing with hurts that are all just a part of living. We can show someone the way, but we cant make them walk down the path, or stop them from exploring detours. What happens when we love someone with an addiction is that we can be destroyed with them because we do love them so much. The pain of being involved takes its toll on others physically, mentally, emmotionally, and spiritually. So now, the person to take care of will have to be you. You have to heal in order to be available for your other children. There is a book called The Stages of Grief, it was written by Helen Kubler Ross. You can also look up her study of this process on the internet. It might help you to understand, and deal with what you are going through, and will have to continue to go through. I would also reccomend only talking your feelings out with those who are supportive... not with anyone who might say anything that would cause you more pain. I have brought my son back from the threshold of imminent death a number of times. I am always so relieved when I see some progress. But then, I can also see his battling with wanting to go to the edge again. I cant hold his hand every single minute.. and so I live with butterflies in my stomach often... and fear is a visitor always waiting to come to my door. Hope is my oasis. I gain strength on the days I feel hopeful. All I can do or anyone can do is to share some of our reserved strength with you. Hold on Sharon, you will have to walk some terrible miles. Eventually you will walk into a clearing called peace. There you will find a place to lay your son to rest. You will be able to go on living... changed and wounded, but alive. Able to still be here for the other people in your life who love you and need you.
We should never have to make excuses for loving someone despite their faults. So that means we dont have to explain ourselves to friends, relations or even mothers or grand mothers. It seems to me that the excuse for using drugs can not fully be attributed to dissatisfaction with anything regarding home life. To me it seems that our youth today hold a very different view of life than we did years ago. They seem to have the opinion that life is hopeless and they have trouble overcoming obstacles, setting goals, and dealing with hurts that are all just a part of living. We can show someone the way, but we cant make them walk down the path, or stop them from exploring detours. What happens when we love someone with an addiction is that we can be destroyed with them because we do love them so much. The pain of being involved takes its toll on others physically, mentally, emmotionally, and spiritually. So now, the person to take care of will have to be you. You have to heal in order to be available for your other children. There is a book called The Stages of Grief, it was written by Helen Kubler Ross. You can also look up her study of this process on the internet. It might help you to understand, and deal with what you are going through, and will have to continue to go through. I would also reccomend only talking your feelings out with those who are supportive... not with anyone who might say anything that would cause you more pain. I have brought my son back from the threshold of imminent death a number of times. I am always so relieved when I see some progress. But then, I can also see his battling with wanting to go to the edge again. I cant hold his hand every single minute.. and so I live with butterflies in my stomach often... and fear is a visitor always waiting to come to my door. Hope is my oasis. I gain strength on the days I feel hopeful. All I can do or anyone can do is to share some of our reserved strength with you. Hold on Sharon, you will have to walk some terrible miles. Eventually you will walk into a clearing called peace. There you will find a place to lay your son to rest. You will be able to go on living... changed and wounded, but alive. Able to still be here for the other people in your life who love you and need you.
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
mrsK wrote: Sharon,
I am so very sorry for the loss you are enduring.
My cousin killed himself 3yrs ago as he thought he had cancer .His wife used to blame herself & wonder if she could have done something different to help him.The answer is no,he had made his mind up & after reading the note he had left nothing would have changed his mind.
He left behind two lovely children,but he was so convinced nothing/no one could help him.
I am sending you lots of hugs & thoughts as I am sure you could do with a lot of them:-4 :-4 :-4
Thank you so much for your message... i am sure though if i knew how he was feeling i could have helped him.. i would have got him tio move back in with me and not let him move into a flat on his own... anyway i cant turn back the clock now... but thanks for the message.. take care.. sharon xx
I am so very sorry for the loss you are enduring.
My cousin killed himself 3yrs ago as he thought he had cancer .His wife used to blame herself & wonder if she could have done something different to help him.The answer is no,he had made his mind up & after reading the note he had left nothing would have changed his mind.
He left behind two lovely children,but he was so convinced nothing/no one could help him.
I am sending you lots of hugs & thoughts as I am sure you could do with a lot of them:-4 :-4 :-4
Thank you so much for your message... i am sure though if i knew how he was feeling i could have helped him.. i would have got him tio move back in with me and not let him move into a flat on his own... anyway i cant turn back the clock now... but thanks for the message.. take care.. sharon xx
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sharon1960
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:18 pm
death by heroin
weeder wrote: Sharon, Noone need tell you about drug addiction. You know about drug addiction, because you have lived it through watching your sons behavior.
We should never have to make excuses for loving someone despite their faults. So that means we dont have to explain ourselves to friends, relations or even mothers or grand mothers. It seems to me that the excuse for using drugs can not fully be attributed to dissatisfaction with anything regarding home life. To me it seems that our youth today hold a very different view of life than we did years ago. They seem to have the opinion that life is hopeless and they have trouble overcoming obstacles, setting goals, and dealing with hurts that are all just a part of living. We can show someone the way, but we cant make them walk down the path, or stop them from exploring detours. What happens when we love someone with an addiction is that we can be destroyed with them because we do love them so much. The pain of being involved takes its toll on others physically, mentally, emmotionally, and spiritually. So now, the person to take care of will have to be you. You have to heal in order to be available for your other children. There is a book called The Stages of Grief, it was written by Helen Kubler Ross. You can also look up her study of this process on the internet. It might help you to understand, and deal with what you are going through, and will have to continue to go through. I would also reccomend only talking your feelings out with those who are supportive... not with anyone who might say anything that would cause you more pain. I have brought my son back from the threshold of imminent death a number of times. I am always so relieved when I see some progress. But then, I can also see his battling with wanting to go to the edge again. I cant hold his hand every single minute.. and so I live with butterflies in my stomach often... and fear is a visitor always waiting to come to my door. Hope is my oasis. I gain strength on the days I feel hopeful. All I can do or anyone can do is to share some of our reserved strength with you. Hold on Sharon, you will have to walk some terrible miles. Eventually you will walk into a clearing called peace. There you will find a place to lay your son to rest. You will be able to go on living... changed and wounded, but alive. Able to still be here for the other people in your life who love you and need you.
I just dont know what to say to your beautiful reply.. thank you so much... i am about to go to bed and thought i would come and read a few posts.. i am so glad i did... i had a hard day today.. i had to get my sons ashes.. it was the hardest thing... and i havent stopped crying since getting them in my house... I read your mail and it made me feel so much stronger and more hopeful.. thank you so much for that.. i am so so sorry that you are going through the same as i went through.. it is very hard... and nothing i can say to you will make you worry less... i know exactly what you are going through and will be here if you ever need to have a shoulder.... or just an ear... god bless you and your son... if my head wasnt hurting so much i would have put more thought and wrote a bit more but i just needed to say thanks.. Take care... hugs to you both.. sharon xx
We should never have to make excuses for loving someone despite their faults. So that means we dont have to explain ourselves to friends, relations or even mothers or grand mothers. It seems to me that the excuse for using drugs can not fully be attributed to dissatisfaction with anything regarding home life. To me it seems that our youth today hold a very different view of life than we did years ago. They seem to have the opinion that life is hopeless and they have trouble overcoming obstacles, setting goals, and dealing with hurts that are all just a part of living. We can show someone the way, but we cant make them walk down the path, or stop them from exploring detours. What happens when we love someone with an addiction is that we can be destroyed with them because we do love them so much. The pain of being involved takes its toll on others physically, mentally, emmotionally, and spiritually. So now, the person to take care of will have to be you. You have to heal in order to be available for your other children. There is a book called The Stages of Grief, it was written by Helen Kubler Ross. You can also look up her study of this process on the internet. It might help you to understand, and deal with what you are going through, and will have to continue to go through. I would also reccomend only talking your feelings out with those who are supportive... not with anyone who might say anything that would cause you more pain. I have brought my son back from the threshold of imminent death a number of times. I am always so relieved when I see some progress. But then, I can also see his battling with wanting to go to the edge again. I cant hold his hand every single minute.. and so I live with butterflies in my stomach often... and fear is a visitor always waiting to come to my door. Hope is my oasis. I gain strength on the days I feel hopeful. All I can do or anyone can do is to share some of our reserved strength with you. Hold on Sharon, you will have to walk some terrible miles. Eventually you will walk into a clearing called peace. There you will find a place to lay your son to rest. You will be able to go on living... changed and wounded, but alive. Able to still be here for the other people in your life who love you and need you.
I just dont know what to say to your beautiful reply.. thank you so much... i am about to go to bed and thought i would come and read a few posts.. i am so glad i did... i had a hard day today.. i had to get my sons ashes.. it was the hardest thing... and i havent stopped crying since getting them in my house... I read your mail and it made me feel so much stronger and more hopeful.. thank you so much for that.. i am so so sorry that you are going through the same as i went through.. it is very hard... and nothing i can say to you will make you worry less... i know exactly what you are going through and will be here if you ever need to have a shoulder.... or just an ear... god bless you and your son... if my head wasnt hurting so much i would have put more thought and wrote a bit more but i just needed to say thanks.. Take care... hugs to you both.. sharon xx