can we call a truce

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:31 pm

Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:33 pm

Tombstone wrote: Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?

hot topics requires a password

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:34 pm

Tombstone wrote: Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?

Sounds good to me. I never realised that it was for this purpose, thought it might have been for something on the saucy side.:-2

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:34 pm

Far Rider wrote:

When you feel offended, go find five others and encourage them, It's my assertion that you cannot simultaneously be offended and encourage others... one has to give.

Welcome back - shame it has to be to a madhouse

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:36 pm

Nomad wrote: BR, I thought about you all day today. I came home ready to light your ass on fire. I didnt expect this from you. In a nutshell I was going to tell you, what I think you percieve to be your strength, I percieve to be your greatest weakness. The unwillingness to bend and consider you might not be the oak you like to portray yourself as. You proved me wrong. I found more strength in your offering to the members here than anything else Ive heard from you in the almost year Ive been here. I respect you for being humble. To me, that is strength, when we learn and when we evolve and grow.

Again from my heart thank you.
Nomad, I'm sorry I deprived you of the opportunity to light my ass on fire. (Although it does sound kinky, and I do like kinky.)

When I'm wrong, I will say I'm wrong. I was hoping that the threat of being banned would not be perceived as my 180 degree turn, and apparently it hasn't been taken that way. *whew* I did mean everything I said....my eyes have been opened as to a lot of the mean things I've done here. I was also serious about someone sending me a "HEY!!!!" if I start to slip and be rude. Old habits are hard to break, but I don't want to be seen as some royal bitch. With time, those who I have been the rudest to will see that I am serious about my change of heart. And remaining friends with you is a bonus. So is proving you wrong. :yh_rotfl (Jes' kiddin'!)

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:38 pm

i just looked & see the password is there - oops

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:38 pm

buttercup wrote: hot topics requires a password

The password is 'moveon'. It's written next to it on the forums page.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:38 pm

Tombstone wrote: Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?
T, I like that, but is there any way we can have a place where unregistered members do not have access to? That way crappy stuff can be moved there and potential members will not be subjected by the unfriendly stuff. Because truce or not, there will still be conflict here, some of it ugly. (Which I will avoid like the plague.)

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:39 pm

Nomad wrote: BR, I thought about you all day today. I came home ready to light your ass on fire. I didnt expect this from you. In a nutshell I was going to tell you, what I think you percieve to be your strength, I percieve to be your greatest weakness. The unwillingness to bend and consider you might not be the oak you like to portray yourself as. You proved me wrong. I found more strength in your offering to the members here than anything else Ive heard from you in the almost year Ive been here. I respect you for being humble. To me, that is strength, when we learn and when we evolve and grow.

Again from my heart thank you.
I was going to tell her the exact same thing. That I went to bed with her on my mind last night.. and woke up thinking about her this morning. BR mom (weeder) wanted to tell you that being loyal should not mean having to stand up for something or some behavior that is unkind, out of controll or unwarranted. Those rules apply ( Im sure youll agree with parenting also) We all always say how well we know each other and how weve become friends. Friends should be able to point something out to each other and not have it be the end of the relationship. IM PROUD OF YOU.

Oh my... it almost sound like I could be married again!!!!!!!!! How frightening:wah:

SweetDarlin · Post by **SweetDarlin** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:40 pm

Tombstone wrote: Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?Once upon a time I belonged to a forum that moved all heated threads to a "special Place"

once moved there other members could watch.. but only those actually fighting could post. Personally i thought it was a sick side of our nature... but some must still feed it. So it turned out it was better to have it than to be heavy handed with administrating. that IS what it comes to to keep the masses happy.

just suggestions.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:40 pm

Tombstone wrote: Hi Everyone,

We do have a Hot Topic forum that is meant for the "idiot" threads.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/forum ... .php?f=263 (Or look under "General Forums")

Maybe the thing to do is click on the "report a post" button - and suggest that a thread that has gotten out of hand be moved there.

Thoughts on that?

I took a look and guess what...there was Nomad in the 'sin-bin !!:D

Thinking about it....it's not a bad idea...it would clear the main area of 'idiot ' threads and they could be left there in solitary confinement.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:42 pm

SweetDarlin wrote: Once upon a time I belonged to a forum that moved all heated threads to a "special Place"

once moved there other members could watch.. but only those actually fighting could post. Personally i thought it was a sick side of our nature... but some must still feed it. So it turned out it was better to have it than to be heavy handed with administrating. that IS what it comes to to keep the masses happy.

just suggestions.

Honey your already at that "special place";)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:18 pm

I came into the FG in January. I'm still very much a newbie. But I found a wonderful group of people and some real spark. I was in the process of making some amazing friends all of whom I value very much, felt a sense of commitment and belonging. Sure there were some bad moments but that's real life. Some of those friends I could cheerfully have clobbered on occasion too!!! (Probably mutual though I hope I never hurt anyone). I liked the variety of views and interactions, even when I didn't agree with the views, or the tone of the interactions. Strong personalities - and our very variety - mean there are going to be some strong clashes. And the price of freedom of speech is that sometimes people lose it and go too far. We had tough threads, in your face threads, gentle threads, humorous threads, caring and nurturing threads. We got down and dirty sometimes, but there was some intellecutal depth too, some good verbal wrassling. I have been in heavily moderated forums before and am constitutionally uncomfortable there. Everything tends to turn monochrome, even if it's in a pretty pink. Behind the scenes, I expect we are all the same flawed creatures everywhere - so there's always going to be power struggles and politics, hidden or shown. I know I'm raving on a bit - but the last few days I've been feeling depressed and distressed. For better or worse we now have two forums.. and I can't see them as 'sister churches'. The people I most want to spend time with are evenly divided - in commitment - between the two. And I just don't have the time or energy to be in two places. As well, I now feel disloyal to one lot when I'm in the other, and vice versa. I compose posts in both, then just cancel them and sit there feeling like a dreaded lurker. In a week I'll be on the road again anway, and off line, and maybe things will look clearer when I get back. Do love you all.. Really !!!!

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:25 pm

I'm still here. I just bounce around like a ball.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:32 pm

Whats the other forum? I didnt know there was another forum.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:32 pm

AussiePam wrote: , I know I'm raving on a bit - but the last few days I've been feeling depressed and distressed. For better or worse we now have two forums.. and I can't see them as 'sister churches'. The people I most want to spend time with are evenly divided - in commitment - between the two. And I just don't have the time or energy to be in two places. As well, I now feel disloyal to one lot when I'm in the other, and vice versa. I compose posts in both, then just cancel them and sit there feeling like a dreaded lurker. In a week I'll be on the road again anway, and off line, and maybe things will look clearer when I get back. Do love you all.. Really !!!!

Hi Pam....please cheer up...this isn't like you :yh_hugs Go where you feel comfortable...nobody will think you're being disloyal you silly girl.... wherever you go you're loved. Wherever you're going have fun and tell us all about it when you get back :-4

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:38 pm

Far Rider wrote: On the contrary, looks like progress to me! I'm pretty sure forums are always in transition. Like people they are a work in progress.

Appears to be settling down a bit now but I went away for the weekend and came back to chaos.

I'm off on holiday after Wednesday and who knows what I'll come back to!

Arguing the toss is one thing - personal nastiness is *not* my scene

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:52 pm

Far Rider wrote: Dont give up here, its too nice of a place to not give it your all.

smart man

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:54 pm

Far Rider wrote: Dont give up here, its too nice of a place to not give it your all.

I'm not going anywhere - there's far too much good in here to walk away and I tend not to do that anyway.

Just surprised and saddened.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:55 pm

Nomad wrote:

smart man
Glad you're still here. I mean logged on.

I am getting SO many PM's about "what the heck brought this change of heart?" and I'm thinking maybe I should post our PM exchange. I will delete your comments, if you wish, but it seems important for people to know why I have had a change of heart and how it came about. What do you think?

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:56 pm

Bryn Mawr wrote: I'm not going anywhere - there's far too much good in here to walk away and I tend not to do that anyway.

Just surprised and saddened.
Bryn, I sense good things are about to start happening in FG. Don't be saddened, be encouraged by the progress being made today.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:03 pm

BabyRider wrote: Bryn, I sense good things are about to start happening in FG. Don't be saddened, be encouraged by the progress being made today.

Last time I was here for real (other than a quick 5 minutes answering "my replies" was last Wednesday - I was shocked when I logged in tonight.

Yes, I'm encouraged by tonight's progress and hopeful, but still shocked.

Ho, hum - that's life.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:30 pm

I'm late as ususal. I'm keeping my comments to myself for now.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:43 pm

Accountable wrote: I'm late as ususal. I'm keeping my comments to myself for now.

DITTO dude.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:56 pm

Accountable wrote: I'm keeping my comments to myself for now.
Can one inquire as to why?

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:36 pm

weeder wrote: Whats the other forum? I didnt know there was another forum.

I had no idea either that there was another forum started by members of this one either. I don't get time to read every single thread that's posted, so I must have missed it.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:33 am

the title of this thread is can we call a truce, who is the truce with?

ive gone for the p.m option with the thoughts i have of late regarding the troubles :-6

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:00 am

buttercup wrote: the title of this thread is can we call a truce, who is the truce with?

ive gone for the p.m option with the thoughts i have of late regarding the troubles :-6

It was more of a CAN WE ALL CALL A TRUCE FROM NOW ON kinda thing i tryed really hard to not sound preachy but get the point across . I think what i really meant was if people are going to have arguement's and it will happen it's life then let the person's concerned get on with it and everyone else butt out putting their own fuel on the fire .We can't change anything that's already happened but we can start anew ..and the thing is people alway's forget where and how the arguement's start but by the end it's the victim that take's the blame and if someone get's banned it feel's as though the blame is set on the victim not the person who broke the rule's ..i would also like to point out i was banned over comment's i made to sheryl b and looking back sure i was pissed but it was my own fault for stooping down to this person's level it did'nt take me long to feel throughly ashamed of myself and i will try not let it happen again .

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:32 am

I wasn't aware that someone who has been banned can be re-instated.

I would be interested in peoples views on this.....

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:36 am

Tombstone & Anastrophe are co-gods, as far as Forum Garden goes. They can do whatever they want.

Maybe they should scramble our names around for a couple of days, just as a joke. I'll be Bez for awhile. :yh_bigsmi Who do you want to be?

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:39 am

I must admit now that sadly I have started to come to the stage where once I see a negative post, I actually fear in reading on, because of what might be said.

Now I think that the progression that we have all made here is fantastic, and a lot of the ideas that have come across over the last 48 hours are excellent. I'm not sure who mentioned this, but someone referred to us as a family, and I whole-heartedly agree.

Rather than taking sides or pointing fingers, we should all try our best to all look forward to the future, and work to make FG the best forum out there, so that all future members, will release that this is a wonderful place, and join in. Because otherwise, we will find ourselves arguing over everything, and more and more people will slowly disappear, and that I'm sure is something that none of us want!!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:41 am

Accountable wrote: Tombstone & Anastrophe are co-gods, as far as Forum Garden goes. They can do whatever they want.

Maybe they should scramble our names around for a couple of days, just as a joke. I'll be Bez for awhile. :yh_bigsmi Who do you want to be?

Hiya AC, I haven't seen u in a while, I hope all is well.

Hehehe oh that sounds like a great idea. Hmmmm I'd like to be Chonsi for a week.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:43 am

Bez wrote: I wasn't aware that someone who has been banned can be re-instated.

I would be interested in peoples views on this.....

im no expert on forum gardens rules but banning can be anything from hours to weeks to months to forever depending on the seriousness of offence

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:44 am

buttercup wrote: im no expert on forum gardens rules but banning can be anything from hours to weeks to months to forever depending on the seriousness of offence
we can all say thing's in the heat of the moment that we later regret

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:45 am

SnoozeControl wrote: Jeez Chris, that has to be the most divisive and argumentative post I've ever seen and I want you to know I'm highly offended.

Admin!

Ah Snooze!! Well will a hug make you feel any better??

:yh_hugs

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:47 am

Accountable wrote: Tombstone & Anastrophe are co-gods, as far as Forum Garden goes. They can do whatever they want.

Maybe they should scramble our names around for a couple of days, just as a joke. I'll be Bez for awhile. :yh_bigsmi Who do you want to be?

i'll be you :p

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:49 am

Bez wrote: I wasn't aware that someone who has been banned can be re-instated.

I would be interested in peoples views on this.....

I can't say that I was aware of this either. I'm sure that when someone is banned, that at least for a large majority, they regret what they said or did, and wish to make things right. I'm all for that, but then the problem is should this person come back will they be able to stop themselves from starting up once again, and letting old wounds re-emerge.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:57 am

Diuretic wrote: I like arguing. I don't like personal insults, flames, fighting, squabbling, smugness, close-mindedness, obfuscation and mindless repetition, but I like arguing. What's the point of joining an internet discussion forum that requires - either by formal dictate or by peer pressure - agreement? Because I disagree with you ("you" being anyone who isn't me), it doesn't mean I'm being disagreeable towards you. I've only ever learned anything by testing my previously learned assumptions and found them wanting.
I gotta say - you & Spot are probably the two most level and fair posters around when it comes to the really touchy/heated debates. Good job.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:04 am

Am i wrong in thinking arguing CAN be a good thing ..i hate /dispise public sucking up i would rather say nothing than suck up to be liked and if i do have something to say i try to do it in PM. Arguing is healthy we are all so different .. in real life there are people we would avoid like the plague and certain group's of people will connect because of a common interest like age ,hobby's sense of humour so why should this be any different, there will always be group's that other's will never feel welcome in ,to me the whole point of this is other's getting involved in argument's that really should be left to die out . For instance two thing's guaranteed to stirr people up..... the I AM LEAVING ..please beg me to stay and the I DON'T LIKE IT HERE ANYMORE..... now who's going to fight on my behalf thread's.... maybe we just need to take a deep breath and take one day at a time .

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:23 am

chrisb84uk wrote: I can't say that I was aware of this either. I'm sure that when someone is banned, that at least for a large majority, they regret what they said or did, and wish to make things right. I'm all for that, but then the problem is should this person come back will they be able to stop themselves from starting up once again, and letting old wounds re-emerge.
I think once they have been banned, they are banned. End of it. It has already caused problems here doing that, it is time to end the troubles for us all.