can we call a truce

[Betty Boop]

Bicker, Bicker, Bicker, and thats not directed at anyone!



Please guys just leave it, walk away get on your lives for ten minutes and forget that this thread even exists, it's not getting anyone anywhere!:(

[Bez]

Betty Boop wrote: Bicker, Bicker, Bicker, and thats not directed at anyone!



Please guys just leave it, walk away get on your lives for ten minutes and forget that this thread even exists, it's not getting anyone anywhere!:(


I agree. I just told someone that I thought the nastiness was over, that lessons had been learned and that all was going to be comparatively 'rosy' in the garden...I'm disappointed to be proved wrong....be nice to each other people...it doesn't cost anything and it'll make you feel good...try it...please....this is Forum Garden...not Forum Hell !

[SweetDarlin]

People are fighting? I always miss everything...but thank goodness.

I hate drama.

People.. life is too short. Enjoy each other. (Or ignore each other- whatver gets you thru the day) But don't fight. NOt worth the effort.

:-4

[Rapunzel]

DesignerGal wrote: So, were you trying to be witty and clever when you made a personal (during a discussion I was having with someone else ) attack at my present situation of trying to get pregnant? Because I believe it was painfully obvious to others that you were having a dig at "someone".

Someone meaning me.


I didn't think I was being witty or clever at all and I certainly wasn't having a 'dig' at you.

I was simply saying that you were getting yourself very angry and riled over an argument that really had nothing to do with you. It had nothing to do with me either. It was really between Jives and the Gin Blossoms website. Maybe Jives was lying. Maybe he was stretching the truth. Whatever it was, it wasn't a hanging offense and he didn't deserve a lynch mob.

Neither was I attacking your situation. Why would I? I simply said that you are in a position where you need to be calm and relaxed as that is the best way to conceive. You were so very angry it seemed as if your blood must have been very near boiling point and I was just trying to say you should calm down. It wasn't your argument or my argument. And whilst its fine to make your views known, I felt you were putting yourself at risk by not being in the best frame of mind to conceive.

Of course, its entirely up to you if you want to allow yourself to be so upset that it affects your chances of conceiving. I just thought I was helping by saying 'calm down dear, there should be other things you should be worrying about besides someone else's argument.'

I thought I was being friendly and helpful, I'm sorry if you didn't percieve it that way.

[Rapunzel]

flopstock wrote: See now... if this gets answered with anything other then 'You know you're absolutely right and I apologise here publicly for it, please forgive me' ..

we are about to head off course into another fight..



This stuff really belongs in PMs.


She did pm me and I gave pretty much the same answer I gave above.

The problem is that the anger, created by all the Jives stuff, has not gone away.

The thread was closed down but the tensions are still simmering IMO.

Everyone has valid points to make but, following all that Jives stuff, people DO feel that they're sitting on the edge of a volcano and waiting for it to blow!

I have heard SO many people say they are on the point of leaving FG, which is SUCH a shame! That's why they have all flooded to the new site, they want to get back the peace and tranquility and the fun and the laughter that they had before all this Jives stuff blew up.

Perhaps this is the point of no return for us all.

We all need to tread carefully and be very wary of NOT letting people think we mean something we don't, when tensions are running so high.

It's just down to careful wording and explaining the obvious really.

We either simmer down and enjoy each others company or we sit around a simmering volcano and keep chucking pepper in until it explodes!

[DesignerGal]

Rapunzel wrote: I didn't think I was being witty or clever at all and I certainly wasn't having a 'dig' at you.

I was simply saying that you were getting yourself very angry and riled over an argument that really had nothing to do with you. It had nothing to do with me either. It was really between Jives and the Gin Blossoms website. Maybe Jives was lying. Maybe he was stretching the truth. Whatever it was, it wasn't a hanging offense and he didn't deserve a lynch mob.

Neither was I attacking your situation. Why would I? I simply said that you are in a position where you need to be calm and relaxed as that is the best way to conceive. You were so very angry it seemed as if your blood must have been very near boiling point and I was just trying to say you should calm down. It wasn't your argument or my argument. And whilst its fine to make your views known, I felt you were putting yourself at risk by not being in the best frame of mind to conceive.

Of course, its entirely up to you if you want to allow yourself to be so upset that it affects your chances of conceiving. I just thought I was helping by saying 'calm down dear, there should be other things you should be worrying about besides someone else's argument.'

I thought I was being friendly and helpful, I'm sorry if you didn't percieve it that way.


Thank you for the clarification. It sounds much better today than I perceived it then, possibly because you were right, I was in a foul mood that night but not today. Thanks again. However, had you said: "I just thought I was helping by saying 'calm down dear, there should be other things you should be worrying about besides someone else's argument.'" I would have taken it differently I think.

[Rapunzel]

DesignerGal wrote: Thank you for the clarification. It sounds much better today than I perceived it then, possibly because you were right, I was in a foul mood that night but not today. Thanks again.


You're very welcome. I'm glad you can see now that I only had your best interests at heart.

It may interest you to know that I understand the longing for a baby. I have 2 children, but have miscarried 4, the last one was six months ago. Before that I miscarried twins when my daughter had such a severe asthma attack that she had to spend a week on a life-support machine. She was just one year old and the doctors told us she wouldn't survive the night! She did pull through, thank God, but the stress of seeing her like that, surrounded by machines and covered in tubes, not knowing if she would pull through, and then having to leave her to pop home to hug my 2 year old son who had to stay with his grandma and who didnt understand why mummy and daddy had left him, was an immense stress.

Even when she came out of intensive care there were problems. And the additional problems of needing money for expensive cafeteria food and to keep paying parking fees, etc. And then watching other people die in the Intensive Care Unit and thinking that maybe it's your turn next...........anyway, the stress was incredible and I lost the twins because of it.

So you can see why I said stress isn't a good thing at this time and should be avoided if possible.

[buttercup]

i dont know who said it but earlier in the thread there was a suggestion to remove the amount of posts members have next to thier name, i think this is a great idea, there's been a few excellent ideas today, would admin consider a poll on the views of what the members are suggesting ?

[BabyRider]

Great thread going on here.



I have been one of the biggest "problem children" in FG. I know it and a few of you who have gotten me riled know it too. Some things I take way too seriously, especially when defending myself or a friend. I will admit to pressure at home sticking in my head and being brought here to be taken out on some poor unsuspecting person who said the wrong thing at the wrong time.



I haven't read the entire thread, but I did see a really good idea. I like a suggestion that was made about an area where unregistered members cannot read. When things do get heated, they won't be put off by the bickering. We want FG to grow, not have possible members turned off by what they see going on here.

As we do grow and learn more about each other, it's just like real life relationships. You can learn more about a person and think, "Hey, this one's got their head on straight, I like them", or you can go the other way and think, "Geeze, what an idiot." Because there are so many members who come here on a daily basis, we get to know each other pretty well, and as more and more of their personality is revealed, the more we all come to conclusions about that person.



I'm not ashamed to tell you that I came within a moment of being banned yesterday. The way admin. put it to me, made me consider what I'd been doing and saying, and more importantly, WHY I'd been acting this way.



I've been mean and nasty. Not all the time, but too much. When I can't debate an issue or find the words I need to say what I want to say in a logical, rational manner, I dump on the PERSON as opposed to the debate. That's not what we're here for.



To everyone I have been so mean and rude to, (the list is too long to write here :yh_blush ) I apologize. As explanation, not excuse, I have let the pressure of my life spill over into here, and it's easier to take your frustrations out on a faceless post on the screen. Not right, but an explanation.

I get caught up in hostility and confrontation, and I need to learn to be the bigger and smarter person and let things go.

Bullet's impending trial is part of the reason I'm so tense. That still does not give me the excuse to take my frustrations out on all the good people here.

So, as I've blathered on long enough, let me just say that I'm glad Pants started this thread, and I am going to make a concerted effort to be a much nicer person here. I'm asking you guys to call me on it if I start to slip. I don't want to be banned, I love FG, and what admin told me yesterday opened my eyes. If y'all don't all completely hate me after the drama and BS yesterday, I hope you can help keep me on the "straight and narrow." I'll save my aggressive side for my real life.

[Maxi_Uno]

buttercup wrote: i dont know who said it but earlier in the thread there was a suggestion to remove the amount of posts members have next to thier name, i think this is a great idea, there's been a few excellent ideas today, would admin consider a poll on the views of what the members are suggesting ?


That is a good idea, Makes everyone 'Even Steven'.

[Bez]

Rapunzel wrote: She did pm me and I gave pretty much the same answer I gave above.



The problem is that the anger, created by all the Jives stuff, has not gone away.

The thread was closed down but the tensions are still simmering IMO.



Everyone has valid points to make but, following all that Jives stuff, people DO feel that they're sitting on the edge of a volcano and waiting for it to blow!



I have heard SO many people say they are on the point of leaving FG, which is SUCH a shame! That's why they have all flooded to the new site, they want to get back the peace and tranquility and the fun and the laughter that they had before all this Jives stuff blew up.



Perhaps this is the point of no return for us all.

We all need to tread carefully and be very wary of NOT letting people think we mean something we don't, when tensions are running so high.



It's just down to careful wording and explaining the obvious really.



We either simmer down and enjoy each others company or we sit around a simmering volcano and keep chucking pepper in until it explodes!


I feel I must jump in here...


There were problems long before as you put it 'The Jives Stuff' - and why mention it 3 times ?

By bringing up past problems you are opening up old wounds...they should be left to heal

People are not flooding to the new site...they are enjoying another option and still post regularly here

Forget the past...don't keep harping back to old hurts or we'll never move onI've just jumped back in to add somethng here....



I for one appreciate BRs post....no need for words but please accept this big :yh_hugs BR

[valerie]

Edited to add: Baby Rider's)



I think that is one of THE best posts I've EVER read on here.



:yh_clap :yh_hugs :yh_clap :yh_hugs

[Maxi_Uno]

BabyRider wrote: Great thread going on here.



I have been one of the biggest "problem children" in FG. I know it and a few of you who have gotten me riled know it too. Some things I take way too seriously, especially when defending myself or a friend. I will admit to pressure at home sticking in my head and being brought here to be taken out on some poor unsuspecting person who said the wrong thing at the wrong time.



I haven't read the entire thread, but I did see a really good idea. I like a suggestion that was made about an area where unregistered members cannot read. When things do get heated, they won't be put off by the bickering. We want FG to grow, not have possible members turned off by what they see going on here.

As we do grow and learn more about each other, it's just like real life relationships. You can learn more about a person and think, "Hey, this one's got their head on straight, I like them", or you can go the other way and think, "Geeze, what an idiot." Because there are so many members who come here on a daily basis, we get to know each other pretty well, and as more and more of their personality is revealed, the more we all come to conclusions about that person.



I'm not ashamed to tell you that I came within a moment of being banned yesterday. The way admin. put it to me, made me consider what I'd been doing and saying, and more importantly, WHY I'd been acting this way.



I've been mean and nasty. Not all the time, but too much. When I can't debate an issue or find the words I need to say what I want to say in a logical, rational manner, I dump on the PERSON as opposed to the debate. That's not what we're here for.



To everyone I have been so mean and rude to, (the list is too long to write here :yh_blush ) I apologize. As explanation, not excuse, I have let the pressure of my life spill over into here, and it's easier to take your frustrations out on a faceless post on the screen. Not right, but an explanation.

I get caught up in hostility and confrontation, and I need to learn to be the bigger and smarter person and let things go.

Bullet's impending trial is part of the reason I'm so tense. That still does not give me the excuse to take my frustrations out on all the good people here.

So, as I've blathered on long enough, let me just say that I'm glad Pants started this thread, and I am going to make a concerted effort to be a much nicer person here. I'm asking you guys to call me on it if I start to slip. I don't want to be banned, I love FG, and what admin told me yesterday opened my eyes. If y'all don't all completely hate me after the drama and BS yesterday, I hope you can help keep me on the "straight and narrow." I'll save my aggressive side for my real life.


;) sounds good!;)

[Betty Boop]

valerie wrote: Edited to add: Baby Rider's)



I think that is one of THE best posts I've EVER read on here.



:yh_hugs :yh_clap :yh_hugs


Me too, well done BR :yh_clap

[BabyRider]

buttercup wrote: i dont know who said it but earlier in the thread there was a suggestion to remove the amount of posts members have next to thier name, i think this is a great idea, there's been a few excellent ideas today, would admin consider a poll on the views of what the members are suggesting ?
Oh, I like this idea, too. We could still have our "Top posters" page, but to have our post counts right there under our screen names removed would be a wonderful thing. Less chance for competitive behavior?? I dunno...

[Maxi_Uno]

BabyRider wrote: Oh, I like this idea, too. We could still have our "Top posters" page, but to have our post counts right there under our screen names removed would be a wonderful thing. Less chance for competitive behavior?? I dunno...


Why does the number matter? Date joined should be enough.

[Nomad]

BabyRider wrote: Great thread going on here.



I have been one of the biggest "problem children" in FG. I know it and a few of you who have gotten me riled know it too. Some things I take way too seriously, especially when defending myself or a friend. I will admit to pressure at home sticking in my head and being brought here to be taken out on some poor unsuspecting person who said the wrong thing at the wrong time.



I haven't read the entire thread, but I did see a really good idea. I like a suggestion that was made about an area where unregistered members cannot read. When things do get heated, they won't be put off by the bickering. We want FG to grow, not have possible members turned off by what they see going on here.

As we do grow and learn more about each other, it's just like real life relationships. You can learn more about a person and think, "Hey, this one's got their head on straight, I like them", or you can go the other way and think, "Geeze, what an idiot." Because there are so many members who come here on a daily basis, we get to know each other pretty well, and as more and more of their personality is revealed, the more we all come to conclusions about that person.



I'm not ashamed to tell you that I came within a moment of being banned yesterday. The way admin. put it to me, made me consider what I'd been doing and saying, and more importantly, WHY I'd been acting this way.



I've been mean and nasty. Not all the time, but too much. When I can't debate an issue or find the words I need to say what I want to say in a logical, rational manner, I dump on the PERSON as opposed to the debate. That's not what we're here for.



To everyone I have been so mean and rude to, (the list is too long to write here :yh_blush ) I apologize. As explanation, not excuse, I have let the pressure of my life spill over into here, and it's easier to take your frustrations out on a faceless post on the screen. Not right, but an explanation.

I get caught up in hostility and confrontation, and I need to learn to be the bigger and smarter person and let things go.

Bullet's impending trial is part of the reason I'm so tense. That still does not give me the excuse to take my frustrations out on all the good people here.

So, as I've blathered on long enough, let me just say that I'm glad Pants started this thread, and I am going to make a concerted effort to be a much nicer person here. I'm asking you guys to call me on it if I start to slip. I don't want to be banned, I love FG, and what admin told me yesterday opened my eyes. If y'all don't all completely hate me after the drama and BS yesterday, I hope you can help keep me on the "straight and narrow." I'll save my aggressive side for my real life.




Thank you.

I respect your effort very very much.

Thank you for showing heart.

Brian

[SweetDarlin]

LC left? I'm so confused...

[chonsigirl]

And post count numbers and start date, should be options if they want them shown or not.

[SweetDarlin]

people compete over post count?

I like the number there. just saying.

[SweetDarlin]

Clipper wrote: Did LC leave too? Geez I'm gone for a lousy 2 weeks and come back to a real mess here at my favorite Forum. What gives here folks? I don't know CLip... I think we missed sumpin fer sure.

I said before (somewhere) I like just about everybody here... rarely has anyone even sad sumpin offensive...

I just dont get what all the fuss is about.

Life's too short...

*goes to pub and enjoys life with friends...

[Bez]

Clipper wrote: Did LC leave too? Geez I'm gone for a lousy 2 weeks and come back to a real mess here at my favorite Forum. What gives here folks?


It's all history Clip....we should let old wounds heal and move on with love and respect in our hearts...:-4

[BabyRider]

SweetDarlin wrote: LC left? I'm so confused...
LC has been banned, and I was next on admin's list. Yes, I'm sad my friend is gone, but (this is not snide at ALL), you don't know all the details. Unfortunately, I do, but it's not something I'm willing to post in public.

And no, there is no chance for her return.

(Admin., sorry if I'm stepping on your toes on this one.)

[Maxi_Uno]

SweetDarlin wrote: people compete over post count?



I like the number there. just saying.


Sure they do, it give some a feeling of "ownership" (for lack of better word) and what they say say carries a lot of weight, they get groupies etc.

[chonsigirl]

I think becoming a supporting member gives you more that feeling...............

I do like the post counts remaining.

And I know I don't have groupies.

[Bez]

Maxi_Uno wrote: Sure they do, it give some a feeling of "ownership" (for lack of better word) and what they say say carries a lot of weight, they get groupies etc.


Don't agree....

[OpenMind]

BR. That was a moving post. Straight from the heart, yet to the point.



I have thought a while about the issue of post counts. It's not something that has ever bothered me personally. But there's something heartwarming when a member receives praise for passing a certain number of posts.

I don't see it as a measure of someone's position on this forum. But that's my personal feeling. Obviously, it does matter to some and those it matters to should have the option of turning off the feature.

If it's not the number of posts made, then it would be the length of time someone has been a member. So, we need to keep some perspective on this particular item. We are all equal here no matter how many posts have been made or how long we have been members.

If we treat each other with due respect, and love if possible, then this forum will grow again as it was. There are still a lot of people joining regularly, so let's take heart.

A big group hug would be good.



:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

[BabyRider]

Ok, then....admin? What about the option of having your post count shown or not in your little info box on every post? Is that an option?



And by the way, there are DEFINITELY some here who think post count means something. Lots of competition about that, believe it or not.

[chonsigirl]

*big hug for all*

[BabyRider]

Hey, guys....

I'm feeling a bit humbled about things that have gone on today and yesterday, and while I appreciate that you appreciate my post, I don't deserve the accolades. Thank you for being supportive, and Nomad, I'm glad we can still remain friends. Let's just move on from here and try to get this post count thing settled. You're all embarrassing me. :yh_blush

[OpenMind]

[Tears in eyes] Thanks Chonsi.:-6



Sorry, and you Arnold.

[Maxi_Uno]

chonsigirl wrote: I think becoming a supporting member gives you more that feeling...............



I do like the post counts remaining.



And I know I don't have groupies.


you have bunnies!:)

[Nomad]

BabyRider wrote: Hey, guys....

I'm feeling a bit humbled about things that have gone on today and yesterday, and while I appreciate that you appreciate my post, I don't deserve the accolades. Thank you for being supportive, and Nomad, I'm glad we can still remain friends. Let's just move on from here and try to get this post count thing settled. You're all embarrassing me. :yh_blush




BR, I thought about you all day today. I came home ready to light your ass on fire. I didnt expect this from you. In a nutshell I was going to tell you, what I think you percieve to be your strength, I percieve to be your greatest weakness. The unwillingness to bend and consider you might not be the oak you like to portray yourself as. You proved me wrong. I found more strength in your offering to the members here than anything else Ive heard from you in the almost year Ive been here. I respect you for being humble. To me, that is strength, when we learn and when we evolve and grow.

Again from my heart thank you.

[Maxi_Uno]

Funny thing is about number of posts. People usually say they don't care about the number of post they (members) have Making it an option is good.

[Bez]

ArnoldLayne wrote: Nor do I. there are people here i consider friends and as such we look out for each other and probably spend more time conversing and sharing a joke with, than a few others


I'm just not convinced that post counts are that meaningful or joining dates for that matter.... todays newbie is tomorrows oldie...besides, sometimes when newbies spot an 'old timer' they make a b-line to them for some help or advice. It also shows new people that there is some stability here because people have stayed 'aboard' for a long time.....always a sign that it's a good place to be