My mother
My mother
My mother has now moved far away to be near my brother and his kids and wife. As he is soooo much more important than I am. She even told me before she left that she "wants a new daughter". I guess that would be my sister-in-law. I think that men are more important than women are in my mother's way of thinking. She will do whatever a male tells her to do. I tend to think that this is part of the baby-boomer's generation of thinking.:-2
I guess I am in grief over my mother going away. I don't think that she will be back to live in California again. :-1
I guess I am in grief over my mother going away. I don't think that she will be back to live in California again. :-1
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I hope she's decided she prefers rain to sunshine then, Saffron.
What sort of view do you get from your window?
What sort of view do you get from your window?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
My mother
Saffron wrote: My mother has now moved far away to be near my brother and his kids and wife. As he is soooo much more important than I am. She even told me before she left that she "wants a new daughter". I guess that would be my sister-in-law. I think that men are more important than women are in my mother's way of thinking. She will do whatever a male tells her to do. I tend to think that this is part of the baby-boomer's generation of thinking.:-2
I guess I am in grief over my mother going away. I don't think that she will be back to live in California again. :-1
I am a baby boomer... I think. Women are more important to me than men. I would love to have a lovely daughter or daughter in law. My daughters in law hate me. Please dont feel bad,, sometimes people cant see a great thing, right in front of their noses.
I guess I am in grief over my mother going away. I don't think that she will be back to live in California again. :-1
I am a baby boomer... I think. Women are more important to me than men. I would love to have a lovely daughter or daughter in law. My daughters in law hate me. Please dont feel bad,, sometimes people cant see a great thing, right in front of their noses.
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My mother
spot wrote: I hope she's decided she prefers rain to sunshine then, Saffron.
What sort of view do you get from your window?
Rain and cold, I guess is what she prefers.
TOday I called my dad and he told me my mother called him yesterday to get my address. She could not call me for it!? Very very strange. She never calls him for anything. She had my cell phone number, and she could not call me. I give up. I got 3 emails from her, and I am ignoring them all. She does not care about me any more. I have moved on with my life.
What sort of view do you get from your window?
Rain and cold, I guess is what she prefers.
TOday I called my dad and he told me my mother called him yesterday to get my address. She could not call me for it!? Very very strange. She never calls him for anything. She had my cell phone number, and she could not call me. I give up. I got 3 emails from her, and I am ignoring them all. She does not care about me any more. I have moved on with my life.
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Saffron wrote:
....She could not call me for it!? Very very strange. She never calls him for anything. She had my cell phone number, and she could not call me.
Maybe she feels too guilty or too embarased to speak to you directly.
Maybe she's too weak to make the call but needs to let you know how she feels and can only do it in writing.
I don't know, maybe I'm only making excuses but it's a big step to give up on a parent.
....She could not call me for it!? Very very strange. She never calls him for anything. She had my cell phone number, and she could not call me.
Maybe she feels too guilty or too embarased to speak to you directly.
Maybe she's too weak to make the call but needs to let you know how she feels and can only do it in writing.
I don't know, maybe I'm only making excuses but it's a big step to give up on a parent.
My mother
My son John and I didnt speak from early January until just the other day. He has issues with me. I love him very very much. My heart bleeds to hear you say some of the things you say. Our parents or our children can cause us a lot of pain. If you dont feel anything for someone..... you dont feel anything. Youll work things out eventually with your mom. Family, no matter how difficult they can be, are your flesh and blood. You will always return to try to make things right with them.
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My mother
Saffron wrote: My mother is in ireland right now! :p
So's mine. She's also thoughtless, tactless, selfish, immature and plain bloody-minded!
Are you my sister? :sneaky:
:rolleyes:
So's mine. She's also thoughtless, tactless, selfish, immature and plain bloody-minded!
Are you my sister? :sneaky:
:rolleyes:My mother
Bryn Mawr wrote: Maybe she feels too guilty or too embarased to speak to you directly.
Maybe she's too weak to make the call but needs to let you know how she feels and can only do it in writing.
I don't know, maybe I'm only making excuses but it's a big step to give up on a parent.
I tried writing to my mum. She didn't understand what I was trying to say. She took it completely the wrong way and accused me of things that weren't true.
I was VERY!!! angry and upset with her for a whole year!
She hasn't spoken to me or her grandchildren for a whole year!
Sometimes you just have to give up on a parent and let them go, in order to protect your own sanity! :-1
Maybe she's too weak to make the call but needs to let you know how she feels and can only do it in writing.
I don't know, maybe I'm only making excuses but it's a big step to give up on a parent.
I tried writing to my mum. She didn't understand what I was trying to say. She took it completely the wrong way and accused me of things that weren't true.
I was VERY!!! angry and upset with her for a whole year!
She hasn't spoken to me or her grandchildren for a whole year!
Sometimes you just have to give up on a parent and let them go, in order to protect your own sanity! :-1
My mother
Rapunzel wrote: I tried writing to my mum. She didn't understand what I was trying to say. She took it completely the wrong way and accused me of things that weren't true.
I was VERY!!! angry and upset with her for a whole year!
She hasn't spoken to me or her grandchildren for a whole year!
Sometimes you just have to give up on a parent and let them go, in order to protect your own sanity! :-1
YEs, my own father said "well let it go". He had to go through hell with her. I only wish I had been closer to him when they were still married and I had him in my life more.
I think that getting busy with my life will change things, it won't hurt so much any more. And then everything will straighten out. I have to look forward and keep on plugging along. Like my dad said. At least I still have him. He has always been there for me when my mother hasn't.
I wonder, she said in her last email that she wants to send me an Easter card. I don't need any airy-fairy cards.
I was VERY!!! angry and upset with her for a whole year!
She hasn't spoken to me or her grandchildren for a whole year!
Sometimes you just have to give up on a parent and let them go, in order to protect your own sanity! :-1
YEs, my own father said "well let it go". He had to go through hell with her. I only wish I had been closer to him when they were still married and I had him in my life more.
I think that getting busy with my life will change things, it won't hurt so much any more. And then everything will straighten out. I have to look forward and keep on plugging along. Like my dad said. At least I still have him. He has always been there for me when my mother hasn't.
I wonder, she said in her last email that she wants to send me an Easter card. I don't need any airy-fairy cards.
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Tell me to go jump in a lake if you want but first at least think of it
from my perspective: I've got a mother who turns 80 next week who
has Alzheimers and has been "gone" from me for years. How I wish I
could sit down and have a chat with her.
Saffron, so what if she wants to send you an Easter card? Take it and
say thanks. Answer her emails. Forgive her. I don't think it's too much
to ask.
Let your mothers see their grandkids. Okay, yeah, I'll say it: MAKE NICE.
Don't just perpetuate the hate. It's simply not good for you. Send that
email, make that call. Try saying "Mom, I love you". Tell her you were
just thinking about her. I think I can promise you she will be happy.
Do you guys know that once, years ago, I actually thanked my Mom for
teaching me how to tie my shoes?
Just think about what I'm saying.
from my perspective: I've got a mother who turns 80 next week who
has Alzheimers and has been "gone" from me for years. How I wish I
could sit down and have a chat with her.
Saffron, so what if she wants to send you an Easter card? Take it and
say thanks. Answer her emails. Forgive her. I don't think it's too much
to ask.
Let your mothers see their grandkids. Okay, yeah, I'll say it: MAKE NICE.
Don't just perpetuate the hate. It's simply not good for you. Send that
email, make that call. Try saying "Mom, I love you". Tell her you were
just thinking about her. I think I can promise you she will be happy.
Do you guys know that once, years ago, I actually thanked my Mom for
teaching me how to tie my shoes?
Just think about what I'm saying.
My mother
I agree with Valerie....bitterness just grows....In later life you are riddled with regrets....
Building bridges is worth the effort IMO
Building bridges is worth the effort IMO
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My mother
I disagree, she'll never be the mother you want or need and an Easter card is just a sop to her conscience. Good riddance.
My mother
Rapunzel wrote:
Are you my sister? :sneaky: :rolleyes:
No, I am
Are you my sister? :sneaky:
:rolleyes:No, I am
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
My mother
theia wrote: No, I am
Lol, how come Theia? Tell me more. I'm listening. :rolleyes: 
Lol, how come Theia? Tell me more. I'm listening. :rolleyes:
My mother
booradley wrote: I disagree, she'll never be the mother you want or need and an Easter card is just a sop to her conscience. Good riddance.
No I don't want to say good-bye. I love her. She is just the kind of person who thinks that the entire world revolves around her. Everything that happens is about her.
I do think that she gives me money because of her conscience. I always take it too. I just think that she needs to be the one to contact me, since she hung up on me without even saying anything the last time I called her on her cell. She saw my number and ended the call without even saying anything. It was hurtful, I am still hurt. It is something she will have to deal with.
No I don't want to say good-bye. I love her. She is just the kind of person who thinks that the entire world revolves around her. Everything that happens is about her.
I do think that she gives me money because of her conscience. I always take it too. I just think that she needs to be the one to contact me, since she hung up on me without even saying anything the last time I called her on her cell. She saw my number and ended the call without even saying anything. It was hurtful, I am still hurt. It is something she will have to deal with.
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The people we love and who love us frequently hurt us Saffron....we're all inperfect human beings. Text her and tell her you love her...you'll feel better...it may not have the reaction you desire, but you will have done the RIGHT thing :yh_flower
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
My mother
Rapunzel wrote: Lol, how come Theia? Tell me more. I'm listening. :rolleyes:
My mother would have preferred another son when I was born...she wasn't enamoured with having a daughter. And over the past 20 years she has had someone in her life who is, to her, the perfect daughter and all the things I'm not. I used to try and compete but I've given that up now and keep my distance. That may sound very mean, as she is in her 80s, but it was driving me crazy trying to prove to her that I was okay.
My mother would have preferred another son when I was born...she wasn't enamoured with having a daughter. And over the past 20 years she has had someone in her life who is, to her, the perfect daughter and all the things I'm not. I used to try and compete but I've given that up now and keep my distance. That may sound very mean, as she is in her 80s, but it was driving me crazy trying to prove to her that I was okay.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
My mother
Saffron wrote:
I do think that she gives me money because of her conscience. I always take it too. I just think that she needs to be the one to contact me, since she hung up on me without even saying anything the last time I called her on her cell. She saw my number and ended the call without even saying anything. It was hurtful, I am still hurt. It is something she will have to deal with.
Still trying to make excuses but are you sure it was done deliberately? Could the decline button have been knocked in her handbag without her being aware?
It's happend to me with the 'phone in my pocket - and I've made some odd calls too when the keylock's off.
Just a thought.
I do think that she gives me money because of her conscience. I always take it too. I just think that she needs to be the one to contact me, since she hung up on me without even saying anything the last time I called her on her cell. She saw my number and ended the call without even saying anything. It was hurtful, I am still hurt. It is something she will have to deal with.
Still trying to make excuses but are you sure it was done deliberately? Could the decline button have been knocked in her handbag without her being aware?
It's happend to me with the 'phone in my pocket - and I've made some odd calls too when the keylock's off.
Just a thought.
My mother
theia wrote: My mother would have preferred another son when I was born...she wasn't enamoured with having a daughter. And over the past 20 years she has had someone in her life who is, to her, the perfect daughter and all the things I'm not. I used to try and compete but I've given that up now and keep my distance. That may sound very mean, as she is in her 80s, but it was driving me crazy trying to prove to her that I was okay.
My brother was always my Mums favourite...according to my sister, i was born to 'patch up' a rocky marriage which explained a lot of things. She did her best but wasn't ever a 'loving' Mum...no cuddles...no 'I love you'...I learned to live with it but I never stopped trying to do things to gain her approval .
She died in hospital aged 86 and a few weeks after, I recieved a letter from her doctor saying that she said to him "tell my children i love them"...I waited 54 years to hear that.
My brother was always my Mums favourite...according to my sister, i was born to 'patch up' a rocky marriage which explained a lot of things. She did her best but wasn't ever a 'loving' Mum...no cuddles...no 'I love you'...I learned to live with it but I never stopped trying to do things to gain her approval .
She died in hospital aged 86 and a few weeks after, I recieved a letter from her doctor saying that she said to him "tell my children i love them"...I waited 54 years to hear that.
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My mother
Bez wrote: I recieved a letter from her doctor saying that she said to him "tell my children i love them"...I waited 54 years to hear that.
That is beautiful, Bez, thank you! I am going to see my mother tomorrow and I'm going to really try hard...not, for once, to get her approval, but just to accept her as she is...
:-4
That is beautiful, Bez, thank you! I am going to see my mother tomorrow and I'm going to really try hard...not, for once, to get her approval, but just to accept her as she is...
:-4
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
My mother
theia wrote: That is beautiful, Bez, thank you! I am going to see my mother tomorrow and I'm going to really try hard...not, for once, to get her approval, but just to accept her as she is...
:-4
My Mum and I had a strange relationship Theia, but she lived with me for 15 years and I saw her through heart atacks, hip replacements, cataracts, broken knee, broken arm the lot. Once she told me I wasn't a good daughter...I was broken hearted. When she died I took it very badly...it really surprised me....maybe I was sad for all the things we didn't say to each other.
:-4
My Mum and I had a strange relationship Theia, but she lived with me for 15 years and I saw her through heart atacks, hip replacements, cataracts, broken knee, broken arm the lot. Once she told me I wasn't a good daughter...I was broken hearted. When she died I took it very badly...it really surprised me....maybe I was sad for all the things we didn't say to each other.
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My mother
SnoozeControl wrote: This doesn't make sense to me... you were angry that she wanted to send an Easter card and didn't want to accept it, yet you say you have no qualms about taking money from her.
Yes, because I need it. She knows this too.
Yes, because I need it. She knows this too.
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Bez wrote: My Mum and I had a strange relationship Theia, but she lived with me for 15 years and I saw her through heart atacks, hip replacements, cataracts, broken knee, broken arm the lot. Once she told me I wasn't a good daughter...I was broken hearted. When she died I took it very badly...it really surprised me....maybe I was sad for all the things we didn't say to each other.
Bez, I think it can be hard for daughters sometimes...my brother has always been the favourite, like yours. But look at everything you gave to your mother..that is incredible, and heartwarming. I think our mothers know that we love them and I think they love us, deep down...it's just that other things get horribly in the way
:-4
Bez, I think it can be hard for daughters sometimes...my brother has always been the favourite, like yours. But look at everything you gave to your mother..that is incredible, and heartwarming. I think our mothers know that we love them and I think they love us, deep down...it's just that other things get horribly in the way
:-4
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
My mother
She called me today to see how I am doing. First she called my friend at the church and asked him if I'm okay, then he told her where I was. She didn't call me. So i called her as i was stuck at a RR crossing in my car.
We had a nice conversation. she also said that my "friend" seems to be a very nice person. I was surprised. So maybe things are looking up for me.
I supposed to be starting a new temp assignment at a hospital this Monday.
We had a nice conversation. she also said that my "friend" seems to be a very nice person. I was surprised. So maybe things are looking up for me.
I supposed to be starting a new temp assignment at a hospital this Monday.
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Saffron wrote: She called me today to see how I am doing. First she called my friend at the church and asked him if I'm okay, then he told her where I was. She didn't call me. So i called her as i was stuck at a RR crossing in my car.
We had a nice conversation. she also said that my "friend" seems to be a very nice person. I was surprised. So maybe things are looking up for me.
I supposed to be starting a new temp assignment at a hospital this Monday.
I'm glad to hear this saffron...there's no telling if it will turn out the way you hope for, but at least it's a little step forward. You'll probably hit more brick walls as you go on, but just get out your 'climbing gear' or find another path round it....good luck ....xxx
We had a nice conversation. she also said that my "friend" seems to be a very nice person. I was surprised. So maybe things are looking up for me.
I supposed to be starting a new temp assignment at a hospital this Monday.
I'm glad to hear this saffron...there's no telling if it will turn out the way you hope for, but at least it's a little step forward. You'll probably hit more brick walls as you go on, but just get out your 'climbing gear' or find another path round it....good luck ....xxx
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home