Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A safari for Samantha's treasure!

A prize to great to measure

Her wealth of beauty

Is the booty

I will seek to pleasure
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Welllllllll..... I guess we COULD keep them cleaner

But it would stifle Samantha's demeaner

She's cute an' pert

And a terrible flirt

SHE STARTED IT... neener,neener, neener:yh_rotfl
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Aw. . . please don't make me be tame!

The limericks will then become lame!

I have my desire

To light 4rum's fire

To miss out would just be a shame!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

hmmmmm.......

To lighten up the somber tone

If the lady would condone

Monkey has agreed

Since there is a need

To be her constant chaperone
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Monkey:

A chaperone is not required,

Tell 4rum he's greatly desired,

Samantha's not shy,

You'll soon see why,

As she'll be oh so scantly attired!!

Attached files
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

A thanks to you MrsK!

I hardly know what to say,

I'm pleased that you think,

That we are in sync,

So in hot pursuit I will stay.

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Bawdy, buxom and brash

That girl can sure talk some trash

Got me so hyper

I dumped in my diaper

Now how's that for p'nash?

......Oh, guys........as long as we're all havin' fun, and no one gets offended... your comments are most welcome. So far everyone has just been super. Thanx.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Meanwhile...........................

Our monkey went on a bender

With an ape of the opposite gender

But she locked her knees

'Round some coco nut trees

So monkey had to rear end 'er
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Seems 4Rum is being evasive,

Or "Sam" should be more persuasive,

What more can I do?

To get through to you?

I'm neekid. . . .. is that too abrasive??
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Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

Monkey

Post by Accountable »

Seven whole pages of limmerick!

Personally, I think it's terrific.



Now when I take some time

From scraping a dime



I can go back and read all of it. :-6

Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Welcome aboard LadyJab,

4Rum and I love to gab,

You're doing sublime,

At making things rhyme,

So give those ol' limericks a stab.

:guitarist
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Accountable:

How can I rhyme with Accountable?

The task just seems insurmountable!

If you give me a dime,

I'll find you a rhyme,

Then it will be circumventable!!

(ok. . . that one wore me out -- I need more coffee):-5
lady cop
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Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:00 pm

Monkey

Post by lady cop »

4rum and Samantha....you bring some real talent to this thread! :)
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Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

Monkey

Post by Accountable »

Hi Sam!



If you've trouble rhyming Accountable

Shorten it to Acc.

Everyone does

And you should, becuz

Nobody's Indefatigable.

Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Welcome LC, to this thread,

We like to make faces turn red!

That lamb is real sweet,

Don't let "dino" eat,

Or I will just shoot him dead!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

WOW You guys just blow me away. This is so much fun.:yh_worshp
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha sure brightened my day

When she joined to come out an' play

She's far more spunky

Than a barrel of monkies

Really, what more can I say
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Seems 4Rum is being evasive,

Or "Sam" should be more persuasive,

What more can I do?

To get through to you?

I'm neekid. . . .. is that too abrasive??


Abrasive is not the grind

4rum has in mind

Never expected

To find 'er nekkid

Time to chill the wine ♥♥♥
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum

Please pour me a glass of that wine,

And soon I'll be feeling quite fine,

Let's sit in the tub,

And I'll give you a rub,

Twill be bliss that we cannot define!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Dear 4Rum

Please pour me a glass of that wine,

And soon I'll be feeling quite fine,

Let's sit in the tub,

And I'll give you a rub,

Twill be bliss that we cannot define!




No wine you would ever sip

Would taste so sweet as your lips

But bliss left to chance

Might spoil a romance

We should measure the weight of our quips

Attached files
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Accountable
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Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

Monkey

Post by Accountable »

Don't mind my taking notes.

I won't attribute the quotes.

I'm just interested in

A new way to begin

To get my beloved to "float" :yh_flower
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

sighhhhhhhh

I hope there's no cure for lust,

For have you again, I must,

We make quite a pair,

So if we dare,

I don't want your willie to rust!

:rolleyes:
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AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Monkey

Post by AussiePam »

Hurray!!! Some good rhymes with a punch

Would you like some bananas to munch?

Take pride learned questors

In your playful ancestors

What a talented simian bunch
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum:

While we were both clowning around,

The monkeys went out on the town,

Now both are in jail,

We need to post bail,

I guess we had better crack down!!
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AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Monkey

Post by AussiePam »

Dear Samantha and 4rum

When you've slept off that booze and both wake

Here's a handfull of asprin to take

I can't post your bail

But you'll get out of jail

By using the file in this cake

Attached files
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

OMG!! Dear 4Rum:

The monkeys are now on the lam,

Thanks to that sweet AussiePam,

They headed to Rio,

To sing in a trio,

Seems the FEDS are on to their scam!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkies are given to play

When humans don't get in the way

Don't fret for monkey

Or his sweet bunky

I KNOW that they are ok:yh_monkey
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Alas, alack and forsooth

I've broken a frikkin' tooth

Snuck a piece of your cake

That was a mistake

Now onsth gone the other ith looth!!!
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

If a tooth was all that you lost,

Be grateful for such a small cost,

You would not be so calm,

If that cake had a bomb,

As your "pieces" would be ever tost!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Well........ I tried your bomb in a cake

You think it's funny, I'll stake

Your recipe

Didn't tell me

The da*n thing would go off half baked:yh_angry
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum:

The recipe you need to read,

The type of "powder" you must heed,

The "baking" kind,

Not for guns you mind,

Or else a pine box you will need!

(smooches dahlink!!)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Would have been more expediant

If you'd sent the ingredients

Sulphur and salt peter

And charcoal by the liter

Cookbook?...I used the encyclopediant

(smooches my patooty... I want your knickers!)
Tarzan
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:52 am

Monkey

Post by Tarzan »

Monkey thread

My kind of rhyme

I swing with them

All the time.

Up and down

The trees we fly,

Limb to limb

Across the sky.

Once I fall

No big deal

Where little Cheetah

Left his banana peel.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A fabled story

I'll now tell

'Bout the origin of

Tarzan's yell

Trait passed down

From simian king?

Nope, got 'it' caught

In his drawstring

AHHHHH...EEEE...AHHHH...eep.... :-3
Tarzan
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:52 am

Monkey

Post by Tarzan »

Oh so true

Loincloth too tight

Made me cry

Me not too bright.

Better wear

'Nuttin at all

But 'fraid what happen

Next time I fall.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Spoke to Jane

She likes your plan

Even offered

To give you a hand:yh_monkey
Tarzan
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:52 am

Monkey

Post by Tarzan »

Monkey business

Good jungle news

Jane come by

Got nothing to loose.

Leave sign out

On jungle door

Cheeta keep out

Making jungle lore.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey peeked in

Through a crack

Shocked he saw

'The beast with two backs'
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Would have been more expediant

If you'd sent the ingredients

Sulphur and salt peter

And charcoal by the liter

Cookbook?...I used the encyclopediant

(smooches my patooty... I want your knickers!)


Dear 4Rum:

Back in post seventy-four,

You HAD my knickers and more,

Now Tarzan's at hand,

To "monkey sit" and. . .

We can make nookie galore!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Tarzan,

So happy to see you and Jane,

Those monkeys can be such a pain,

We'll pay you a sum,

In bottles of rum,

To monkey sit and not complain!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey takes care of himself

Has since he was a whelp

Runs wild in the bush

Likes 'likker' and tush

Thanks but no thanks for the help
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Ol' monkey runs loose in the fourms

He's had many hats and he's wore 'em

Many folks he knew

Pissed off a few

But one thing for sure, he don't bore 'em
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