Irritated and Frustrated

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:59 am

Ok my biological mother and I do not see eye to eye. She had me when she was 17. My grandmother ended up raising me most of my life. The few times I actually lived with my BM was when she was married or living with my grandmother herself. The last few years I've been wanting to find my bio-father, however my BM won't give me any information. The only things I know are his name, his occupation, and that supposedly I have a sister 6 weeks younger or older than me.

I have chosen not to speak to my BM for over a year now. I'm angry and frustrated with her. She sees no wrong in how her lack of parenting skills is why my siblings are screwed up. I have 2 younger sisters and a younger brother. None of us share a father. Yep I was known to call her the town whore when we had our blow up fights. But both my sisters have 3 children, one is a meth addict whose kids fathers are in jail or prison. The other sister is actually getting her life back on tract. My brother will be 22 the 31st and has already been jail a half dozen times. I blame my BM for their mistakes, because she was never around. Her men were always more important than us.

Jeez as I reread what I just typed, my life sounds like the next episode on Jerry Springer. :-5

Anyways I just wanted to vent. If your wondering how I came out normal. It's because at 14 I was given the choice of going to live with my aunt and uncle or going to Girlstown.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:13 am

I feel you. My dad is a bastard. If you dont talk to her, she cant hurt you. Thats how I deal with my dad. Or as I like to call him, "the sperm donor".

I hope you can find him on the information you have. Maybe Jives has some pointers for you!

SweetDarlin · Post by **SweetDarlin** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:09 am

Sheryl wrote: Jeez as I reread what I just typed, my life sounds like the next episode on Jerry Springer. :-5

gosh... you've lived my life.. well part of it. Honey... just breathe. You've done well at being your own person. ONe day you will come to understand a little more and accept your mother's faults and forgive her... or maybe she will never even acknowledge them and you'll disown her... AND FORGIVE HER! forgiveness is important for the giver, not the receiver. Hate and anger eats away at you from the inside. So, one way or the other, you need to make a decision regarding your relationship with her.. and be at peace with it.

About your bio father... there must be someone else who knows... friends of hers at the time, her siblings, etc? Good luck hon.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:23 pm

I'm one of the most stubborn person you've met. I think me and forgiveness are along way apart.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:21 pm

without breaking any confidentiality, i have spoken to Sheryl and hopefully she will get some questions answered soon. Sheryl, you write me back whenever you want to.:-4

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:34 pm

flopstock wrote: See, I really don't have any problem with not forgiving. I've never understood why folks think it is so important. I can't remember the last time I thought about my parents until I read this thread.. so I don't dwell on it or wonder 'what ifs'...they gave up any right to me 'feeling' anything about them a long time ago..I just moved on.

BTW, there are worse things then not knowing your father..trust me.

And have you considered the possibility that she doesn't KNOW who the father is, for sure? If he's supposed to live locally, go to your newspapers archives and look up births from 7 weeks before to 7 weeks after your birthday. Write down the names listed with the females born and start there..

I was looking at birth records online earlier. I did find a girl who was born in the same month as me, same year, with same last name as my supposed father.

I dunno in some ways I don't want to worry bout finding my dad, scared of rejection. But then again I don't want to not find him now, and regret it in my later years. Did that make sense?

Hey LC I'll let you know what I find.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:42 pm

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minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:37 pm

lady cop wrote: i have flogged this before, and will do it again...contact this, it is free. you never know. xoxoxox International Soundex Reunion Registry

is zat international or only for the USA?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:50 pm

minks wrote: is zat international or only for the USA?i am not certain...but ask them. (775) 882-7755 they claim international.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:35 pm

SweetDarlin wrote: gosh... you've lived my life.. well part of it. Honey... just breathe. You've done well at being your own person. ONe day you will come to understand a little more and accept your mother's faults and forgive her... or maybe she will never even acknowledge them and you'll disown her... AND FORGIVE HER! forgiveness is important for the giver, not the receiver. Hate and anger eats away at you from the inside. So, one way or the other, you need to make a decision regarding your relationship with her.. and be at peace with it.

About your bio father... there must be someone else who knows... friends of hers at the time, her siblings, etc? Good luck hon.

Outstanding !!!!!

Right on the money.

Just breathe, I like that so much.