is that a pepperoni in your shorts, or are you just glad to see me? :yh_rotfl ...i am going to try to update this thread with dumbarse criminals regularly...there's certainly no shortage!Rodney A. Covington walked out of a Spring Hill supermarket Sunday night with a 12-inch pepperoni stick in his shorts, police said, and that got him arrested.
SPRING HILL - Rodney A. Covington walked out of a Spring Hill supermarket Sunday night with a 12-inch pepperoni stick in his shorts, police said, and that got him arrested. When Covington, 34, walked past all the registers at the Kash n' Karry at 11160 Spring Hill Drive, he was confronted by the store's manager. According to a Sheriff's Office report, Covington lifted his shirt, "exposing the pepperoni stick." The manager then saw a 1-pound block of pepper jack cheese tucked into Covington's hip pocket. Covington waited for a deputy to arrive and then explained that he was carrying the meat and cheese in his pants because he had hurt his hand and couldn't carry a shopping basket. Covington of 13223 Arkendale St. in Spring Hill told the deputy that he intended to pay for the items but couldn't explain why he hadn't, according to the report. He was taken to the Hernando County Jail and charged with misdemeanor retail theft. Value of the meat and cheese: $6.49. He was released Sunday night.
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i'll bet you could contribute a lot to this thread Clipper! 
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:yh_rotfl
I'll never look at a pepperoni stick the same way again! LOL!
I'll never look at a pepperoni stick the same way again! LOL!
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Clipper wrote: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
Hey sunny.....ya know how to do the Texas 2-Step?:D
no, but I'm a fast learner!:D
Hey sunny.....ya know how to do the Texas 2-Step?:D
no, but I'm a fast learner!:D
stupid criminal awards
if you get FOX news on cable, they are currently following a standoff between police and a kidnap suspect.....
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Not quite as funny... but here's one:
By The Associated Press
WILLISTON, N.D. (AP) - A man wearing a ski mask walked into a bank and demanded money, then told tellers, "just kidding," authorities said.
Ryan Wright, 20, surrendered to police Monday night, said Sgt. Mark Hanson, a Williston police detective. Wright was formally charged Tuesday.
Judge David Nelson set his bail at $1,000 and ordered Wright to stay away from alcohol and bars. A preliminary hearing was set for March 21, court officials said.
"He never showed a weapon, but the tellers got quite scared and concerned and thought the worst," Hanson said.
No customers were in the bank at the time of the Feb. 17 incident, he said. Wright then went about his banking business, taking some money from his checking account and then leaving.
If convicted, Wright faces up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine. "You don't walk into a bank with a ski mask and say 'Give me all your money,'" Hanson said. "It's just like going on an airplane and saying you have a bomb."
By The Associated Press
WILLISTON, N.D. (AP) - A man wearing a ski mask walked into a bank and demanded money, then told tellers, "just kidding," authorities said.
Ryan Wright, 20, surrendered to police Monday night, said Sgt. Mark Hanson, a Williston police detective. Wright was formally charged Tuesday.
Judge David Nelson set his bail at $1,000 and ordered Wright to stay away from alcohol and bars. A preliminary hearing was set for March 21, court officials said.
"He never showed a weapon, but the tellers got quite scared and concerned and thought the worst," Hanson said.
No customers were in the bank at the time of the Feb. 17 incident, he said. Wright then went about his banking business, taking some money from his checking account and then leaving.
If convicted, Wright faces up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine. "You don't walk into a bank with a ski mask and say 'Give me all your money,'" Hanson said. "It's just like going on an airplane and saying you have a bomb."
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The pepperoni story reminds me of a story my husband tells of a man passing out. His pants were so tight, they had to cut them off. Imagine their suprise when they found a salami taped so tightly to his leg, it's what caused him to pass out.
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Police: Man Wearing Milk Crate Robs Store
Incident Caught On Surveillance tape
PELHAM, Ga. -- Police said a man robbed a Georgia convenience store last weekend with a milk crate on his head, and the whole incident was caught on surveillance tape.
Police in Pelham, Ga., said the man beneath the mask was Marty Simpson, 46.
Simpson allegedly robbed the clerk at gunpoint and then ditched the milk crate in the parking lot, giving everyone outside a good look at his face.
Officers tracked him down about two hours after the robbery.
Simpson faces charges of armed robbery, aggravated assault and burglary.
Police said he also robbed another convenience store earlier the same day.
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i think he might be relation.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
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:yh_rotfl
TAMPA, Fla. -- Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed Tampa officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure.
Turned out Williams, 47, was getting the real thing, and he was arrested shortly after approaching the officers Tuesday morning.
Officers Wayne Easley and Gary Filippone were investigating a burglary and trying to catch loose dogs when Williams walked up, crack pipe in hand, and asked them to verify that he was getting real drugs, a report said.
When Williams grabbed Easley's police vest, the officers put him in handcuffs, the report said. He was arrested after the residue in his pipe tested positive for crack cocaine.
Williams is listed in jail records as a security worker at MacDill Air Force Base. He is charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia. He was still in jail Wednesday with bail set at $2,500. Jail records had no attorney information.
TAMPA, Fla. -- Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed Tampa officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure.
Turned out Williams, 47, was getting the real thing, and he was arrested shortly after approaching the officers Tuesday morning.
Officers Wayne Easley and Gary Filippone were investigating a burglary and trying to catch loose dogs when Williams walked up, crack pipe in hand, and asked them to verify that he was getting real drugs, a report said.
When Williams grabbed Easley's police vest, the officers put him in handcuffs, the report said. He was arrested after the residue in his pipe tested positive for crack cocaine.
Williams is listed in jail records as a security worker at MacDill Air Force Base. He is charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia. He was still in jail Wednesday with bail set at $2,500. Jail records had no attorney information.
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i don't have a cite, sorry, but a few years ago some crack dealer in texas won a couple million in the lottery (there is no justice!) and three days later was arrested for trying to sell crack to an undercover...what, did he need the money??? what i love, is texas made him forfeit the money. i hope every day of his life in prison he looks in the mirror and recognizes what a drooling moron he is.
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here's another texas idiot....he went into a high-end clothing store. he took off those big sensor-things in the dressing room and shoved them in his jeans pocket. then walked out the door with a load of expensive clothes! HAHAHAHAHA
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KarazePapa wrote: You Know LC, it takes all kinds of people to make up this old world and it just happens we have run into the all kinds.it sure is good to see you back!! :-4
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Shweet tatersalad
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This is one my favs.
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ELKO, Nev. (AP) - A man accused of burglarizing a laundromat in Elko figured he made a clean escape over the weekend when he took off with the store's six video surveillance cameras.
But it turns out he left some rather compelling evidence behind - the video machine and videotape that recorded his face each time he stood in front of the cameras at the Southside Laundry.
Elko police said they came away with several close-ups of the suspect, Robert Lynn White, 52, Elko.
And even if the portraits were a little fuzzy, police said they would have been able to easily identify him because he was wearing cowboy chaps and a trench coat, the usual attire he wears around town. Police are still working to recover the missing cameras but in the meantime they have arrested White on suspicion of grand larceny. The store is owned by Elko County Commissioner John Ellison.
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OUCH!! That's gotta hurt!
GILLETTE, Wyo. (AP) - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.
Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.
The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said. Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.
GILLETTE, Wyo. (AP) - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.
Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.
The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said. Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.
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valerie wrote: Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.
Shouldn't they press arson charges, as well? :yh_rotfl
Shouldn't they press arson charges, as well? :yh_rotfl
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
stupid criminal awards
valerie wrote: OUCH!! That's gotta hurt!
GILLETTE, Wyo. (AP) - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.
Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.
The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said. Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.
I heard this one on the radio this morning. UNBELIEVABLE!!
GILLETTE, Wyo. (AP) - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.
Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.
The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said. Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.
I heard this one on the radio this morning. UNBELIEVABLE!!
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KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) - A man who tried to steal an ATM with a backhoe was arrested when he asked police officers who were chasing him for help after he jumped into the Kansas River, police said.
Police said the man, in his 50s, used the backhoe to break into a convenience store in Kansas City, Kan., then tried to drive away with the Automated Teller Machine. As the man tried to flee, the machine and 12 packs of soda fell from the backhoe, police said.
Police followed the man as he took the backhoe through a wooded area before fleeing on foot.
After jumping into the Kansas River, the man swam out about 15 feet from shore, then called for help, saying he was drowning, the police department said.
Two officers jumped into the river, rescued him and arrested him, police said. The man was taken to a hospital after complaining of an ankle injury, police said. The two officers were unharmed.
KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) - A man who tried to steal an ATM with a backhoe was arrested when he asked police officers who were chasing him for help after he jumped into the Kansas River, police said.
Police said the man, in his 50s, used the backhoe to break into a convenience store in Kansas City, Kan., then tried to drive away with the Automated Teller Machine. As the man tried to flee, the machine and 12 packs of soda fell from the backhoe, police said.
Police followed the man as he took the backhoe through a wooded area before fleeing on foot.
After jumping into the Kansas River, the man swam out about 15 feet from shore, then called for help, saying he was drowning, the police department said.
Two officers jumped into the river, rescued him and arrested him, police said. The man was taken to a hospital after complaining of an ankle injury, police said. The two officers were unharmed.