what would you do?

shibee · Post by **shibee** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:55 am

ok, welcome to another part of my life...

i have 2 friends...one who is a gay male...the other who is a female. both are my friends...i am closer to the female "ariel than i am with "doug". doug and i are just becoming good friends. he finds it easy to confide in me...ariel "shom i've know for 5 years) and i have been close for quite some time. ariel and doug are friends but not real close...just acquaintances.

there is a male who i will call mike has expressed interest in ariel. he is a nice looking fellow. i have met him 2 times, speak to him in passing...nothing more than that. good situation...right? well, mike has also expressed his interest in doug. this info is not coming from mike direct but from ariel and doug. doug told me last night that mike wants to have a seuxal relationship with him and he's unsure of what do to. i gave my advice to him...left it at that. well, later in the morning, ariel tells me that doug wants to have a sexual relationship with her...ok..freaking me out. neither ariel nor doug know what i know about mike. mike has no idea that doug told me about him wanting to be with him...mike has no idea that ariel told me that he's wanting to be with her. 2 friends confided in me and told me not to tell anyone...but now, i'm concerned and feel that i need to say something to them...if not mike...what do i say? someone's going to get the'r feelings hurt...should i just tell the both of them that he's not a good guy and just looking for sex...? should i say something to mike? should i warn ariel? what to do? i want to be a good friend to both. i know i shouldn't keep silent because in the end, i feel it's going to come out and somehow, i know i'm going to be involved because both confided in me. if i don't say something, it's going to be like "ok, why didn't u tell me?" please help... any input would be great???!?!?!?!?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:59 am

What would you do if it were two girlfriends?

How is this different?

shibee · Post by **shibee** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:01 am

it would be the same situation...i'd still be asking for advice on FG.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:02 am

Does Aerial know Mike's bi-sexual?

shibee · Post by **shibee** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:04 am

abbey wrote: Does Aerial know Mike's bi-sexual?

nope...

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:05 am

abbey wrote: Does Aerial know Mike's bi-sexual?nevermind that, does she know he's a slut? :wah:

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:23 am

lady cop wrote: nevermind that, does she know he's a slut? :wah: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl You bad.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:33 am

shibee wrote: it would be the same situation...i'd still be asking for advice on FG.
Sorry, I'm more straightforward. You're definitely in the right place, though. :-6

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:35 am

flopstock wrote: What's the question?

Simply call Mike and tell him he has 8 hours to tell both friends of his interest in the other. At the end of 8 hours call your two friends together and explain simply that 'mike has trouble discussing this with you two so I told him I would'.

Good answer, that way everyone knows where they stand and Mike has to be open and upfront and not a sleazebag!

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:29 am

I would call the two good friends, Doug and Ariel and I would start by saying that how you like them very much and that you hope they won't be upset but that you want to tell them something for their own good.

Say to Ariel what Doug told you and the same the other way round.

I think if you say that you love them and they are such good friends and that you don't want to see them hurt at the very beginning and then explain I'm sure they will understand and be appreciative of your advice.

This guy Mike is obviously a user and a player otherwise he would be open.

He could also have any kind of STDs if this is his usual practice.

Best of Luck.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:53 am

Sorry but I got a headache about a third of the way through.

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:03 pm

See, I thought of that, but decided to give mike the benefit of the doubt. For all we know he thinks everyone shares info or assumes he has nothing to hide and doesn't think he should be discussing one with the other..

Being attracted to two different people is not a crime nor does it make him a slut.. but by telling him you are giving him the 8 hours to discuss with the friends you leave yourself room to be his friend in the future -in the event he does hook up with one, the other, or both... which is not unheard of.

I mean, after all, you're attracted to both these folks why shouldn't he be? His is just a different kind of attraction then yours, IMO..

I've nothing against gay/bi-sexual. I mean whatever turns you on as long as everybody is conscenting,but I understood it, that Mike knows all of them so why would they feel it is such a secret. They asked Shibee to promise not to tell, then why? If's it all so open, then they can just tell each other. What's the big deal? Or am I just mis-reading this??

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:30 pm

jennyswan wrote: I've nothing against gay/bi-sexual. I mean whatever turns you on as long as everybody is conscenting,but I understood it, that Mike knows all of them so why would they feel it is such a secret. They asked Shibee to promise not to tell, then why? If's it all so open, then they can just tell each other. What's the big deal? Or am I just mis-reading this??

Maybe he's just being a typical hound, hitting on both hoping at least one will show interest.

I remember those days.