Hurting

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:52 pm

Oh dear, I know we've all been there but it hurts like crazy when you're in it. My stop/start relationship with my American friend has finally finished today. It stumbled on for several months, via IM, after my return from America and now it's over, for real. I was really hoping that it could be revived but that was just wishful thinking on my part...or maybe I was trying to delay the inevitable pain of shattered dreams and hopes...but why do these things have to hurt quite so much?

Any encouraging or even amusing words from anybody here would be so welcome...I can't even seem to refocus in the arcade so it must be bad!

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:59 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: Theia, I've seen your photos and I've read your posts. You're such a great catch that I have to wonder about this guy's mental facilities. I'm sorry that its so painful, but I have to think maybe its for the best... the guy is obviously an idiot.

I'd like to kick him in the dangly bits.

And I would stand in line behind snooze to do the same thing...

Theia, love does hurt, but hun don't give up, take time to heal, and know time does heal. Do something special just for yourself and live for yourself for a while and then hun go on back out there and find some fun. Come May you will wonder what it was all about when you meet up with the gang hehehehe

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:07 pm

Theia...everything snoozy said plus loads of hugs....my daughter tells me that there is a soulmate out there for us all....I take heart from that and so should you.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:10 pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Theia ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:21 pm

theia wrote: Oh dear, I know we've all been there but it hurts like crazy when you're in it. My stop/start relationship with my American friend has finally finished today. It stumbled on for several months, via IM, after my return from America and now it's over, for real. I was really hoping that it could be revived but that was just wishful thinking on my part...or maybe I was trying to delay the inevitable pain of shattered dreams and hopes...but why do these things have to hurt quite so much?

Any encouraging or even amusing words from anybody here would be so welcome...I can't even seem to refocus in the arcade so it must be bad!

Sorry theia to hear of your sorrow. Ending a relationship is usually never easy, and unfortunately it usually always hurts. (there are sometimes exceptions,but. .)

"Time" will make the hurt go away, so for now just take care of yourself, just chill, and let life take its course. The saying goes: When you miss a Bus, another one always comes along. Same with Americans!!!

So cheer up & "make" yourself happy!

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:25 pm

Snooze, Minks, Far, Bez and Aussie Pam...thank you. I cried when I read your posts and felt your support, but they were tears of a different kind to the painful ones. I wish I could name them but I can't. Thank you

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:26 pm

And thank you, Cars

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:27 pm

sweetie we are all here for you I am sure beyond me anyone of us would offer up our PM space if you just want to vent, chat, or cry to us so keep that in mind ok.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:29 pm

Time heals all wounds, Theia. And I agree, anyone who gets to know the wonderful person you are inside could never walk away.

All this means is that the person who is REALLY meant for you is still out there, ready to come walking into your life when you least expect it!:o

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:33 pm

Theia, this friend who let you get away is missing out on someone very special. It's his loss, to be sure, not yours. The last painful breakup I went through, I think about now, and say to myself, "How could I EVER have thought he was the one for me???!!" When you are able to look at the situation having removed the emotion from it, you will see the same thing.

And I'm proof that there is someone out there for eveyone, especially when you're not looking. I wasn't looking when Bullet came along, and we are such a perfect fit! The same goes for you. Be happy with yourself, know that you have much to offer the right man, and they will recognize that when they come along and they won't let you get away.

Much love, and hugs. :-4 :-6

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:35 pm

minks wrote: anyone of us would offer up our PM space if you just want to vent, chat, or cry to us so keep that in mind ok.
Ditto that!

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:13 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: I'm sorry Theia! I'm here if you ever need to talk..

Yeah! You should talk to T-girl! She's in a great mood today! That'd cheer you up.:-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:19 pm

your a phenomenal woman theia

pick yourself up, dust yourself down & move right along with your head held high girl, there's a whole lotta men out there who'd love a date with you

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:22 pm

Oh, we all love you so, Theia. We know how wonderful you are, and beautiful inside and out!:-4

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:26 pm

theia wrote: Oh dear, I know we've all been there but it hurts like crazy when you're in it. My stop/start relationship with my American friend has finally finished today. It stumbled on for several months, via IM, after my return from America and now it's over, for real. I was really hoping that it could be revived but that was just wishful thinking on my part...or maybe I was trying to delay the inevitable pain of shattered dreams and hopes...but why do these things have to hurt quite so much?

Any encouraging or even amusing words from anybody here would be so welcome...I can't even seem to refocus in the arcade so it must be bad!
Theia dont be afraid of the pain. It means you are alive and able to feel the experiences of life. When I was in your shoes, it felt like someone had kicked me in the gut and I went numb all over. Hard, callous and NUMB. I didnt let anyone in. ANYONE. I went through a good chunk of my life in that state. Then along comes a fella who saw a chink in the ice and said 'ello! That fella is my soulmate. Yours is out there too. You will know him right off.

Chalk this one up to experience, young lady. May not be a good one, but it's an experience you can grow by.

And all your sisters here have wide enough shoulders to help you with the burden of it. There really is something wrong with this guy mentally. Something is just not right. Healthy, right minded people just dont DO this kind of thing to another. So I think hindsight will show you, you made a lucky escape. Darling, trust me. You cant go forward by looking back. Even though it may hurt at first, put on a brave face and walk into the sunshine. We are all right here. We can shore you up when you wobble. It wont hurt like this for long. You may feel a bout of depression, but this too is normal and it will pass. No, there is nothing wrong with you. If anything you will be a little wiser. But you will KNOW when THE ONE shows up. And HE is still out there looking for YOU! I promise. :yh_flower

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:32 pm

Oh dear, I know we've all been there but it hurts like crazy when you're in it. My stop/start relationship with my American friend has finally finished today. It stumbled on for several months, via IM, after my return from America and now it's over, for real. I was really hoping that it could be revived but that was just wishful thinking on my part...or maybe I was trying to delay the inevitable pain of shattered dreams and hopes...but why do these things have to hurt quite so much?

Any encouraging or even amusing words from anybody here would be so welcome...I can't even seem to refocus in the arcade so it must be bad!

Theia, hope you will feel better soon. I know it's a shite feeling to have this happen. I read the story about what happened when you went to the US. He needs a boot in the ghoolies. Hugs xxx

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:02 pm

Thank you, Jives, BR, Tmbsgrl, MrsK, Buttercup, Chonsi, Raven, and Jennyswan...if only you all knew how much your words of encouragement help me...and maybe, just maybe, there is the "right" person out there for me....it's a lovely thought. If it happens, FG will be the first to know

:-6

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:13 pm

Oh honey! You will be just fine! That a girl! Come on over to my place in a few weeks, and we'll have a good ol' time! (I smoke richmond menthol, how 'bout you?) LOL!! Surround yourself with the folks who truly care about you, and you wont notice anything missing! It helped me. And I promise I wont say 'see? told you so!' LOL!! :yh_flower

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:21 pm

Raven wrote: Oh honey! You will be just fine! That a girl! Come on over to my place in a few weeks, and we'll have a good ol' time! (I smoke richmond menthol, how 'bout you?) LOL!! Surround yourself with the folks who truly care about you, and you wont notice anything missing! It helped me. And I promise I wont say 'see? told you so!' LOL!! :yh_flower

Silk cut, Raven!! And I think I'm boosting their sales tenfold tonight! No, sorry, twentyfold!

I'm looking forward to meeting you all and I'll be happy for you to say "told you so"

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:34 pm

Theia,

You know I'm here for ya whenever you need a shoulder, as we all are. I'll give you this - you are a tenacious one! :p But you're sure it's over, it's over. I still have as much free time as ever, should you feel like emailing me.

:yh_flower

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:45 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: You know what kills me? Theia is freaking gorgeous! What the heck does this guy want, anyway?

a kick in the kajones.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:49 pm

I meant what i said Theia, if ever you want to talk give me a shout x :yh_hugs

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:23 pm

I married the man I thought was the love of my life. Turned out, he made Satan look like a saint. The divorce hurt like hell. The disappointment in him not being my Prince Charming hurt. A few years later I met a man who I loved so much, yet I had to walk away. Although I loved him, I knew the life we would have together was not one I could live. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. I gave up on love. I didn't want to hurt again. Then I met my husband. Every time he told me he loved me, I told him to shut up. I wanted to run from him, but something kept me there. 19 years, and two kids later, and we're still together. It'll take time to get over the pain, but you will. Time DOES ease the pain. Don't look for a relationship. Just go out, have fun, and you never know what can happen. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you too.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:25 pm

Theia, I am so sorry to hear of your sorrow. everyone has already given you loads of advice and support. but I would like to add my support as well.

I, too, know well this pain. Take care, it will pass and you will be the wiser for it. You are strong and the pain will pass and one day you will wake up knowing that by yourself, you are whole and complete.

When you meet the one destined for you, you will sense a fulfillment and feel as if a new chapter or journey is starting in your life.

Love yourself, hug yourself, believe in yourself, because no one is more important than you. Feel the pain, and then let it go.

:-4 :-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:26 pm

A lovely lady called Abbey just called me for over an hour and she actually had me laughing at one point...no mean feat.

And thank you too, JAB and Acc (yep, I will be mailing you, Acc again :-5 )

And an extra thank you to Snooze, BR and Minks (you know why)

I feel so, so fortunate to be able to share how I feel and to have the support of FG. I can't begin to explain how it feels except to say that I don't feel alone. Who was it who criticised forums? Well, he got it sadly wrong.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:33 pm

Theia... Sweet little missy.. I wish I had read the story about your trip to the US so I could use details to malign the fool that hurt you. What a wonderful thing it is to have so many friends here, be so fond of you. Breaking up is a very painful thing. Stay busy, and know that what the girls say is very true..... up the road, youll be apalled you ever wanted him. We are not in love with the person who is not good for us, or good to us. We are in love with who we thought he was.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:36 pm

Can I come and get you now ?

I have big shoulders and a warm heart for you.

We have a cozy place here just for you and you can sit and drool or babble or do anything that pleases you. (except the stupid arcade games)

I have X Box...you can play the way the big boys play.

You sound as if you know its over, then let it be over. Contact will just prolong your hopes or what might be left of them. Start fresh ! :-6 Think of this as a new door opening with unknown opportunities. Because essentially it is. Make the most of it. This is your life.

By the way thanks for sharing all this with us.

Love you. :-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:02 pm

Yes, Weeder, I projected madly on to him..there's a poem I read some years ago that includes a line something like...I can't forgive you for not being who I thought you were...and I suppose that says it all...in my mind he was someone different to the person he is.

Well, Nomad, my case is packed...you'll have a slightly longer way to travel to pick me up this time but I know you won't mind. Once you reach London, turn left...or is it right? You go "down" the road to get to Cornwall, anyway...what time can I expect you?

Peg, OpenMind, Weeder and Nomad...thank you :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:20 pm

theia wrote: Yes, Weeder, I projected madly on to him..there's a poem I read some years ago that includes a line something like...I can't forgive you for not being who I thought you were...and I suppose that says it all...in my mind he was someone different to the person he is.

Well, Nomad, my case is packed...you'll have a slightly longer way to travel to pick me up this time but I know you won't mind. Once you reach London, turn left...or is it right? You go "down" the road to get to Cornwall, anyway...what time can I expect you?

Peg, OpenMind, Weeder and Nomad...thank you :-4

Hell no Im not going anywhere near Cornwilly ! Betty Boop is in there. Ill stand just on the outside but not too close to Scotland.

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:49 pm

Theia, love comes when one least expects it. Live life and enjoy it. Your time will come. :-6

pina · Post by **pina** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:48 pm

Oh Theia, :-4 I too as many others have been through the heartache of breaking up, be strong and take care of yourself until time heals your heart.

I've missed you in the arcade come back soon before I nick all your scores. :sneaky:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:02 pm

Stalker alert. :-3

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:05 pm

Theia, rather than echo all the sentiments here, you know how i feel, someone more deserving awaits. when you are ready, he will come. :yh_flower :yh_yinyan :yh_hugs

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:38 am

SnoozeControl wrote: Psst! I'm serious here. If you want me to annoy this guy, I'm so there for you.

Oooh...we have a way to annoy this dufus?? We know where he hangs out? You know me, I'm all for being an annoyance. If I could get paid to get on people's nerves, I'd do it in a heartbeat!! It's therapeutic.

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:37 am

I'm just trying to imagine the scenario...BR and Snooze together, both seeking to annoy "no 1 bus"...

...do you know? I think today is going to be a far better day

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:43 am

SnoozeControl wrote: If it would make you feel better, Nomad's frantically searching through the photo file looking for you.

He really is.

Nomad had competition, I to searched the files, theia, you're a real "LOOKER"!!

(As I mentioned, it won't be long before another Bus comes along your way:) )

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:50 am

Thanks Cars. I went there too and gasped and thought, my goodness you're gross, theia, how could you have posted that? But this follows several months of allowing myself to be told by "no 1 bus" that I don't have much going for me and that he was ashamed to be seen with me whilst I was in Omaha. It couldn't fail to have an effect although I'm to blame for putting up with it. But it's all systems go now and I'm going to work hard on being nicer to myself.

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:57 am

theia wrote: Thanks Cars. I went there too and gasped and thought, my goodness you're gross, theia, how could you have posted that? But this follows several months of allowing myself to be told by "no 1 bus" that I don't have much going for me and that he was ashamed to be seen with me whilst I was in Omaha. It couldn't fail to have an effect although I'm to blame for putting up with it. But it's all systems go now and I'm going to work hard on being nicer to myself.

Go for it theia, Your signature has wise words to live by!

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 3:36 am

Geesch Theia... What a clueless bloody loser that ex bloke of yours must be. Lemme go get my trusty longbow and a very blunt arrow and we'll go impale his drongo rear end. In fact let's also cast upon him the ultimate aussie cuss. May his chooks turn into emus and kick his dunny down!! (Preferably with him in it)

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