A question for all the FG Men.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:36 pm

Clancy wrote: has it got over-head cams,that are situated in the cylinder head too?

:p
Yeah, but they leak.... :yh_sick :yh_rotfl

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:51 pm

Go and earn a few bob,,,,,,,,,down the pier head as a call girl.... get a man to pay for every thing.. and leave him with the bill,,,,,

in other words take him for a ride,,,,,,or cry rape in the office... and sue the firm

for sexual harassment..... theirs things i have'nt though off yet ,I'll be back....

theirs more daffy lo after all isnt the fe mail " deadly er than the mail" lol male oops ware the smallest mini skirt and tease all the men, knowing, they can't touch me.

Because the laws are on my side ok lol daffy... the list is endless give us a kiss,, pity

its only for aday...... women were would we be without them.... bloody millonaires

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:16 pm

I'm with Far on the "stare factor." I think I'd dress in a really low-cut dress so I could ogle my cleavage all day. Oh...and it'd be nice to wear a bikini instead of the stupid knickers that pass for men's swimsuits. Hmmmm...it'd also be weird to get a craving for chocolate...but not be able to eat any. Being top-heavy must be strange too.

For women that want to be men for a day, you must:

1. Get very dirty in the yard, then run your dirty hands through your hair, making sure that the sweat cleans them off leaving the dirt in your hair. Leave it that way for the rest of the day.

2. Pick up any dead birds you see and put them in the trash with your fingers.

3. Eat with your fingers.(You'll notice I did not say "wash your fingers" after picking up the dead bird. That's because you are a guy and you don't care about that.)

4. Wipe your nose with your shirt sleeve.

5. Kill any spiders you see, taking care to closely examine the squished guts.

6. Drink a lot, but do not pass out or want to "go home early," no matter how you really feel.

7. Go far, far past your alcohol limit in an attempt to drink other men "under the table." You may not complain about your hangover the next day either, or stay home from work.

8. Get punched really hard in the shoulder, but then, no matter how bad it hurts, laugh.

9. Never cry. Not at funerals, and not at tearful movies. You may cry, but only by yourself when no one is watching. This is especially important the worse you are hurt.(see emotion)

10. Smell your own underwear to see if it can be worn another day.

11. Fart loudly.

12. You may be called upon to fight another man.

If so: no hair pulling, no biting (unless you are Mike Tyson), and no kicking each other in the crotch.

Also make sure to goad the other guy into throwing the first punch, since that's all the judge will care about.

Use insults that imply incest with family members.

13. You also may be called upon to save a family member from harm.

If in a car wreck, you must throw your arm across the passenger, even if it means losing it.

If you come across a car or home on fire, you must enter the fire and save anyone inside, even at a cost of your own life.

If you are in a robbery situation, you may have to throw yourself on the weapon to allow your spouse or children to escape safely.

14. If there is any noise at night in the house, you will have to get up and investigate it.

15. It is your job to empty the kitty litter. No retching allowed. You must also pick up the dog doo in the yard on a daily basis, no waiting until it's hard.

16. You must empty the trash, even if it leaks reeking trash juice on your hands.

17. Speaking of hands, you should have at least one good cut that is oozing pus, or better yet blood, on each hand.

18. Never let a dare go by, no matter how stupid it is. This includes things that you know may be lethal, such as exploring mine shafts without flashlights while drunk, and running naked down a freeway.

19. If the toilet overflows, you are in charge of cleaning it up. In fact you might want to acclimatize yourself to "poop" since you will be stepping, standing, and picking up for much of your life.

And last of all...

14. Show little or no emotion. No matter how deeply or strongly you feel, you will be labeled a "pu55y" if you show any emotion other than anger or humor.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:28 pm

Yeah, funny huh? What's weird is that these are the REAL unwritten rules of manhood. Ask any boy on any playground.:-3

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:32 pm

I'm not sure what I'd do ..... suddenly finding myself in charge of the house. :-3

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:33 pm

Jives wrote: Yeah, funny huh? What's weird is that these are the REAL unwritten rules of manhood. Ask any boy on any playground.:-3
er its about women ,,,,, but men will do to prove a point,,,, go loldaffy

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:34 pm

Yeah, that's right...Hey Minks...What are the unwritten rules of womanhood?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 5:35 pm

Jives wrote: Yeah, that's right...Hey Minks...What are the unwritten rules of womanhood?

um let me get back to you on that one ok

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:39 am

Clancy wrote: .....typical , just like woman

hi jock have u ever know

women to be any different,,,,,all skirt and mouth lol not like us men.... rough

and ready,,,,, no jobs a problem,,,,,,we buy them washing machine dish washer

nice laminated floors, so they don't have scrubb """"" no more, make life easyer for them..to do the house work... we even undo the chain,, off them so their not

chained...

to the kitchen sink..... and all they do"""" yak yak""""" althe time,,, THEIR NEVER HAPPY.. so to speak.... unless they have er, credit card.... in their hand to go shopin

yes i would like to be a woman for a day... its a push over... they got it easy

with all the drugs, today they don't even, no they've , given birth... wott a life

u live longer,,,,,,,, loldaffy52 ps this should start some yak yak in lol

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:56 am

daffodil52 wrote: hi jock have u ever know

women to any different,,,,,all skirt and mouth lol not like us men.... rough

and ready,,,,, no jobs a problem,,,,,,we buy them washing machine dish washer

nice laminated floors, so they don't have scrubb """"" no more, make life easyer for them..to do the house work... we even undo the chain,, off them so their not

chained...

to the kitchen sink..... and all they do"""" yak yak""""" althe time,,, THEIR NEVER HAPPY.. so to speak.... unless they have er, credit card.... in their hand to go shopin

yes i would like to be a woman for a day... its a push over... they got it easy

with all the drugs, today they don't even, no they've , given birth... wott a life

u live longer,,,,,,,, loldaffy52 ps this should start some yak yak in lol
Oh lordy, I cannot WAIT till Flops gets a load of this post. Her and LC both. Me, I'm too wiped from working ten hours tonight to rip you the new ass you so richly deserve.... :yh_rotfl

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:06 am

BabyRider wrote: Oh lordy, I cannot WAIT till Flops gets a load of this post. Her and LC both. Me, I'm too wiped from working ten hours tonight to rip you the new ass you so richly deserve.... :yh_rotfl

arr but is it true,,,,, lol u know it makes sense yak yak .... and not quak quak

like us down trodden men.....loldaffy50 so yak away.......woman really do'

have it easy,,,,,life hay wott ,,,,, when do ,men ever say no... it the power of the female that has that right and not the male,,,,, ...............not tonight ,,,,,,, dear lol

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:08 am

Hey.. I don't own a skirt... Does this mean I'm really a bloke????

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:14 am

AussiePam wrote: Hey.. I don't own a skirt... Does this mean I'm really a ,,,,,bloke???? only if u have to lift the lid ,,, up on the toilet....

thats a mans job,,,,, daffy lol lol 50 yak yak .... here we go who wears the pants... loldaffy 52.....

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:45 am

BabyRider wrote: Oh lordy, I cannot WAIT till Flops gets a load of this post. Her and LC both. Me, I'm too wiped from working ten hours tonight to rip you the new ass you so richly deserve.... :yh_rotfli'm ignoring it, after all, he IS from liverpool, where stealing hubcaps is considered a career.

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:16 am

lady cop wrote: i'm ignoring it, after all, he IS from liverpool, where stealing hubcaps is considered a career.

why do u want to buy some,,,, hubcaps,,, lol daffy52 hay " can not stand the heat,

well stay out off the kitchen,, lol

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:20 am

Clipper wrote: ROFL!! And obviously a bachelor with very little experience to boot...LOL! wish i was....

plenty experiences... u might say 2 much,,, loldaffy52

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:20 am

daffodil52 wrote: why do u want to buy some,,,, hubcaps,,, lol daffy52 hay " can not stand the heat,

well stay out off the kitchen,, lolbut isn't that where women belong, the kitchen? :p :yh_battin :yh_tong2

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:21 am

daffodil52 wrote: wish i was....

plenty experiences... u might say 2 much,,, loldaffy52

Gonna share your experiences with us Daffy ??

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:29 am

lady cop wrote: but isn't that where women belong, the kitchen? :p :yh_battin :yh_tong2
so true,,, I always said men arr the best cooks, in the world...any one for duck soup.... loldaffy52 lol

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:31 am

daffodil52 wrote: so true,,, I always said men arr the best cooks, in the world...any one for duck soup.... loldaffy52 lolyes, indeed, first, pluck the duck....:yh_chickn :yh_rotfl

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:31 am

Bez wrote: Gonna share your experiences with us Daffy ??
hang on... let the lady cop .... have me first loldaffy52... i think she gone to get her duck gun,,,,,,

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:33 am

lady cop wrote: yes, indeed, first, pluck the duck....:yh_chickn :yh_rotfl
but whose do in the cook in......tonight lol

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:27 pm

Jives wrote: Yeah, that's right...Hey Minks...What are the unwritten rules of womanhood?

allow me to do this in steps

1) Open your eyes first thing after the offensive alarm goes off on any school/work day morning and immediately match a pair of mans socks from the laundry for the man of the house as he runs through the house shouting SOCK's I HAVE NO CLEAN SOCKS! before bolting out the door, while throwing together a ham sandwich lunch which includes, a sugar free juice box, a piece of fruit and some vegetable product that an 8 year old will eat as opposed to trade away, all this while being on the alert for the hamster that escaped during the night (while trying in your mind to determine which of the 3 kids was up past his or her bedtime playing with little buzzy). This delicate last step has to have the majority of your attention as stepping on little buzzy will lead to a complete and catastrophic meltdown of the entire juvinile population of the family structure that you daily maintain......

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:29 pm

LOl! Good one, Minks! pray continue!:wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:31 pm

2) A good sense of "making due", with what you have.... if you can't find the hammer the heel of your shoe, the pliers turned sideways, the handle end of a screwdriver, these will all do in a pinch. Making due for another day with the panty hose with a run, try them on, put the skirt on if the run hides beneath the skirt you dab on a spot of nail polish, if when seated the skirt rides up a bit to high and a hint of this run shows clear nail polish is a must, if the run can remain unseen any color works as you dash about getting ready for work.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:35 pm

3) Diapers and vomit... be able to change a diaper in less than 5 seconds as this prevents the smell from completely over taking the avearge human. Vomit, be able to clean vomit from inside the bed, from down the side of the bed, off the carpet, off the walls, and off your own clothing.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:35 pm

Jives wrote: LOl! Good one, Minks! pray continue!:wah:

you could be sorry hehehehe

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:40 pm

minks wrote: allow me to do this in steps

1) Open your eyes first thing after the offensive alarm goes off on any school/work day morning and immediately match a pair of mans socks from the laundry for the man of the house as he runs through the house shouting SOCK's I HAVE NO CLEAN SOCKS! before bolting out the door, while throwing together a ham sandwich lunch which includes, a sugar free juice box, a piece of fruit and some vegetable product that an 8 year old will eat as opposed to trade away, all this while being on the alert for the hamster that escaped during the night (while trying in your mind to determine which of the 3 kids was up past his or her bedtime playing with little buzzy). This delicate last step has to have the majority of your attention as stepping on little buzzy will lead to a complete and catastrophic meltdown of the entire juvinile population of the family structure that you daily maintain......hi

let daffy step in so to speak.. lol

never mind girl , rule one alway buy your man socks,, all the same colour.. lets say black... that way he's alway got a match in pair to put on....

put your foot down, and get them kids to bed early.. and stop them buzzin around to the wee"" small hours of the night,,, u know it make sense...

do like all mother, do tell er hubbie to sort it.....

and when its all is nice and quiet, sit down and watch the tele with er hubbie.

problem solved,,,, daffy52 PS"" buy a tubb of sun tan or leg tan . and throw them tights in the bin,,,,,,

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:46 pm

4) Strong shoulders built up from carrying a purse. A purse contains everything from tissues (both new and used), keys, (usually adorned with some fancy home made keychain made by your 10 year old), lip balm (generally used because daughters like to consume it and not tell you it is gone), a single sock (because as you were leaving your car to run for the office door you noticed it clinging to your skirt so plucked it off and stuffed it into your handbag), A mint, usually one with no wrapper on it but is coated with purse lint, just because everyone should have one. A pacifier, a bottle of water, old bills that have been paid, a couple compacts of make-up, nail polish for emergency repairs, a screw (this was found on the floor as you stepped on it on your hurried way out the door to soccer practice), numerous snack items such as granola bars, and fruit snacks (heaven forbid one of your children complains they are hungry 10 minutes before dinner) And an overstuffed wallet (don't get me started on it's contents)

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:47 pm

daffodil52 wrote: hi

let daffy step in so to speak.. lol

never mind girl , rule one alway buy your man socks,, all the same colour.. lets say black... that way he's alway got a match in pair to put on....

put your foot down, and get them kids to bed early.. and stop them buzzin around to the wee"" small hours of the night,,, u know it make sense...

do like all mother, do tell er hubbie to sort in......

and when its all is nice and quiet, sit down and watch the tele with er hubbie.

problem solved,,,, daffy52

and pour a good stiff drink.

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:49 pm

minks wrote: and pour a good stiff drink. u got it lol daffy52 mine

a double scotch no ice,,,,

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:54 pm

5) Be able to take your daughter for her first bra fitting and have the ability to keep her from breaking down into tears.

6) Allow a 4 year old the time to bake cookies

7) Reflect on the times gone by when you were a size 4 with tears

8) Cry at each success of your children and spouse

9) Laugh when you can't find the TV remote and feel ok about yourself, and remind yourself that you do know how to use the buttons on the actual TV unit to change channels.

10) Appreciating the choices of such things like Underwire and Sports Bra's.

11) Being flexible on a date when you get a phone call from the babysitter asking you to come home because.........

OK I have said enough you get my drift.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:07 pm

Those are great Minks,

but ya forgot the quick hunt for clothes, when the kids disrupt the one time you and hubby think you might be able to have some luvin time. :wah:

daffodil52 · Post by **daffodil52** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:16 pm

Sheryl wrote: Those are great Minks,

but ya forgot the quick hunt for clothes, when the kids disrupt the one time you and hubby think you might be able to have some luvin time. :wah:

and i know a few dangerous words myself .. ] one house wife.[.... loldaffy 52

please to meet er sheryl .....

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:27 pm

daffodil52 wrote: and i know a few dangerous words myself .. ] one house wife.[.... loldaffy 52

please to meet er sheryl .....

Daffy you do suit your name ahahaha Housewife sheesh that will get ya a good kick to the shins hehehehe

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:28 pm

Sheryl wrote: Those are great Minks,

but ya forgot the quick hunt for clothes, when the kids disrupt the one time you and hubby think you might be able to have some luvin time. :wah:

ahahaha Sheryl that is funny, do tell which is more embarassing when your 4 year old interupts your luvin time or your 14 year old interupts your luvin time?? ahahahahaha

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:50 pm

Well give me bout 8 mores and I'll let ya know. I've only got a 6 yr old and 2 yr old now :wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:01 pm

Sheryl wrote: Well give me bout 8 mores and I'll let ya know. I've only got a 6 yr old and 2 yr old now :wah: 14

14

14

Minks whispers

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:06 pm

minks wrote: 14

14

14

Minks whispers

I figure 14 would be more embaressing, just cause of all the oh gross, you have to do that comments.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:07 pm

Sheryl wrote: I figure 14 would be more embaressing, just cause of all the oh gross, you have to do that comments.

or the embarassed silence at the breakfast table ahahahahaha

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:09 pm

ohh the joys of parenthood, looking forward to all the good times!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:15 pm

minks wrote: or the embarassed silence at the breakfast table ahahahahaha
What in the world made you think you could get some luvin' in at the breakfast table?? :yh_ooooo

:yh_rotfl

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:16 pm

Accountable wrote: What in the world made you think you could get some luvin' in at the breakfast table?? :yh_ooooo

:yh_rotfl

I thought the kid was going to sleep longer than she did sheesh ....

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:26 pm

minks wrote: I thought the kid was going to sleep longer than she did sheesh ....

ewwwww, you were gonna do it where you eat..........ewwwwwwwwww