Things your Parents taught you.

[Sheryl]

Here are a few key things

that your parents taught you! Granted, most of you will say that you

learned these things all on your own - but I can promise you that your

parents had a hand in there, as well.

1. Your Parents spoke to you of RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of

the carpet."

2. Your Parents piqued your first interest in TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you

into the middle of next week!"

3. Your Parents proved the theory of all LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. Your Parents gave you the gift of FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, you never know if you'll get into an

accident."

5. Parents were always good for teaching you IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. Even before biology class your parents taught you the fundamentals of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

7. They were always ready to suggest a career - even as a CONTORTIONIST.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

8. They instilled in you the importance of STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

9. You were taught that you even could control the WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. They taught you the basics principals of BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

11. Parents were the first to make you know ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

12. Your parents gave you that butterfly feeling of ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

13. They taught you what a marvelous gift it was to RECEIVE .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

14. Your parents studied MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

15. They were the first to instruct you HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

16. Your mother was likely the one skilled in GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

17. Parents got you to question your own ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

18. They were the very people that taught you WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

19. Long before you knew the laws of the world they instructed you in the ways of JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

and last but not least...

20. Your loving mother and father -

long before you had seen any Disney movie - taught you THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

[sunny104]

:wah:

[hotsauce]

oh, these were really cute!

[stewartcumming]

My mother once told me "if you fall off that wall and break your leg, don't come running to me"

[BabyRider]

stewartcumming wrote: My mother once told me "if you fall off that wall and break your leg, don't come running to me"
I guess that would be a lesson in irony, huh? :yh_eyebro

[stewartcumming]

BabyRider wrote: I guess that would be a lesson in irony, huh? :yh_eyebro


I did fall off the wall and I skinned my knee. I did go running to mum, and she 'kissed it better'

The lesson being

a) a mothers love is unconditional

b) a mothers patience is (almost) infinite

c) she's a damn sight smarter than I am

Strangely, that last one took me another 20 years to learn properly...

[Accountable]

stewartcumming wrote: I did fall off the wall and I skinned my knee. I did go running to mum, and she 'kissed it better'



The lesson being



a) a mothers love is unconditional



b) a mothers patience is (almost) infinite



c) she's a damn sight smarter than I am



Strangely, that last one took me another 20 years to learn properly...
Not to mention that moms' spit is the most powerful antisceptic cleanser known to exist. Kissing anything made it better, and her spit on a hanky cleaned the most stubborn grime!