Strictly tongue in cheek folks!

[BabyRider]

Headlines from the year 2029



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the

seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as

Mexifornia's third language.



Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.



Baby conceived naturally . scientists stumped.



Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.



Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American

Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).



Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least

10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.



France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.



Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported

legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and

reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.



Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.



Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast

shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

[A Karenina]

:wah: