Marriage license = ownership?

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:26 am

So, Nomad and I briefly touched on a subject I thought might be interesting. Have you ever been in a marriage where your spouse thought being your spouse meant they owned you? Ever known anyone who was? Are you now? Does it work, or do you want out?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:37 am

BabyRider wrote: So, Nomad and I briefly touched on a subject I thought might be interesting. Have you ever been in a marriage where your spouse thought being your spouse meant they owned you? Ever known anyone who was? Are you now? Does it work, or do you want out?
I was, I have, I am not now (Thank God) For independant women, it does not work. I did get out. I listen to women friends who are in these kind of relationships now. They are suffering, and they want out. The amount of self esteem and self confidence they have.. will determine whether or not they have the courage to get out. Unfortunately its a viscious circle. Their self worth becomes so low, that often they will fall for the same kind of partner again. The own you mentality seems to be an outlook held by those who grew up in the fifties ( I find) but then that opinion is a reflection of socializing with people in my own age group. Also, I just realized that I immediately related the topic to women .... I realize their are women who try to operate the "own you" outlook also. I have never been drawn to women with this outlook either. In my opinion, they also suffer from low self esteem, and are controll freaks. Always afraid they are going to loose their man. I find this behavior to be quite obnoxious.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 11:17 am

[quote=BabyRider]So, Nomad and I briefly touched on a subject I thought might be interesting. Have you ever been in a marriage where your spouse thought being your spouse meant they owned you? Ever known anyone who was? Are you now? Does it work, or do you want out?[/quote]

He used to but not now...and yes to the last part (I'm working on it)

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 11:34 am

I was, I have, and I am not now, and life is great!

You keep working on it Bez, the feeling of complete freedom is overwhelming! :-4

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 11:40 am

Never give up. Go get your freedom.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:49 pm

I had a girlfriend once in the 80s who was rich and bought me all kinds of stuff, a red guitar, a leather jacket, a CD player, etc.

After that, she thought that I should be at her beck and call 24/7. Once she even broke out my window and came into my house because I was sleeping and wouldn't answer the door.

I bailed out of that relationship like a penguin bails out of a lion seal's water hole!:D

MzInterpret · Post by **MzInterpret** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:02 pm

Yes!

Which is why I advocate that these marriage licences should preferably have an expiry date, but I will settle for a renewal date! :p

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:04 pm

When a truly great loving relationship occurs, a "marriage license" is only just the "leagalization" of that relationship, for convience & or for legal matters. "Ownership" (using the posted title's word) of one's self is really given freeely from one to the other because of that love, showing the admiration for one another. Ownership of one or the other being "demanded' by either party because of the "marriage license" most times will not work! I've said it before in other posts, & I'll say it again. "Marriage" is a 50 -50 proposition (give & take) on both sides, sometimes one side has more influence on matters then the other. And then sometimes the other way around.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:09 pm

MzInterpret wrote: Yes!

Which is why I advocate that these marriage licences should preferably have an expiry date, but I will settle for a renewal date! :p

Maybe the license could be 'transferrable '

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:17 pm

Is there anybody on here that believes they have found their 'soulmate'?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:28 pm

Betty Boop wrote: Is there anybody on here that believes they have found their 'soulmate'?yes :yh_yinyan

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:29 pm

Betty Boop wrote: Is there anybody on here that believes they have found their 'soulmate'?

I bet there is quite a few Betty...LC, BR etc. I wonder if it is possible to find a soulmate later in life ? Or should we 'golden oldies' not waste our energy searching ?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:31 pm

Bez wrote: Or should we 'golden oldies' not waste our energy searching ?bite your tongue!! the universe will send your soulmate, you needn't search.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:34 pm

Bez wrote: I bet there is quite a few Betty...LC, BR etc. I wonder if it is possible to find a soulmate later in life ? Or should we 'golden oldies' not waste our energy searching ?

Apparently there's one out there for everyone......................................

you never know Bez!

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:44 pm

Bez wrote: I bet there is quite a few Betty...LC, BR etc. I wonder if it is possible to find a soulmate later in life ? Or should we 'golden oldies' not waste our energy searching ?

Is there really an age when G-O's should stop looking? In the immortal words of Yogi Berra, It ain't over till it's over!!!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 11:17 pm

Betty Boop wrote: Is there anybody on here that believes they have found their 'soulmate'?
Without a doubt.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:05 am

From LC...."bite your tongue!! the universe will send your soulmate, you needn't search" :-4

From Betty...."Apparently there's one out there for everyone.........

From Cars...."Is there really an age when G-O's should stop looking? In the immortal words of Yogi Berra, It ain't over till it's over!!! " :yh_yinyan

From mrsK..."Never give up & never quit. You never know what you will find if you look hard enough" :-6

Thanks guys...you've given me hope....

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:27 am

Marriage should be a partnership; not an ownership.

CountryDweller · Post by **CountryDweller** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:43 am

BabyRider wrote: So, Nomad and I briefly touched on a subject I thought might be interesting. Have you ever been in a marriage where your spouse thought being your spouse meant they owned you? Ever known anyone who was? Are you now? Does it work, or do you want out?
No ownership. Will be married 36 years in May. :-4 We're completely two different types of personalities which compliment each other. I watch other couples stuggle with power issues in their marraiges and wonder why they choose to stay together. Harmony is so much better than being angry all the time.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:11 am

I married young. I was 18. We've had our ups and downs, but this August will be 10 years and I think we've finally got routine down. Marriage shouldn't be about ownership, it's about being partners.