They Said What?!

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Tombstone
Posts: 3686
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 12:00 pm

They Said What?!

Post by Tombstone »

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not

live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,

then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,

which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.



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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids

all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love

to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and

death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very

important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become

Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part

of my body,"

--Winston Bennett,

University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the

lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through

our papers. We are the president." (we are????)

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of

subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death

by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's

the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

does he know where he almost grew up???.....

--Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much

clean air do we need?" (I say all we can get, I'll

take his clean air)

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A

genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude

certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton, President

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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that

may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come

from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

````````````````

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective

March 1992 because we received notice that

you passed away. May God bless you. You may

reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack

in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their

heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when

they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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User avatar
minks
Posts: 26281
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

They Said What?!

Post by minks »

Brilliance reigns supreme

hehehehe
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
lady cop
Posts: 14744
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:00 pm

They Said What?!

Post by lady cop »

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the

lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC...........then of course there's barry's persistant use of crack cocaine...which, incidently, supports murderers. :(
User avatar
minks
Posts: 26281
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

They Said What?!

Post by minks »

lady cop wrote: Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the

lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC...........then of course there's barry's persistant use of crack cocaine...which, incidently, supports murderers. :(


ahhh humans aren't they great hehehehehe
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
User avatar
abbey
Posts: 15069
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

They Said What?!

Post by abbey »

Just goes to show, you dont always need brains to get on in life!:yh_silly
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