a friend's suicide

Discuss Mental Health topics & issues.
lady cop
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a friend's suicide

Post by lady cop »

i'm in shock. one of my dearest friends of 18 years just told me how her husband went in the next room and shot himself in the head. she told me all the horror she was experiencing, the anger, the grief. he was my friend as well, we spent so many wonderful days together out in keys waters, diving, fishing, cooking up the catch at night. the annual fourth of july sandbar parties off islamorada, i even gave him my pet bird because he adored him. i'm stunned. i haven't cried yet, but i know i will, memories are starting to wash over me like a flood. my friend is never going to be the same. i suppose all i can do is let her talk about it all she needs to.
observer1
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a friend's suicide

Post by observer1 »

lady cop wrote: i'm in shock. one of my dearest friends of 18 years just told me how her husband went in the next room and shot himself in the head. she told me all the horror she was experiencing, the anger, the grief. he was my friend as well, we spent so many wonderful days together out in keys waters, diving, fishing, cooking up the catch at night. the annual fourth of july sandbar parties off islamorada, i even gave him my pet bird because he adored him. i'm stunned. i haven't cried yet, but i know i will, memories are starting to wash over me like a flood. my friend is never going to be the same. i suppose all i can do is let her talk about it all she needs to.


I'm so very sorry, LC. I had 2 dear friends do the same thing. One was shortly after talking to me on the phone. You go through many emotions. You & your friend will be in my thoughts & prayers. :-1 :-1
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minks
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a friend's suicide

Post by minks »

Oh LC how awful for you and your friend. Don't hold anything back the crying is part of healing and you know we are all here for you.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
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SOJOURNER
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a friend's suicide

Post by SOJOURNER »

LC, hopefully the words will come to you to comfort your friend,

and in so doing, you will be helping yourself too. I'm sorry for your loss.
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Bez
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a friend's suicide

Post by Bez »

LC...there are no appropriate words...xxx :-4 hang on in there gal..
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
lady cop
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a friend's suicide

Post by lady cop »

my heart is breaking for her,if you could only have heard her on the phone. i am shaking from it. she relived every moment.
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Uncle Kram
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a friend's suicide

Post by Uncle Kram »

Love and big hugs to you LC :yh_hugs


THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN PUN
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chonsigirl
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a friend's suicide

Post by chonsigirl »

Oh LC, we all love you, and our hearts are with you and your friend.
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venus
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a friend's suicide

Post by venus »

I am very sorry to hear of this news LC.

Please accept my condolences.

This is obviously a hard time for you and your friend, but at least she does have friends like yourself to help her through it.
take a bite out of life it's there to be tasted!!
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abbey
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a friend's suicide

Post by abbey »

I know exactly the emotions you are feeling right now LC,

My love and thoughts are with you. XOXO :-4
Jives
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a friend's suicide

Post by Jives »

I'm so sorry, LC. Was her husband a police officer like you? I know that the stress of dealing with the worst element of society on a daily basis is sometimes too much.

My experience with this kind of thing is only with people that are manic / depressive. Did he have this disease? Oh...and teens. I've had a couple of students do this.

My most sincere condolences to both you and your friend.:-1
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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cars
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a friend's suicide

Post by cars »

lady cop wrote: i'm in shock. one of my dearest friends of 18 years just told me how her husband went in the next room and shot himself in the head. she told me all the horror she was experiencing, the anger, the grief. he was my friend as well, we spent so many wonderful days together out in keys waters, diving, fishing, cooking up the catch at night. the annual fourth of july sandbar parties off islamorada, i even gave him my pet bird because he adored him. i'm stunned. i haven't cried yet, but i know i will, memories are starting to wash over me like a flood. my friend is never going to be the same. i suppose all i can do is let her talk about it all she needs to.


Yep it's a crying shame, especially when it comes without any warning. I know how you feel, 4 years ago I had a friend who worked for me, and he just brought his 4 kids & wife to our companies "Family day" picnic, our families had lunch together. He seemed fine, later that night when the family went to sleep, he went out into the garage, closed the garage door, got into the car, started it, and was found the next morning. He left a note, all it said was: "I can't go on"! We were all in shock filled grief!!! :-1 (You & your friend will be in my thoughts & prayers)
Cars :)
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BabyRider
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a friend's suicide

Post by BabyRider »

I know exactly what you're going through, too, LC and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Much love to you and your friends.



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Lil~Basco
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a friend's suicide

Post by Lil~Basco »

Oh LC....my prayers are with you and your friend. Just be there for her to vent as much as she needs to. It does helps alot to have someone to lean on. Hugs to you.
lady cop
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a friend's suicide

Post by lady cop »

no Jives, he wasn't a cop. although cops are prone to it. i wonder if when someone is in extremis like that, if they think about what they will put their loved ones through? the suffering and guilt. the horror. the questions. and to let her discover him. she said "why?? why did he leave me???"
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venus
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a friend's suicide

Post by venus »

I think to take your own life is both selfish and brave, its the family and friends that are left behind who really suffer..

always wondering!!!!!
take a bite out of life it's there to be tasted!!
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hotsauce
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a friend's suicide

Post by hotsauce »

yes, just be there for her! she is lucky to have you. so, terribly sad. i'm sorry.
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Betty Boop
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a friend's suicide

Post by Betty Boop »

Thinking of you both, :-4



Thankfully I have never had experience of this type of situation, I guess I'm very lucky.
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Nomad
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a friend's suicide

Post by Nomad »

Suicide is shocking. Its almost incomprehensible to me. I can think of nothing that is less difficult to absorb or understand and it leaves the survivors helpless.

Be a friend. Its all you can do.

Love her.
I AM AWESOME MAN
lady cop
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a friend's suicide

Post by lady cop »

i do love her...her young son was killed on a motorcycle a few years back, and i stayed with her for many days. she's not geographically close enough for me to do the same now, or i would. but i will make sure we talk daily.
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Rapunzel
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a friend's suicide

Post by Rapunzel »

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your friend and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you both.
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nvalleyvee
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a friend's suicide

Post by nvalleyvee »

Take care of yourself and be there for your friend LC. What a sad thing to happen. I cannot understand the emotions behind suicide because I have never thought that way. My best to your friend and her family.
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
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Sheryl
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a friend's suicide

Post by Sheryl »

I'm so sorry LC, huggz to you and your friend. You both are in my prayers.
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my son
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valerie
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a friend's suicide

Post by valerie »

Words are so inadequate.



I can only echo everyone's thoughts LC and say I will be thinking of

you and your friend.
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weeder
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a friend's suicide

Post by weeder »

Incredibly painful. Your helping your friend(as you always do) will help you deal with another terribly sad event.
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lady cop
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a friend's suicide

Post by lady cop »

i really appreciate the kind condolences, but i have to say this, i was not seeking sympathy, i was hoping to start a conversation about what effects suicide has on those left behind. she is crushed and devastated, hell, she lost a son too! me, i am very sad and dredging up 18 years of memories. but i am not crushed. i am just worried about her. she said many things to me which are so poignant...like she did not plan to spend her old age alone after so many years of marriage. how terribly sad. :-1
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valerie
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a friend's suicide

Post by valerie »

I willl relate one story that is pretty current, for me. I have a friend that I

see in the mornings on my walk, and have seen him for years. He has a

dog, Sonny, that I give "cookies" to.



Roger is a recovering alcoholic, a little over 10 years now. Slowly, over

time and our morning chats, he's told me a little bit about his life. His

wife committed suicide shortly after 9/11. Roger, through circumstance

I imagine, still lives in the house where she did it. She did it in the garage,

and he can hardly bring himself to go in there, he thinks about it every

time he does. He sees a therapist. He has extreme guilt. He has not,

to his credit, started drinking again. I am soooo glad he has Sonny, who

was his wife's dog before he married her. Sonny gets him out and about,

without him I am afraid of what Roger would do. The really sad scary thing

is although he's healthy, Sonny is getting on in years.



Roger is able to laugh with me about something on occasion, but

overall he's very down. I can't do any more than listen, and it's not

much, but I do worry.



:-1
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CARLA
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a friend's suicide

Post by CARLA »

Sorry I didn't see this LC what a shame, such pain and anguish for your friend. :-1 I'm not sure there is ever a clear reason sometimes for suicide. Just incredible pain for the survivors who blame themselves sometimes. :-1 :-1

Was he in ill health and keeping it from her?? Who knows...

All you can do is be there for her, and let her grieve...:-1

Suicide is high in the medical industry as well, Doctor, and Nurses often buckle under the pressure.

Your friend had suffered two major deaths she is going to need lots of help to get through this, as you said she may never be the same again..
ALOHA!!

MOTTO TO LIVE BY:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.

WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"

weeder
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a friend's suicide

Post by weeder »

Well then, many people call suicide an act of cowardly, and terribly selfish because of the pain it inflicts on loved ones left behind. They are never able to get an answer as to why their loved one took their own life. Many of those left behind spent the rest of their lives searching for answers. So it isnt just the heartache of missing someone. It is mentally agonizing every single day wondering why. No one should have to endure this kind of suffering. It is sad that your friends husband took his own life, but my heart goes out to her. I was with a beautiful and intelligent new friend just last night. She was describing ,in detail, the many times she has considered slashing her wrists because of marital problems. Im thinking that maybe a phone call as a concerned friend, to her therapist is in order.
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