What's a guy to do?

telaquapacky · Post by **telaquapacky** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:56 pm

flopstock wrote:

Should he go for it? Only if he wants to be alone for a long time again. A guy who wants a committed relationship shouldn't mess with any woman that he wouldn't be wholly committed to himself. We're not kids anymore.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:21 pm

flopstock wrote: I have a friend, who after a rather long period alone finds himself pretty much in a relationship.. seems to be going well, has some real potential in my opinion, but who's to say.. I've seen sure bets head south before..

His dilema? A girl he's dated a couple of times in the past(never 'had'), calls and leaves him a few voicemails in the last week.. the first asks if he'd like to stop by and **** her brains out.. after that one she got a little graphic..:rolleyes:

Should he go for it?

He hasn't made any formal commitment to the lady he's seeing.. or, should he be grateful for what he has and not risk upsetting the boat? I know he'd like to settle down and who knows what would happen if she found out..

I probably wasn't the best person for him to ask.. I said if he's thinking about her, do it.. get it out of his system..enjoy what may be his last wild moment..

I told him I knew some folks with a tad more 'conventional' thinking when it comes to sex and relationships then I appear to have, so I would ask for some input and get back to him on it..

So, let me have your gut reaction.. what would you do if given an opportunity in a similar situation...

The broad that called him and left a message really sounds like a classy lady, one that I am sure would make a good faithful wife and loving mother.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:52 am

Who says there has to be any committment or promises made on either side? If nothing has been set in stone, no promises made, no boundaries set, no exclusiveness made clear, heck, do what the hell you want!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:59 am

mrsK wrote: I am tipping she is a first class lady & good relationship material:-3 ..........................................NOT
I didn't get from Flop's post that the guy in question here was looking for a llife-long soul mate, but a lay. If it's not a significant relationship he's after, why not go for it? We're talking sex here, not lasting relationships.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:22 am

To quote Flop's original post:

He hasn't made any formal commitment to the lady he's seeing..

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:31 am

mrsK wrote: This is the part I am getting at

I have a friend, who after a rather long period alone finds himself pretty much in a relationship.. seems to be going well, has some real potential in my opinion, but who's to say.. I've seen sure bets head south before..:-6
Then I guess I just don't get what you're "getting at" at all. Are you for or against this friend getting lucky regardless of his current relationship status?

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:32 am

He's made no commitments to the one he's with,

i think he should go boff her.

I just wonder why he came and asked in the 1st place?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:05 am

If your walking down a road,making good time,and your destination is in sight....taking a detour can make you late,get you lost...or keep you from ever arriving where you wanted to go when you started out.

telaquapacky · Post by **telaquapacky** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:20 am

flopstock wrote: I have a friend, who after a rather long period alone finds himself pretty much in a relationship.. seems to be going well, has some real potential in my opinion, but who's to say.. I've seen sure bets head south before..

His dilema? A girl he's dated a couple of times in the past(never 'had'), calls and leaves him a few voicemails in the last week.. the first asks if he'd like to stop by and **** her brains out.. after that one she got a little graphic..:rolleyes:

The girl probably heard that he's getting serious with someone else and is grasping after him out of jealousy. Once she's won her victory- wrecked that budding relationship and had her kicks, she'll get on the phone looking for another doofus.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:25 am

He can either go for it and risk the relationship possibility or not go for it and risk that the relationship he's in won't go anywhere. Myself, I would not go for it if I were him if he is really looking for a serious relationship. How many other guys has she called and left similar messages? Too many diseases out there to make the risk worth it.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:01 am

Ok,Good relationships are hard enough too matain by themselves as it is without the complications of a "on the side romp).He should nerture the one he has and spend his time develuping it too last.And we know that there is never going too be a thing as a perfect relationship.and now for the other woman;

Hosebags like that are a dime a dozen,this girl calls from out of the blue and wants too lay pipe for no good reason? Perhaps the guy who's name was above your buddys name was busy? and a girl that solicits sex by reviewing her past partners is not of relationship stock,and your friend could of many partners this woman bangs around with,she obviousy has low selfestem.So if she called one man for sex she probly has others too go too or just a stranger will do.S.T.D.'s are hard too introduce into a relationship that did'nt come with them.If your freind want a long term relationship then he has too work at it and take his chances wiht the one who cares for him as a person.

Add leave the bimbo alone.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:06 am

OK,Good relationships are hard enough too mantian by themselves as it is without the complications of a "on the side romp).He should nurture the one he has and spend his time developing it too last.And we know that there is never going too be a thing as a perfect relationship.and now for the other woman;

Hosebags like that are a dime a dozen,this girl calls from out of the blue and wants too lay pipe for no good reason? Perhaps the guy who's name was above your Buddy's name was busy? and a girl that solicits sex by reviewing her past partners is not of relationship stock,and your friend could of many partners this woman bangs around with,she obviously has low self esteem.So if she called one man for sex she probably has others too go too or just a stranger will do.S.T.D.'s are hard too introduce into a relationship that didn't come with them.If your Friend want a long term relationship then he has too work at it and take his chances with the one who cares for him as a person.

Add leave the bimbo alone.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:55 am

Everyone sure is quick to pass judgement on the woman looking to get laid here....She's been called everything from a bimbo to basically a slut.

Here's a news flash that just mught drag some of you kicking and screeching into the 21st century: women like sex, just for the sake of sex. No, really, I mean it....women really do like, and are entitled to, just "getting laid." It doesn't have to be some deep, heartfelt, "make the earth move" searching for the meaning in my life type of thing, it can just be sex, plain and simple. Women have physical needs just like men do, only when we fulfill them, we're called sluts, when guys get them fulfilled, they're called "studs." Go figure....

telaquapacky · Post by **telaquapacky** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 10:25 am

Some say, "Well, he isn't yet committed..." Is it a mere business contract, like, "I'll take another dip in the pool before I dry off and sign on the dotted line"? Is the average person's concept of commitment that shallow? Egad!

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 11:14 am

Sounds like a casual relationship I had once with another bachelorette. We'd go out occasionally, see a movie or go to dinner, go to bed...then not see each other for a couple of months.

At the time we both liked it that way.

I'm of the opinion that when you meet the girl / guy of your dreams...

YOU'LL KNOW IT INSTANTLY!:D

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 11:17 am

I dunno, it'd be an easy decision for me. If I wasn't that serious with the person I was dating and didn't see that relationship going anywhere and I was interested in someone else I would go for it!

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:23 pm

Despite what each woman has to offer Floppy I think your guy friend has to decide what he wants in the future. If he goes for the quick Lay is he prone to do it again and again? Is it sending the right message to the woman who offered as in "yes any time feel free to call with the offer"? Does he still have those desires with that woman?

Secondly is he truly after a serious commitment? Is he happy where he is with his current relationship? and if he is then he should not stray if he really wants to make it last.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 3:20 pm

Oh just let'em bang the tramp and get it over with,the girl he's with now will love competition and perhaps one up him and bang some guy just for fun,safe sex is sooooooo overrated

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:24 pm

JAB wrote: Is there a reason why they never had sex when they were dating? Was that any part of why they no longer are together?

flopstock wrote: Nope, I think he met them both around the same time. The 'caller' just seemed to be looking for more of a 'friends' relationship at the time, as opposed to a 'friends with benefits' now. The one he's been seeing 'regular like' struck me as a fuller relationship..

My first thought was that this girl is pregnant. Maybe the 'father' did a runner or would make a terrible dad, whereas your friend might make a wonderful father and is probably financially secure. If this is the case then she wants to shag your mate so she can tell him in a few weeks time that she's gonna have his baby!

So tell him not to be surprised when it's premature!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:28 pm

Rapunzel wrote: My first thought was that this girl is pregnant. Maybe the 'father' did a runner or would make a terrible dad, whereas your friend might make a wonderful father and is probably financially secure. If this is the case then she wants to shag your mate so she can tell him in a few weeks time that she's gonna have his baby!

So tell him not to be surprised when it's premature!

EXCELLENT point.

If he isn't sure what to do, perhaps he feels more for his current date than he admits to even hisself?

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:48 pm

flopstock wrote: That's too funny..was my first thought too..:wah:

Didn't share that with him of course.. figured it was just one to many soaps in my younger days..lol But perhaps she watches them too..

As the song says........"Life's a stage. And all the people on it merely players"

telaquapacky · Post by **telaquapacky** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:25 pm

flopstock wrote: Well that's a statement that's kinda out of line, IMO. He's NOT committed - so you think he's shallow for not being committed in an uncommitted relationship? :-2 There hasn't been any discussion between the two on exclusive dating, so far as I am aware. He doesn't need her permission to act, he just wonders for himself if he should...Rather, "out of fashion." To say one's concept of commitment is shallow and to say the person is shallow are two different things. But I would not feel very valuable to someone who came to me as if she were merely changing teams from yesterday. The value two people place on each other determines how long they'll last. The lady who became my wife told me while we were courting, "You have my undivided attention." I took stock of myself and determined to live up to her estimation of me. I have never forgotten those words. People aren't commodities- I don't believe in treating dating like a shopping trip.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:24 pm

Shweet tatersalad wrote: Oh just let'em bang the tramp and get it over with,the girl he's with now will love competition and perhaps one up him and bang some guy just for fun,safe sex is sooooooo overrated

This is sarcasm boys and girls,I don't do the Doctor Phil thing well.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:07 pm

Let's just call this thing what it is: a booty call. The girl's in need, no one is committed to anyone, wrap it up, twice if you have to, and everyone is happy. Sex is sex. Making love is something else entirely. Sounds like she wants sex, it doesn't have to be the end-all be-all of her (or his) existence. Two consenting adults doing what comes natural. What IS the big deal?