What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !
What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !
Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !
How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !
What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?
Fancy a bite ?
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with !
Christmas Jokes
Christmas Jokes
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-phabet.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L. (Noel)
The elf-phabet.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L. (Noel)
Christmas Jokes
ELF wrote: What do elves learn in school?
The elf-phabet.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L. (Noel)
More 'Elf jokes' tomorrow....and maybe some Santa jokes....mustn't offend the old chap though ....getting too close to Christmas
The elf-phabet.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L. (Noel)
More 'Elf jokes' tomorrow....and maybe some Santa jokes....mustn't offend the old chap though ....getting too close to Christmas
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
-
StupidCowboyTricks
- Posts: 1899
- Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:51 pm
Christmas Jokes
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Santa Paws !
Someone asked me why I swear so much. I said, "Just becuss.":)
-
StupidCowboyTricks
- Posts: 1899
- Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:51 pm
Christmas Jokes
A teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols.
Here are some of the humorous lines she received:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer. (All of the other reindeer)
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
Here are some of the humorous lines she received:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer. (All of the other reindeer)
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
Someone asked me why I swear so much. I said, "Just becuss.":)
Christmas Jokes
Scrooge Jokes...........
Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do that?
He was trying to save time!
What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game?
Mean-opoly.
Scrooge broke his clock, he punched and then stamped on it
Why did he do that?
He said it was self-defence. He said the clock struck first!
Teacher: If I have 20p and ask Scrooge for another 30p how much will I have?
Pupil: Please, miss, 20p!
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Pupil: Please, miss, you don't know Scrooge!
Scrooge: Are you superstitious?'
'Not at all,' came the reply.
'Good,' Scrooge said. 'Then will you lend me £13 please?'
Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do that?
He was trying to save time!
What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game?
Mean-opoly.
Scrooge broke his clock, he punched and then stamped on it
Why did he do that?
He said it was self-defence. He said the clock struck first!
Teacher: If I have 20p and ask Scrooge for another 30p how much will I have?
Pupil: Please, miss, 20p!
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Pupil: Please, miss, you don't know Scrooge!
Scrooge: Are you superstitious?'
'Not at all,' came the reply.
'Good,' Scrooge said. 'Then will you lend me £13 please?'
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
Elf jokes.....
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
How do you describe a rich elf?
Welfy
How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!
If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be?
The twelf
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOGon"!
What do elves sing to Santa?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!
What do Elves use to go from floor to floor?
An Elfevator
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
How do you describe a rich elf?
Welfy
How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!
If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be?
The twelf
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOGon"!
What do elves sing to Santa?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!
What do Elves use to go from floor to floor?
An Elfevator
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
..............Christmas Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !
Who's there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... !Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake
Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !
Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
Why was Cinderella such a poor football player ?
She had a pumpkin for a coach !
What's beautiful, grey and wears glass slippers ?
Cinderellephant!
What's the scariest pantomime ?
Ghouldilocks and the three bears !
On which side of the house did Jack's beanstalk grow ?
The outside !
Who looked after Finderella ?
Her fairy codmother !
What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?
A phantomime !
What did Cinderella say when the Chemist lost her photographs ?
Someday my prints will come !
What kind of pet did Aladdin have ?
A flying car-pet !
Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?
Because the poor didn't have any !
Who in Treasure Island has a parrot that cries "Pieces of four, Pieces of four " ?
Short John Silver !
She had a pumpkin for a coach !
What's beautiful, grey and wears glass slippers ?
Cinderellephant!
What's the scariest pantomime ?
Ghouldilocks and the three bears !
On which side of the house did Jack's beanstalk grow ?
The outside !
Who looked after Finderella ?
Her fairy codmother !
What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?
A phantomime !
What did Cinderella say when the Chemist lost her photographs ?
Someday my prints will come !
What kind of pet did Aladdin have ?
A flying car-pet !
Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?
Because the poor didn't have any !
Who in Treasure Island has a parrot that cries "Pieces of four, Pieces of four " ?
Short John Silver !
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
Christmas Jokes
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home