Why Don't I Fall Apart?

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:20 pm

Maybe the tears will come at some point... but maybe they won't.

Maybe it's just your body's way of handling things.

I know if you were around me in a similar situation, it would be a great

relief to have a funny statement/story.

I'm always much better at the time something happens, it's only later

I might "fall apart" and I think that's okay.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:24 pm

[QUOTE=Far Rider]Floppy, some folks are the leaders and some are the followers, you will miss her and you will find the time to grieve, right then and there you needed to be what it is that you are, a strong woman who cares enough about folks to fill the gap.

I have to agree with Far on this one. You knew what had to be done and jumped in, a reaction thing.

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:49 pm

Everyone grieves in their own way.

Everyone has different gifts to share.

Your gift is a strength which creates a safe harbor for their souls to grieve. I would be so thankful to have someone like you with me during such a trying time.

When you may one day need such support, your needs will be probablly be satisfied by another, such as yourself, who will be there for you in a way that you need them to be.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:38 pm

I had a young friend who's mother committed suicide...the girl was 16 and her brothers younger. I stayed strong and dry eyed for a week and stayed in control and supportive for her. I didn't cry until after the funeral. There's a lot more to the story, but you do what you have to do at the time....time for tears will come when you're ready....it doesn't change what's in you heart.

When my Dad died I was heartbroken...but I never cried once. When my mum died 20 years later I couldn't stop crying for a week.

:-4 :yh_hugs

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:41 pm

Like Bez said, you cry at certain times and stay strong at other ones. You stayed strong Floppy, when it was needed. You were there, and did what you could. You are a brave woman, and we all admire you. You don't have to shed tears to be touched by a situation, or feel the deep pain inside.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:21 pm

Floppy, if and when you do shed tears, don't forget we'll be here for you. Don't question yourself, your reactions so far have been the right ones in the circumstances.:yh_hugs :-4

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:30 pm

ahhh Floppy...some people are endowed with stoicism when it's necessary. mentally and physically, witness how 97 pound people can lift a car off a person caught underneath. i don't know how to explain it except anecdotely, but within 1 year i watched my relatively young parents die horrble deaths. i was cold as a fish throughout the ordeal because someone HAD to take care of everything. it took me years to grieve properly. i still do in fact. and i am totally unaffected at the worst scenes i've seen. or at least i think so, until later. bottom line is what others here have said, you have reserves of strength that come to the fore when you are needed. bless you xoxoxox:-4

venus · Post by **venus** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:07 pm

Hunni like its been said, you stayed strong because you were needed.

Everyone acts in their own way to grief and this can differ from time to time.

She needed you and you were thare that says it all:)

Valerie100 · Post by **Valerie100** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:57 pm

Floppy, death is sad no matter what. There were two people in my life that when they died, I couldn't cry. My ex-husband's grandmother and my own grandmother, neither of which, I was very close to, or even felt close to. Don't worry, it's normal. It just depends on where your feelings are for the person. If you never had any feelings for the person in the first place, obviously, it's not necessary that you cry about them.

annie58 · Post by **annie58** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:20 am

Hi Floppy

When my first husband was alive he was my rock and I didn't need to be strong because he was the shoulder for me to lean on or cry on.

When he passed away things changed. He passed on all his strength to me. I didn't cry at his funeral, but was strong for my 2 children & the one that I was carrying. I had to be strong for his mother & sister. This was 10 years ago. My brother died 8 years ago but I also didn't cry then. My father passed away 6 years ago and I had to be strong for my mother & sister.

Now this seems like I'm not emotional but I am. When I see a certain film or hear a certain piece of music I will start blubbering away. When I think of my hubby on my own I will cry until I'm satiated. I don't cry easily in front of people because deep down inside me I have to be strong for my children & my second hubby. I know that when my mother passes away (hopefully not for a long time yet - she's 85) I know I will have to be strong for my sister & my hubby because he loves my mum to bits.

Everyone deals with the passing of someone in their own way. Not everyone breaks down or throws themselves on the floor. Don't worry. Your grief will come when you least expect it but don't hide it, let it flow naturally.

Love, light & blessings

Annie

.:TWIZTIDlMANSON:. · Post by **.:TWIZTIDlMANSON:.** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:55 pm

i never cry when someone dies... idk i think it depends on the person i mean by the time i was 10 i went to tons of fuerals and since i was 14 i never cried when i heard of them dying or when i go to the funeral.....:-3

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:50 pm

Far Rider;183890 wrote: Do you like cats? And if so how do you prepare them?:D

I really hope that doesn't mean what i think it means.

This is not the place for jokes.