We want to be able to be ourselves, and not have to give up parts of who we are to have a relationship. We do not want to be babysitters, and inherit your chores in life as ours, simply because we are female. We do not want to be held responsible for the mistakes your mom, ex wife, or girlfriend made. We do not want to hear horror stories, or hateful remarks about your past mates. We do not want to give up achieving in life because it threatens your masculinity. We want you to encourage us to be the best we can be, because taht is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone you love. We want you to stand on your own two feet, and not suck us dry emmotionally. We want you to say what you mean and mean what you say. We want you to learn how to listen. Then who we are will not be a surprise to you 3 years up the road. We want you to be kind, thoughtful, funny, industrious, and romantic. Humble, yet assertive.... forceful, yet weak...sociable yet attentive, insightful yet able to learn.........Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
There will never be anyone out there for me...Ha Ha Ha We will drive you out of your mind!!!!!!!!!!!
What do women want?
What do women want?
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
-
Wednesday's Child
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 1:00 pm
What do women want?
When we first meet......
Often we present ourselves as the best we can be - but nobody can be their "best" every day.
The relationship with women and men should include all the real life situations too and how people relate to each other in bad times as well as good times.
I am amazed that people actually start talking lifelong marriage when all they know of someone is how they appear on a date, planned and promoted like some stage play.
We need to start removing our diguises and the "pretty" conversation and get down to honest emotions and reactions to things in life, to show each other
what we are like inside, not the outside covering. We don't give our "getting to know each other" enough time or exposure to the real person inside.
The most often phrase I hear is "she changed" or "he isn't the man I married"....
Find out beneath the pretty surface what the person you think you love is really like before you segue from the dating dance into the marriage muddle.
There is plenty to invest in here...and people aren't taking the time to be truthful with each other about themselves. If you know what you are and who you love.... and each of you have been secure enough to be up front about it.... and you are still in love..... you have a good chance of staying pretty much the same person through the marriage too.
I believe most of us have fallen for all the phony advertising build-up and "how the world thinks we should be"..... instead of being true to ourselves.
One final fact which hurts:
People don't change in the future because you love them or because you want them to - so very much. People only change when they are willing to for their own reasons. Marriage isn't the answer for change or improvement. It only makes sex more convenient and available. And life isn't all sex.
Often we present ourselves as the best we can be - but nobody can be their "best" every day.
The relationship with women and men should include all the real life situations too and how people relate to each other in bad times as well as good times.
I am amazed that people actually start talking lifelong marriage when all they know of someone is how they appear on a date, planned and promoted like some stage play.
We need to start removing our diguises and the "pretty" conversation and get down to honest emotions and reactions to things in life, to show each other
what we are like inside, not the outside covering. We don't give our "getting to know each other" enough time or exposure to the real person inside.
The most often phrase I hear is "she changed" or "he isn't the man I married"....
Find out beneath the pretty surface what the person you think you love is really like before you segue from the dating dance into the marriage muddle.
There is plenty to invest in here...and people aren't taking the time to be truthful with each other about themselves. If you know what you are and who you love.... and each of you have been secure enough to be up front about it.... and you are still in love..... you have a good chance of staying pretty much the same person through the marriage too.
I believe most of us have fallen for all the phony advertising build-up and "how the world thinks we should be"..... instead of being true to ourselves.
One final fact which hurts:
People don't change in the future because you love them or because you want them to - so very much. People only change when they are willing to for their own reasons. Marriage isn't the answer for change or improvement. It only makes sex more convenient and available. And life isn't all sex.
What do women want?
"I am amazed that people actually start talking lifelong marriage when all they know of someone is how they appear on a date, planned and promoted like some stage play."
When I was single, I had one guy just meet me and start talking about if we had children together what they would look like. I looked at him and said, "We just met and you are talking about children together?" Needless to say, I wouldn't go out with him.
Another guy knew me for about an hour, a friend introduced us, and started talking marriage. I tried to be nice, but he called every day and the conversation always turned to marriage. Finally, I just had to come out and tell him that I had no intention of dating him, much less marrying him.
Too often, I think people marry someone just for the sake of being married. They "settle" for someone instead of waiting for the right person to come along and then wonder why it doesn't work out.
When I was single, I had one guy just meet me and start talking about if we had children together what they would look like. I looked at him and said, "We just met and you are talking about children together?" Needless to say, I wouldn't go out with him.
Another guy knew me for about an hour, a friend introduced us, and started talking marriage. I tried to be nice, but he called every day and the conversation always turned to marriage. Finally, I just had to come out and tell him that I had no intention of dating him, much less marrying him.
Too often, I think people marry someone just for the sake of being married. They "settle" for someone instead of waiting for the right person to come along and then wonder why it doesn't work out.
-
Wednesday's Child
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 1:00 pm
What do women want?
Lady Cop
Wow those guys don't believe in long term do they?
I think loneliness drives many people into marriage thinking they will adjust to each other and it doesn't work, in fact they are a "lonely" couple after wondering what went wrong.
We are talking what, fifty years give or take here? It's a good idea to treat it like a radical surgical event affecting a person for life, rather than playing house.
Wow those guys don't believe in long term do they?
I think loneliness drives many people into marriage thinking they will adjust to each other and it doesn't work, in fact they are a "lonely" couple after wondering what went wrong.
We are talking what, fifty years give or take here? It's a good idea to treat it like a radical surgical event affecting a person for life, rather than playing house.
-
A Karenina
- Posts: 968
- Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:36 am
What do women want?
Radical surgery? I'm half laughing, and not knowing what to think of that at the same time.
I've had the same kind of experiences that Peg wrote about. Some man asked me to marry him and move to Mexico after 2 months of casual conversations about music. Another man fessed up about his prison record so we'd have an "honest" relationship after he proposed.
And then the other guy who's been on my case lately because I won't date him, much less "settle down" and in his view, this is what I should do. I used to meet him for coffee until one day last year he informed me that women should not have strong opinions about things - I should let him make up my mind for me. I don't get mad about these types of things. I think I get so shocked that I just start laughing and can't stop. Mind you, this man is in his 40's and lives with his parents because he won't do anything to improve his own life and support himself. To me, that is a total lack of self-respect.
The point ... ah yes, what was the point? (LOL) There are many people out there who have little concept of what life is, much less how to share it with someone. It doesn't surprise me that they want to marry right away - they aren't looking at their partners as a whole person. Perhaps they don't look at themselves as one, either.
I've had the same kind of experiences that Peg wrote about. Some man asked me to marry him and move to Mexico after 2 months of casual conversations about music. Another man fessed up about his prison record so we'd have an "honest" relationship after he proposed.
And then the other guy who's been on my case lately because I won't date him, much less "settle down" and in his view, this is what I should do. I used to meet him for coffee until one day last year he informed me that women should not have strong opinions about things - I should let him make up my mind for me. I don't get mad about these types of things. I think I get so shocked that I just start laughing and can't stop. Mind you, this man is in his 40's and lives with his parents because he won't do anything to improve his own life and support himself. To me, that is a total lack of self-respect.
The point ... ah yes, what was the point? (LOL) There are many people out there who have little concept of what life is, much less how to share it with someone. It doesn't surprise me that they want to marry right away - they aren't looking at their partners as a whole person. Perhaps they don't look at themselves as one, either.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle
Aristotle
What do women want?
Well, Plazul, you do pose a great question! I read through a lot of the replies, and it seems like everyone is confused! I can't tell you what EVERY woman wants, but I can tell you what makes me happy with my man.
My fiance and I share opinions about a lot of things. We have similar interests, and a few things that we see differently, which makes for interesting conversation. Always being able to challenge the other. Mentally, that is. We respect each other. When an issue comes up that is bothering one of us, we bring it to the other's attention and hash it out till it's fixed and if it can't be fixed and won't cause resentment, we agree to disagree.
Always remembering that a relationship takes work is important. You can't expect the situation to take care of itself if left alone. Keeping things interesting, (in AND out of the bedroom) is vital. We don't take each other for granted if we can help it. When it does happen, we call each other on it. I also believe, (because he taught me) that a relationship is almost never 50/50. Sometimes it's 60/40, sometimes it's 80/20. You need to be able to rely on your partner to take up the slack when it's needed, and be prepared to do the same.
I also believe that in any relationship, personal, business, and everything in between, there is one person who just automatically assumes a dominant position. And even that changes. Whoever has the strengths in dealing with any particular situation takes the lead.
I believe there is a line to walk. For both people. My fiance knows my "line" and I know his. He is very protective of me, but dosen't treat me as if I am helpless or weak. He knows I can usually take care of myself, but is right there to back me up if I can't. There is a balance...I want to be independent, AND able to depend on him.
We respect each other's space, privacy, and emotions. We don't argue about petty things, we pick our battles. Because let's face it, most things that couples argue about (that's argue, not full-blown fights) are rather small things and will be forgotten quickly. We don't waste time on things that aren't going to affect the rest of our lives.
We take arguments to a private setting. If something comes up in public, one of us says, "Ok, this bothers me" and it is set aside until we are alone. We will not embarass each other in public. And we always go back to it, to discuss, and work out without accusations or mud-slinging.
I think someone said that women always want to change a man. And I think they are right. I had done it in previous relationships. And I really can't say why that happens. This time, however, the man I fell in love with is exactly who I want him to be. I wouldn't have him change a thing. And maybe we are just lucky. It took me 34 years and wading through several assholes to find him. If he was any different, he wouldn't be the man I fell for.
Well. Don't I sound like a babbling know-it-all? Sorry for the rambling. What works for us may not work for everyone. It's a learning process. And even as happy as we are, we also are learning. Good Luck!
My fiance and I share opinions about a lot of things. We have similar interests, and a few things that we see differently, which makes for interesting conversation. Always being able to challenge the other. Mentally, that is. We respect each other. When an issue comes up that is bothering one of us, we bring it to the other's attention and hash it out till it's fixed and if it can't be fixed and won't cause resentment, we agree to disagree.
Always remembering that a relationship takes work is important. You can't expect the situation to take care of itself if left alone. Keeping things interesting, (in AND out of the bedroom) is vital. We don't take each other for granted if we can help it. When it does happen, we call each other on it. I also believe, (because he taught me) that a relationship is almost never 50/50. Sometimes it's 60/40, sometimes it's 80/20. You need to be able to rely on your partner to take up the slack when it's needed, and be prepared to do the same.
I also believe that in any relationship, personal, business, and everything in between, there is one person who just automatically assumes a dominant position. And even that changes. Whoever has the strengths in dealing with any particular situation takes the lead.
I believe there is a line to walk. For both people. My fiance knows my "line" and I know his. He is very protective of me, but dosen't treat me as if I am helpless or weak. He knows I can usually take care of myself, but is right there to back me up if I can't. There is a balance...I want to be independent, AND able to depend on him.
We respect each other's space, privacy, and emotions. We don't argue about petty things, we pick our battles. Because let's face it, most things that couples argue about (that's argue, not full-blown fights) are rather small things and will be forgotten quickly. We don't waste time on things that aren't going to affect the rest of our lives.
We take arguments to a private setting. If something comes up in public, one of us says, "Ok, this bothers me" and it is set aside until we are alone. We will not embarass each other in public. And we always go back to it, to discuss, and work out without accusations or mud-slinging.
I think someone said that women always want to change a man. And I think they are right. I had done it in previous relationships. And I really can't say why that happens. This time, however, the man I fell in love with is exactly who I want him to be. I wouldn't have him change a thing. And maybe we are just lucky. It took me 34 years and wading through several assholes to find him. If he was any different, he wouldn't be the man I fell for.
Well. Don't I sound like a babbling know-it-all? Sorry for the rambling. What works for us may not work for everyone. It's a learning process. And even as happy as we are, we also are learning. Good Luck!
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
-
LottomagicZ4941
- Posts: 752
- Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:00 pm
What do women want?
If you figer a women out she will probably change.
They also say if you find the key to the stock market they will change the lock.
I always tell my wife I'm happy if she is happy.
Wouldn't it be nice if it were as easy to please a woman as it is to please a guy.
We are simple they are complex. yin and yang
Why do women want relationship to be work. Isn't work enough work? Relationships should not be work. Just two people enjoying each others company.
My wife complained that video games were a waist of time so I started to MLM again. Now she says that I should have a hobbie. And I am like video games remember:)
And when I put on music I'm selfish because I did not ask if she had a headache first. Then if I don't put on music it is "You don't play music anymore"
Hopefully she does not ever see this post as I am sure I would be in trouble.
Lotto
http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344
MagicZ4941A
They also say if you find the key to the stock market they will change the lock.
I always tell my wife I'm happy if she is happy.
Wouldn't it be nice if it were as easy to please a woman as it is to please a guy.
We are simple they are complex. yin and yang
Why do women want relationship to be work. Isn't work enough work? Relationships should not be work. Just two people enjoying each others company.
My wife complained that video games were a waist of time so I started to MLM again. Now she says that I should have a hobbie. And I am like video games remember:)
And when I put on music I'm selfish because I did not ask if she had a headache first. Then if I don't put on music it is "You don't play music anymore"
Hopefully she does not ever see this post as I am sure I would be in trouble.
Lotto
http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344
MagicZ4941A
What do women want?
Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb here, .....way out. I have had, well not to try to sound arrogant or present a "gods gift" mentality, pretty good success. Somebody give me a specific question and lets debate this one topic at a time. For instance, do you want to know what women want emotionally, what they are attracted to, what they want physically, in a relationship, what exactly is the question here?
Death is more universal than life. For although everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.
What do women want?
I'll admit it...we want you to be psychic. Yep, it's true, we want you to be able to read our minds. We are always trying be "in tune" with you, and we EXPECT you to ALWAYS be in tune with us. It's messed-up, unreasonable, even unlikely...but that's what we want. For you to anticipate our needs, even, say, over the phone. So, Bullet, let's hear your take on this...you have my interest tweaked.... :yh_think
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
What do women want?
OK.......well, my thoughts on communication between the sexxxes. The age old question. Men don't understand women and vice-versa. Well Baby Rider, I will try to share my opinion, but that is all it is, my opinion. As you said being in tune 100% of the time is unrealistic. But it can be improved upon. Now the original thread was a man asking what women want. I'll start with that.
OK guys, let's say your driving down the freeway, your female companion asks if you're hungry. You say "No, thank you." and continue driving. Now she is pissed. Do you know why? Of course not. See, you just passed an exit with one of her favorite restaurants depicted on the road sign, and she IS hungry. She expected you to understand that she was and you were not in tune with her and you're just a big goof.!!! Guys, not all women are like this, but most are. They have a whole different way of thinking and communicating. She put your hunger above hers and expected you to do the same. She also avoided being bossy by just blurting out " I'm hungry, stop here." Now instead of just saying no and driving on, you may have said, "No, are you?" Now you're in touch with her and saved face.
Sometimes women just want to be heard. It is imperative that men learn to identify when these moments arise. When it does happen, just shut the hell up and smile and nod. Be involved in the conversation, but DO NOT try to fix it or offer your opinions. Just be supportive. Let her vent. She trusts you and needs to get it out.
Now lets switch gears, ladies, guys just say it the way it is. Unless, it's about emotions or we are afraid that what we say will get us in the dog house with you. We don't like to talk about our emotions, it uncomfortable. We need time to let it develop, kind of chew on it if you will. And if we think what we are going to say may be self-incriminating in any way we will lie through our teeth. We usually do not have malicious intent, but we don't want to get in hot water and don't want to hurt your feelings.
We also have a fix it attitude. If you come to us with a problem, we instinctively try to fix it. That's what we do. Sometimes we don't know that all you want is to talk.
This communication has huge effects on other topics between the sexxxes, attraction, sex, relationships, etc.
I got to go, my girlfriend is hungry. I just know it.
L8R, Bullet
OK guys, let's say your driving down the freeway, your female companion asks if you're hungry. You say "No, thank you." and continue driving. Now she is pissed. Do you know why? Of course not. See, you just passed an exit with one of her favorite restaurants depicted on the road sign, and she IS hungry. She expected you to understand that she was and you were not in tune with her and you're just a big goof.!!! Guys, not all women are like this, but most are. They have a whole different way of thinking and communicating. She put your hunger above hers and expected you to do the same. She also avoided being bossy by just blurting out " I'm hungry, stop here." Now instead of just saying no and driving on, you may have said, "No, are you?" Now you're in touch with her and saved face.
Sometimes women just want to be heard. It is imperative that men learn to identify when these moments arise. When it does happen, just shut the hell up and smile and nod. Be involved in the conversation, but DO NOT try to fix it or offer your opinions. Just be supportive. Let her vent. She trusts you and needs to get it out.
Now lets switch gears, ladies, guys just say it the way it is. Unless, it's about emotions or we are afraid that what we say will get us in the dog house with you. We don't like to talk about our emotions, it uncomfortable. We need time to let it develop, kind of chew on it if you will. And if we think what we are going to say may be self-incriminating in any way we will lie through our teeth. We usually do not have malicious intent, but we don't want to get in hot water and don't want to hurt your feelings.
We also have a fix it attitude. If you come to us with a problem, we instinctively try to fix it. That's what we do. Sometimes we don't know that all you want is to talk.
This communication has huge effects on other topics between the sexxxes, attraction, sex, relationships, etc.
I got to go, my girlfriend is hungry. I just know it.
L8R, Bullet
Death is more universal than life. For although everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.
What do women want?
So, Bullet...If sometimes the right thing to do is just sit and listen, and sometimes you want to "fix" things for us, (why are men always trying to "rescue" us???) how do you determine which to do in any given situation?
I think you're right about the "guys say it like it is" bit. Which is one of the things that bothers me. They can be SO forthright and blunt, that sometimes, it's just rude. Here's an example: My fiance was on the phone this afternoon, talking to a mechanic to fix my car. The man had asked him something about what he wanted or needed, and what does he say??? "A busty blonde would be good, but you probably can't help me with that." And chuckling at his wit the whole time. Yes, I was standing right there. While that is really not a huge deal, it kind of struck a nerve. First of all, guys are crude, but do they have to be that way right in front of us? It's not like this was some buddy of his, who he was joking with, just some stranger on the phone. And I know him...If I had been talking to a perfect stranger and that opening had come up, and I'd said "Well, do you know any hot guys with massive schlongs?", he would not have liked it. It just struck me as wrong. I didn't say anything, because I hate to cause arguments, but it did bug me, for a little while. So, being as close to "in-tune" as you seem to be with the female mind, what do you think? You say that guys will avoid getting "in the dog-house" at all costs, but he knows me, too. He knows I really don't appreciate that kind of "humor." It's disrespectful. The really funny thing is, he probably has no idea that I was annoyed for a while, even as well as he knows me!!
ANYway...I'm really not upset about it anymore, it just seemed to be a good opportunity to get some feedback.
You are totally correct in your scenario about driving down the road. Women DO want to be asked if we're hungry when we bring it up...it's the being in-tune thing I mentioned. It also follows my line of thought about wanting you to read our minds!
You really do seem to have a better understanding than most, it's interesting. You're grilfriend is a lucky woman. Does she deserve you? :yh_rotfl
Could you expand a bit on how your philosophy can be implemented in other aspects of the relationship? I'm really curious...Thanks for your input!
I think you're right about the "guys say it like it is" bit. Which is one of the things that bothers me. They can be SO forthright and blunt, that sometimes, it's just rude. Here's an example: My fiance was on the phone this afternoon, talking to a mechanic to fix my car. The man had asked him something about what he wanted or needed, and what does he say??? "A busty blonde would be good, but you probably can't help me with that." And chuckling at his wit the whole time. Yes, I was standing right there. While that is really not a huge deal, it kind of struck a nerve. First of all, guys are crude, but do they have to be that way right in front of us? It's not like this was some buddy of his, who he was joking with, just some stranger on the phone. And I know him...If I had been talking to a perfect stranger and that opening had come up, and I'd said "Well, do you know any hot guys with massive schlongs?", he would not have liked it. It just struck me as wrong. I didn't say anything, because I hate to cause arguments, but it did bug me, for a little while. So, being as close to "in-tune" as you seem to be with the female mind, what do you think? You say that guys will avoid getting "in the dog-house" at all costs, but he knows me, too. He knows I really don't appreciate that kind of "humor." It's disrespectful. The really funny thing is, he probably has no idea that I was annoyed for a while, even as well as he knows me!!
ANYway...I'm really not upset about it anymore, it just seemed to be a good opportunity to get some feedback.
You are totally correct in your scenario about driving down the road. Women DO want to be asked if we're hungry when we bring it up...it's the being in-tune thing I mentioned. It also follows my line of thought about wanting you to read our minds!
You really do seem to have a better understanding than most, it's interesting. You're grilfriend is a lucky woman. Does she deserve you? :yh_rotfl
Could you expand a bit on how your philosophy can be implemented in other aspects of the relationship? I'm really curious...Thanks for your input!
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
What do women want?
BabyRider wrote: So, Bullet...If sometimes the right thing to do is just sit and listen, and sometimes you want to "fix" things for us, (why are men always trying to "rescue" us???) how do you determine which to do in any given situation?
That is the million dollar question. Usually, she will let the guy know by the way the topic comes up. For instance, if she comes home from work and had a bad day, and starts off with ranting on and on, that is the smile and nod mode. Do not try to give advise or opinions. She knows what to do, she juat needs a release with someone she trusts. But if she approaches you with a certain situation and there lacks the emotion, than she wants a fix. Here all the facts and fix it.
I think you're right about the "guys say it like it is" bit. Which is one of the things that bothers me. They can be SO forthright and blunt, that sometimes, it's just rude. Here's an example: My fiance was on the phone this afternoon, talking to a mechanic to fix my car. The man had asked him something about what he wanted or needed, and what does he say??? "A busty blonde would be good, but you probably can't help me with that." And chuckling at his wit the whole time. Yes, I was standing right there. While that is really not a huge deal, it kind of struck a nerve. First of all, guys are crude, but do they have to be that way right in front of us? It's not like this was some buddy of his, who he was joking with, just some stranger on the phone. And I know him...If I had been talking to a perfect stranger and that opening had come up, and I'd said "Well, do you know any hot guys with massive schlongs?", he would not have liked it. It just struck me as wrong. It's disrespectful. The really funny thing is, he probably has no idea that I was annoyed for a while, even as well as he knows me!!
Well, maybe, just maybe, he thought you were secure enough in your relationship to hear "guy talk". That's all that was. Get over it.
All men are assholes. We are just boys in big bodies. We scratch, fart, burp, pick our noses and like porn. Any guy who denies this is a liar. Accept it, deal with it, get over it. Life will be so much easier for women if they would stop looking for the perfect guy and just accept men for what they are. Of course there is the flip side, and that is a whole different discusson.
I didn't say anything, because I hate to cause arguments, but it did bug me, for a little while. ANYway...I'm really not upset about it anymore,
I can understand that, it may have been better to wait because emotions may have been high, and once the emotions were gone, it did not seem that important did
It also follows my line of thought about wanting you to read our minds!
You really do seem to have a better understanding than most, it's interesting. You're grilfriend is a lucky woman.
I think we are both lucky.
Does she deserve you? :yh_rotfl
She is a real pain in the @ss sometimes, but over all, she's pretty kewl. Read the thread about what men want, I might print it and let her read it when it dies down.
Could you expand a bit on how your philosophy can be implemented in other aspects of the relationship? I'm really curious...Thanks for your input!
Not here, I might start another thread about it later, Thanks.
That is the million dollar question. Usually, she will let the guy know by the way the topic comes up. For instance, if she comes home from work and had a bad day, and starts off with ranting on and on, that is the smile and nod mode. Do not try to give advise or opinions. She knows what to do, she juat needs a release with someone she trusts. But if she approaches you with a certain situation and there lacks the emotion, than she wants a fix. Here all the facts and fix it.
I think you're right about the "guys say it like it is" bit. Which is one of the things that bothers me. They can be SO forthright and blunt, that sometimes, it's just rude. Here's an example: My fiance was on the phone this afternoon, talking to a mechanic to fix my car. The man had asked him something about what he wanted or needed, and what does he say??? "A busty blonde would be good, but you probably can't help me with that." And chuckling at his wit the whole time. Yes, I was standing right there. While that is really not a huge deal, it kind of struck a nerve. First of all, guys are crude, but do they have to be that way right in front of us? It's not like this was some buddy of his, who he was joking with, just some stranger on the phone. And I know him...If I had been talking to a perfect stranger and that opening had come up, and I'd said "Well, do you know any hot guys with massive schlongs?", he would not have liked it. It just struck me as wrong. It's disrespectful. The really funny thing is, he probably has no idea that I was annoyed for a while, even as well as he knows me!!
Well, maybe, just maybe, he thought you were secure enough in your relationship to hear "guy talk". That's all that was. Get over it.
All men are assholes. We are just boys in big bodies. We scratch, fart, burp, pick our noses and like porn. Any guy who denies this is a liar. Accept it, deal with it, get over it. Life will be so much easier for women if they would stop looking for the perfect guy and just accept men for what they are. Of course there is the flip side, and that is a whole different discusson.I didn't say anything, because I hate to cause arguments, but it did bug me, for a little while. ANYway...I'm really not upset about it anymore,
I can understand that, it may have been better to wait because emotions may have been high, and once the emotions were gone, it did not seem that important did
It also follows my line of thought about wanting you to read our minds!
You really do seem to have a better understanding than most, it's interesting. You're grilfriend is a lucky woman.
I think we are both lucky.
Does she deserve you? :yh_rotfl
She is a real pain in the @ss sometimes, but over all, she's pretty kewl. Read the thread about what men want, I might print it and let her read it when it dies down.
Could you expand a bit on how your philosophy can be implemented in other aspects of the relationship? I'm really curious...Thanks for your input!
Not here, I might start another thread about it later, Thanks.
Death is more universal than life. For although everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.
What do women want?
Figuring out what they want requires understanding women's language. From an unknown source here are some tips:
After years of in-depth study the following translations have been
> >confirmed. Please be careful in the future interpretation of the
> >following terminology.
> >
> >WORDS WOMEN USE
> >
> >FINE
> >This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
> >right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman
> >looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
> >
> >FIVE MINUTES
> >This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
> >football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
> >even trade.
> >
> >NOTHING
> >This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
> >usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
> >inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
> >argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".
> >
> >GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows)
> >This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
> >"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
> >
> >GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
> >This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You
> >will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
> >"nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
> >when she cools off.
> >
> >GO AHEAD (with Lowered Eyebrows)
> >At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
> >trouble.
> >
> >LOUD SIGH
> >This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
> >misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
> >at that moment, and wonders why she
> >is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
> >
> >SOFT SIGH
> >Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
> >she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will
> >stay content.
> >
> >THAT'S OKAY
> >This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
> >man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
> >paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
> >often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
> >Eyebrow".
> >
> >PLEASE DO
> >This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
> >chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
> >whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the
> >truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
> >
> >THANKS
> >A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
> >
> >THANKS A LOT
> >This goes much deeper than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
> >when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
> >offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
> >Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as
> >she will only tell you "Nothing".
> >
After years of in-depth study the following translations have been
> >confirmed. Please be careful in the future interpretation of the
> >following terminology.
> >
> >WORDS WOMEN USE
> >
> >FINE
> >This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
> >right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman
> >looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
> >
> >FIVE MINUTES
> >This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
> >football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
> >even trade.
> >
> >NOTHING
> >This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
> >usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
> >inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
> >argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".
> >
> >GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows)
> >This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
> >"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
> >
> >GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
> >This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You
> >will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
> >"nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
> >when she cools off.
> >
> >GO AHEAD (with Lowered Eyebrows)
> >At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
> >trouble.
> >
> >LOUD SIGH
> >This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
> >misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
> >at that moment, and wonders why she
> >is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
> >
> >SOFT SIGH
> >Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
> >she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will
> >stay content.
> >
> >THAT'S OKAY
> >This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
> >man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
> >paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
> >often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
> >Eyebrow".
> >
> >PLEASE DO
> >This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
> >chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
> >whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the
> >truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
> >
> >THANKS
> >A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
> >
> >THANKS A LOT
> >This goes much deeper than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
> >when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
> >offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
> >Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as
> >she will only tell you "Nothing".
> >
What do women want?
The ironic thing is that it's soooo true, and we can still laugh at it. What I don't understand is that if women can identify this and laugh at the absurdity of it, than why does it still go on?
Death is more universal than life. For although everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.
What do women want?
Bullet wrote:
Bullet, this had nothing to do with security. It had to do with respect. You didn't even touch on the point about his not liking hearing similar talk from me.
I am so completely OVER the term: "It's a guy thing." That term has been used to try and excuse all kinds of behavior, and if it's rude or wrong, then it's just rude or wrong. I was not THAT upset about it, I just think that if guys used their common sense a bit more, then hurtful things (even as minor as this was) could be avoided. Do you think I'm totally unreasonable? And I don't think I want perfection...(how boring would THAT be???) I just want a man that is a bit sensitive to things like this. No matter how secure a woman is, she just dosen't want to hear things like that. And I'm done debating that point, because I'm giving the situation more attention and energy than it warrants. It was a point to make, not something to get frustrated over. My man is as close to perfect as I've ever seen, and I am happy with him.
Be sure that when you do start that new thread, make it a loud subject line, I'm going to be very interested to read it. I'm a bit unclear as to why you wouldn't put it here, though. Seems the perfect place to me!
And it sure is nice to hear a man who says things like "We are both lucky." Very cool.
As far as your response to Koan: it seems like the only behavior that is a mystery and unreasonable is a woman's. Are guys exempt from odd behavior? The argument could be reasonably made that women behave like this because "it's a girl thing." :yh_eyebro
Bullet, this had nothing to do with security. It had to do with respect. You didn't even touch on the point about his not liking hearing similar talk from me.
I am so completely OVER the term: "It's a guy thing." That term has been used to try and excuse all kinds of behavior, and if it's rude or wrong, then it's just rude or wrong. I was not THAT upset about it, I just think that if guys used their common sense a bit more, then hurtful things (even as minor as this was) could be avoided. Do you think I'm totally unreasonable? And I don't think I want perfection...(how boring would THAT be???) I just want a man that is a bit sensitive to things like this. No matter how secure a woman is, she just dosen't want to hear things like that. And I'm done debating that point, because I'm giving the situation more attention and energy than it warrants. It was a point to make, not something to get frustrated over. My man is as close to perfect as I've ever seen, and I am happy with him.
Be sure that when you do start that new thread, make it a loud subject line, I'm going to be very interested to read it. I'm a bit unclear as to why you wouldn't put it here, though. Seems the perfect place to me!
And it sure is nice to hear a man who says things like "We are both lucky." Very cool.
As far as your response to Koan: it seems like the only behavior that is a mystery and unreasonable is a woman's. Are guys exempt from odd behavior? The argument could be reasonably made that women behave like this because "it's a girl thing." :yh_eyebro
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
What do women want?
BabyRider wrote: Bullet, this had nothing to do with security. It had to do with respect. You didn't even touch on the point about his not liking hearing similar talk from me.
Your right, I did not. first of all, if something like that disrespected you, than perhaps you need to explore your level of self-respect. Nobody should have that kind of power over you to make you feel disrespected over guy talk. And if I did hear my girl say that, I would take it for what it is worth. I am secure enough with my self and who I am not to let something that petty bother me. If she ment it, she would not be with me and surely would not joke like that in front of me. She would be in search of King Schlong. So be it.:yh_loser
I am so completely OVER the term: "It's a guy thing." That term has been used to try and excuse all kinds of behavior, and if it's rude or wrong, then it's just rude or wrong. I was not THAT upset about it, I just think that if guys used their common sense a bit more, then hurtful things (even as minor as this was) could be avoided. Do you think I'm totally unreasonable? I just want a man that is a bit sensitive to things like this.
It does not sound like your over this "guy thing". But you should be. But you make a point, that the term "guy thing" should not be used as an excuse for improper behavior, any more than PMS should be used as an excuse for being, how do you put it, rude and wrong. Perhaps both sexes should use the same common sense you refer to here. And yes, I think you are unreasonable.
And I'm done debating that point, because I'm giving the situation more attention and energy than it warrants. It was a point to make, not something to get frustrated over.
Now making all of these statements and then ending it like this sounds like a futile attempt to get the last word in on a topic you may not be prepared to take further. :yh_wave
As far as your response to Koan: it seems like the only behavior that is a mystery and unreasonable is a woman's. Are guys exempt from odd behavior? The argument could be reasonably made that women behave like this because "it's a girl thing."
I stated before, all men are @ssholes, that includes odd behavior, as seen in a woman's eyes. Same as a womans behavior is odd as seen in a man's eyes, but may seem reasonable to you.
L8R
Your right, I did not. first of all, if something like that disrespected you, than perhaps you need to explore your level of self-respect. Nobody should have that kind of power over you to make you feel disrespected over guy talk. And if I did hear my girl say that, I would take it for what it is worth. I am secure enough with my self and who I am not to let something that petty bother me. If she ment it, she would not be with me and surely would not joke like that in front of me. She would be in search of King Schlong. So be it.:yh_loser
I am so completely OVER the term: "It's a guy thing." That term has been used to try and excuse all kinds of behavior, and if it's rude or wrong, then it's just rude or wrong. I was not THAT upset about it, I just think that if guys used their common sense a bit more, then hurtful things (even as minor as this was) could be avoided. Do you think I'm totally unreasonable? I just want a man that is a bit sensitive to things like this.
It does not sound like your over this "guy thing". But you should be. But you make a point, that the term "guy thing" should not be used as an excuse for improper behavior, any more than PMS should be used as an excuse for being, how do you put it, rude and wrong. Perhaps both sexes should use the same common sense you refer to here. And yes, I think you are unreasonable.
And I'm done debating that point, because I'm giving the situation more attention and energy than it warrants. It was a point to make, not something to get frustrated over.
Now making all of these statements and then ending it like this sounds like a futile attempt to get the last word in on a topic you may not be prepared to take further. :yh_wave
As far as your response to Koan: it seems like the only behavior that is a mystery and unreasonable is a woman's. Are guys exempt from odd behavior? The argument could be reasonably made that women behave like this because "it's a girl thing."
I stated before, all men are @ssholes, that includes odd behavior, as seen in a woman's eyes. Same as a womans behavior is odd as seen in a man's eyes, but may seem reasonable to you.
L8R
Death is more universal than life. For although everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.
-
LottomagicZ4941
- Posts: 752
- Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:00 pm
What do women want?
BabyRider wrote: I'll admit it...we want you to be psychic. Yep, it's true, we want you to be able to read our minds. We are always trying be "in tune" with you, and we EXPECT you to ALWAYS be in tune with us. It's messed-up, unreasonable, even unlikely...but that's what we want. For you to anticipate our needs, even, say, over the phone. So, Bullet, let's hear your take on this...you have my interest tweaked.... :yh_think
LOL I knew you wanted us to be psychic!!!
Just not good at it enough of the time.
Lotto
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t40
MagicZ4941A
LOL I knew you wanted us to be psychic!!!
Just not good at it enough of the time.
Lotto
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t40
MagicZ4941A