Hi all,
I've lurked here for a while but never thought of writing myself but lately I've been feeling a little blue about the upcoming Thanksgiving. It's the first one our girl will spend away from us -- she's 20 and we very reluctantly agreed that she could spend the holiday with her boyfriend's family. They have a cabin in the woods around Yosemite. Not only does it make me said b/c our table will seem so much smaller, but this cabin is located in an area that may or may not even have phone reception so I might not even get to talk to her that day! That makes me so sad! How have others whose babies have grown up and flown the coop managed around this time of year?
some pre-Turkey blues
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YogaAlohaMa
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:45 pm
some pre-Turkey blues
YogaAlohaMa wrote: Hi all,
I've lurked here for a while but never thought of writing myself but lately I've been feeling a little blue about the upcoming Thanksgiving. It's the first one our girl will spend away from us -- she's 20 and we very reluctantly agreed that she could spend the holiday with her boyfriend's family. They have a cabin in the woods around Yosemite. Not only does it make me said b/c our table will seem so much smaller, but this cabin is located in an area that may or may not even have phone reception so I might not even get to talk to her that day! That makes me so sad! How have others whose babies have grown up and flown the coop managed around this time of year?
oh my sympathies to you, been there done that, and each year gets a little better. Many of us here have chicks that have flown the coop part of them growing up. Enjoy the best you can. BTW welcome to FG.
I've lurked here for a while but never thought of writing myself but lately I've been feeling a little blue about the upcoming Thanksgiving. It's the first one our girl will spend away from us -- she's 20 and we very reluctantly agreed that she could spend the holiday with her boyfriend's family. They have a cabin in the woods around Yosemite. Not only does it make me said b/c our table will seem so much smaller, but this cabin is located in an area that may or may not even have phone reception so I might not even get to talk to her that day! That makes me so sad! How have others whose babies have grown up and flown the coop managed around this time of year?
oh my sympathies to you, been there done that, and each year gets a little better. Many of us here have chicks that have flown the coop part of them growing up. Enjoy the best you can. BTW welcome to FG.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
• Mae West
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nvalleyvee
- Posts: 5191
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:57 am
some pre-Turkey blues
Welcome to the Garden. I had to share my daughter with her father for 20 years after our divorce so I missed a lot of holidays with her. That was very hard on me and her father when she wasn't with one of us at holiday time. Now she is married and living across the country. She won't be here this Thanksgiving but plans on coming home for Christmas - the first in 4 years. She spent the past 3 X-masses with her Dad because her Grandparents have been in ill health and she wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. Now her husband is in Iraq and she wants her Mommy. :-4 It will get easier and as time goes by you will adjust to being a "free" Mom again. Just keep chanting.....Grandchildren....Grandchildren......Grandchildren. :wah:
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
some pre-Turkey blues
I suffered mightly when the youngest spread her wings........... going through the depression of the empty nest syndrome for a time period that felt like forever to me because I was not yet ready to let her go.
Then, when I was getting myself together and starting to enjoy my newly created life, BAM! Home she came with our grandchild AND 2 dogs. (You really, really need to be careful of what you pray for...............)
Life is anything but dull now days. My husband and I are very happy to have her and our grandson with us, but when the day comes that she moves out with him, I will NOT be mourning their leaving this time. There are special seasons in all our lives and when they come, whether on schedule or not, enjoy what you have at the time, and then move on................
We cannot live FOR one another, we can only live with each other -- and each of us has their own path to follow.
Having told your daughter she could go away for Thanksgiving, it would be wrong to try and guilt her into feeling she abandoned you. Better that you take that energy and create a wonderful Thanksgiving Day so that you both have a happy day to relate after the holiday.
Letting go is not easy, but having been there, let me say, read up on this empty nest thing and perhaps you can cope with this better than I originally did.
Then, when I was getting myself together and starting to enjoy my newly created life, BAM! Home she came with our grandchild AND 2 dogs. (You really, really need to be careful of what you pray for...............)
Life is anything but dull now days. My husband and I are very happy to have her and our grandson with us, but when the day comes that she moves out with him, I will NOT be mourning their leaving this time. There are special seasons in all our lives and when they come, whether on schedule or not, enjoy what you have at the time, and then move on................
We cannot live FOR one another, we can only live with each other -- and each of us has their own path to follow.
Having told your daughter she could go away for Thanksgiving, it would be wrong to try and guilt her into feeling she abandoned you. Better that you take that energy and create a wonderful Thanksgiving Day so that you both have a happy day to relate after the holiday.
Letting go is not easy, but having been there, let me say, read up on this empty nest thing and perhaps you can cope with this better than I originally did.
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bel_thatch
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:10 pm
some pre-Turkey blues
I am certain it will be just as hard for me when my boys aren’t here during the holidays. All part of that damn growing up process for everyone, right? As far as the lack of phone reception, you just might need to wait until she’s in an area with better reception. I would think, though, that there’s some kind of phone somewhere for emergencies and the like. In the event your daughter has no cell phone or it won’t work, you can get her a phone card so she can check in. Companies like onesuite have cards for very little money and no commitment. In the meantime, make sure you and she are communicating and having fun in the time leading up to Thanksgiving so her time away won’t be too hard on you. Best wishes!