*the BAH HUMBUG thread*

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 8:58 pm

i wish i could have found it in normal colored print! damn thing hurts the eyes!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:22 am

lady cop wrote: the epic poem....HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMASby Dr. Suess Every Who Down in Who-villeLiked Christmas a lot... But the Grinch,Who lived just North of Who-ville,Did NOT! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.But I think that the most likely reason of allMay have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But,Whatever the reason,His heart or his shoes,He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frownAt the warm lighted windows below in their town.For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneathWas busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath. "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer."Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"For, tomorrow, he knew... ...All the Who girls and boysWould wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.And they'd feast! And they'd feast!And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beastWhich was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least! And THENThey'd do something he liked least of all!Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing!AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-SingThe more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!I MUST stop Christmas from coming!...But HOW?" Then he got an idea!An awful idea!THE GRINCHGOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is a reindeer..."The Grinch looked around.But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.Did that stop the old Grinch...?No! The Grinch simply said,"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red threadAnd he tied a big horn on top of his head. THENHe loaded some bagsAnd some old empty sacksOn a ramshakle sleighAnd he hitched up old Max. Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"And the sleigh started downToward the homes where the WhosLay a-snooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without careWhen he came to the first house in the square."This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissedAnd he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flueWhere the little Who stockings all hung in a row."These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,Around the whole room, and he took every present!Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee."And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shoveWhen he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughterWho'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?" But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slickHe thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her headAnd he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! Then the last thing he tookWas the log for their fire.Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire. And the one speck of foodThe he left in the houseWas a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.ThenHe did the same thingTo the other Whos' houses Leaving crumbsMuch too smallFor the other Whos' mouses! It was quarter past dawn...All the Whos, still a-bedAll the Whos, still a-snoozeWhen he packed up his sled,Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,He rode to the tiptop to dump it!"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming."They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!" "That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,"That I simply must hear!"So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.It started in low. Then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad!Why, this sound sounded merry!It couldn't be so!But it WAS merry! VERY! He stared down at Who-ville!The Grinch popped his eyes!Then he shook!What he saw was a shocking surprise! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,Was singing! Without any presents at all!He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!IT CAME!Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?It came without ribbons! It came without tags!"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" And what happened then...?Well...in Who-ville they sayThat the Grinch's small heartGrew three sizes that day!And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,He whizzed with his load through the bright morning lightAnd he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!And he... ...HE HIMSELF...!The Grinch carved the roast beast!That's better! :rolleyes:

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 3:45 am

bah humbug, splatter clause

Attached files

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:56 pm

hey General Far...i found these great ornaments, they're lumps of coal!! HAHAHAHAHA

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 12:54 pm

Far!! i need help! i got sucked into that disney movie thread! it's a trick!!

...scrooge has some gruel and kicks some orphans......

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 2:14 pm

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM EGGNOG!!!!!

Ya can't get that any other time of the year ya dam christmas grinch and grinchette.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Nov 16, 2005 2:28 pm

Far Rider wrote: Well if I had my way we'd butcher all them egg cows! and you'd not get any!:sneaky:

so much for fried eggs for breaky for you grumpy bumpy

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:14 am

*getting out list of naughty and nice little boys and girls to take notes*

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 8:05 am

surveillance photo of the alleged claus..........

Attached files

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 8:42 am

Far Rider wrote: Thats him! Thats the man that took my hooch... he kept saying "but it was next to the cookies"? like he has rights to my cookies either!

Throw the book at'em...! .... oh, dont put him in a cell with a chimney!

Back to your corner boy!

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 9:43 am

*scribbling notes on list*

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:39 am

hey General Grinchy, those elf people are plotting to make you string tree garlands...use these

............

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:01 pm

lady cop wrote: hey General Grinchy, those elf people are plotting to make you string tree garlands...use these

............
Grinchie is about to be the tree topper if he ain't careful.

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:23 pm

Ho-ho-ho, you need some Christmas spirit, Mr. Grinch.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:40 pm

santa wrote: Ho-ho-ho, you need some Christmas spirit, Mr. Grinch.

You got that right santa, maybe we could sew bells onto his socks as a reminder of how joyous christmas is.

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:41 pm

Maybe a little egg nog might give Mr. Grinch a better disposition.

No playing with dangerous toys, Mr. Grinch! Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:44 pm

santa wrote: Maybe a little egg nog might give Mr. Grinch a better disposition.

No playing with dangerous toys, Mr. Grinch! Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice.

hehehe minks considers taking the chisel set back in exchange for a chalk board.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:05 pm

I hate that every year the tree always falls over onto me. I don't care what the circumstances are...I will get pinned under seven feet of fragrant pine and it will be horribly painful for days afterwards.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:10 pm

actionfigurestepho wrote: I hate that every year the tree always falls over onto me. I don't care what the circumstances are...I will get pinned under seven feet of fragrant pine and it will be horribly painful for days afterwards.

*notes to self, Stepho needs a padded suit for xmas*

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:13 pm

actionfigurestepho wrote: I hate that every year the tree always falls over onto me. I don't care what the circumstances are...I will get pinned under seven feet of fragrant pine and it will be horribly painful for days afterwards.see?? it's a dangerous holiday!

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:17 pm

lady cop wrote: see?? it's a dangerous holiday!

oh indeed piney needles and rampant reindeer OMG

Just keep your eyes open people and be aware of your surroundings crikey tomorrow you could step off a curb and blamo a bus runs you down, NOT even related to christmas now is it hmmmmmmm??????

hehehehehehe nice try mind you.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:27 pm

*putting paws in front of face*

Those bullets aren't for bunnies, are they Far?

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:01 pm

The true meaning of Christmas is the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.

Mr. Grinch seems to have lost his way along the Christmas trail...................

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:02 pm

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:03 pm

i swear i thought this said "hamburgers" Far! LOL --------------- Humbuggers unite against tyranny!

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:03 pm

santa wrote: The true meaning of Christmas is the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.

Mr. Grinch seems to have lost his way along the Christmas trail...................

and he calls himself a family man, Oh the Shame, the shame the shame

GET A GRIP BROTHAH!!

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:04 pm

lady cop wrote: i swear i thought this said "hamburgers" Far! LOL --------------- Humbuggers unite against tyranny!
I give you the benefit of a doubt, LC.............now Mr. Grinch is another story.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:05 pm

santa wrote: The true meaning of Christmas is the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.

and this has to do with elves and red-nosed reindeer because.............:p

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:06 pm

santa wrote: I give you the benefit of a doubt, LC.............now Mr. Grinch is another story.uh-oh, i'm on the s**t list again!

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:07 pm

St. Nicholas, and legends that grew up around him. My revered ancestor. He is praying for you, Mr. Grinch.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:17 pm

St. Nicholas by Susan The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus' words to "sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

This is just part of a long article...but you get the gist.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:17 pm

lady cop wrote: and this has to do with elves and red-nosed reindeer because.............:p

father christmas, wooden shoes, sleeping children, sugar plums dancing in their heads, gifts, cookies, turkey, fruitcake yeah you get it hehehehe

Tis about giving

G-Glory Be

I-Include those less fortunate

V-Venture forth spread good tidings

E-Everyone counts

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:19 pm

*check on nice list for Minks*

That is a beuaitful song, warms my heart to hear it sung by you.

santa · Post by **santa** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:20 pm

Bez wrote:

St. Nicholas by Susan The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus' words to "sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

This is just part of a long article...but you get the gist.
*check on nice list for Bez*

Thank you for telling his story, such a wonderful man, to serve mankind and God in such a loving way.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:26 pm

How did the kindly Christian saint, good Bishop Nicholas, become a roly-poly red-suited American symbol for merry holiday festivity and commercial activity?....Click on the link below to find out ......

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=35

St. Nicholas and American Christmas Customs

Waves of European immigrants brought cherished St. Nicholas holiday traditions. How have these influenced today's popular holiday customs in the United States?

santa · Post by **santa** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 6:17 am

Dear Mr. Grinch:

The birth of the Christ Child should be celebrated year long. It is not the fault of my illustrious ancestors if we followed calendars still in use. The idea of December 25 as the day to celebrate the birthday of the Christ Child has become a tradition.

You should celebrate the holiday season with us too, Mr. Grinch.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:28 pm

:p north pole my butt!!..............

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:15 am

juvenile delinquents.