manners....arent they taught anymore?

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:20 pm

I remember always being compliment on how well behaved my children were in restaurants...... its not magic i taught them manners at our own dinner table.

Is it just me?.......im beginning to believe its not. Once id see one or two kids not using a knife and fork. Or eating with their mouth open. I used to think it cute when a one off child clamped their hand around a fork and use it like a spoon or clamp their hand like a fist around spoon........ very uncouth and neandathal like.

But im seeing it all the time now. Theres been an alarming study of the number of capable children who cant tie their own laces or navigate a buckle when starting school. Not just one or two childrens but lots of them.

I dont understand. My children ate finger food and hamburgers and chips etc. They still knew the proper way to hold a knife and fork though. And to this day they eat with their mouths close and dont speak when its full.

You know ivesat with adults who ask me a questionwhilst mid chew and look awkward when i do the polite sign of three fingers just away from the mouth to indicate im chewing and dont speak straight away.

Well looks like theres another job for us oldies in the future...... letter writing with a real quill pen and basic etiquette......... theres going to be a huge demand for it

Post by **spot** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:44 am

I'd question where manners leave off and marketing steps in. No household of mine is going to tolerate an off-centre fish knife, not even if I start serving Sole. Which, after a lifetime of repudiation, is scarcely likely. No bottom-feeding pancake fish is going anywhere near my grill.

Cake fork maybe.

No child was ever allowed at my dining table if it didn't bring a book to read between courses.

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:06 am

:yh_rotfl

.......you kill me!.....no really kill me!

And should i be embarrassed to say i have both cake and seafood forks?

But really, you cant blame lower socio status because some of these kids i know are from well heeled homes.

You have to make the child read to you........just to make that dinner a little more painful. That way theyll be pleased toretreat to the nursery

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 7:43 am

We didn't have all them extra forks and knives and all. We got along with just yer basic fork and knife and teaspoon, and a Soup Spoon. Mom was very careful to make sure we didn't have to eat soup with a plain old teaspoon. that would never do.

But we were smacked right quickly when we dared to try and speak while a speck of food was still in our mouths.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 10:10 am

I remember sitting around a table, no elbows, no fingers,no open mouthed chewing, no talking, knife and fork placed soldier like when finished. No sweet, we didn't call it pudding, if the dinner wasn't finished, and having to ask to leave the table when finished.

It doesn't matter the tools you use, fish knife, cake fork etc. are not needed to have decent manners.

And I agree these days it can be embarrassing to see the lack of manners these days.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:19 am

So can I eat my peas with my knife or not ?

Post by **spot** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:47 am

Snowfire;1500306 wrote: So can I eat my peas with my knife or not ?

You'd obviously not do it if there were easily influenced children within sight but with that proviso, how could you fail to impress. As Max Bialystok so famously said, if you've got it, flaunt it.

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:49 am

Snowfire;1500306 wrote: So can I eat my peas with my knife or not ?

Dunno. Can you. I never mastered the art, myself.

Though I can eat rice with chopsticks, a feat which impressed my hosts in Beijing.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:44 pm

Snowfire;1500306 wrote: So can I eat my peas with my knife or not ?

If you must.......but it is a lot harder, at least with a fork you have the indents between the tines stopping them rolling off, and the curvature so they rest in the bend.

Or you can mash them first and push them onto the fork with the knife.

Alternatively only eat mushy peas ?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:46 pm

LarsMac;1500308 wrote: Though I can eat rice with chopsticks, a feat which impressed my hosts in Beijing.

You have impressed me, when having a meal in London's China Town, I asked for a knife and fork.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:25 pm

eww Snow, maybe you could just not have peas. Yuck. Vile little greenies.

As for manners, would it have been considered bad manners when my father cuffed us upside the head for acting like little cretins at the table??

Kids these days fail on levels of matters. Parents fail at parenting this skill.

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:34 pm

Bruv;1500302 wrote: I remember sitting around a table, no elbows, no fingers,no open mouthed chewing, no talking, knife and fork placed soldier like when finished. No sweet, we didn't call it pudding, if the dinner wasn't finished, and having to ask to leave the table when finished.

It doesn't matter the tools you use, fish knife, cake fork etc. are not needed to have decent manners.

And I agree these days it can be embarrassing to see the lack of manners these days.

Yep, that was my upbringing. But dad would rap us over the knuckles if we tried to use our forks as spoons especially for peas.

Am i getting you wrong tthough? We had teaspoons the little ones, and tablespoons, amd soup spoons.

And you called dessert sweets too ?. Ha!

Defo had to ask to leave the table. And fork into the elbow if we had them on the table.

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:41 pm

Sorry lars the teaspoon question was in responce to your post sorry

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:42 pm

minks;1500321 wrote: eww Snow, maybe you could just not have peas. Yuck. Vile little greenies.

As for manners, would it have been considered bad manners when my father cuffed us upside the head for acting like little cretins at the table??

Kids these days fail on levels of matters. Parents fail at parenting this skill.

OooH! I love peas. Having Mashed Potatoes always helps when eating Peas.

I don't really see that many misbehaving children in restaurants around here. When I do, they are usually middle-class white kids. We live in an area where a lot of Hispanic families live, and dine. The Hispanic children are generally well-behaved in restaurants. Not so much the white/Anglo kids.

The thing I notice most of the time is that the family dines and the adults are constantly engaging the children in conversations, so the children are part of the entire event. A lot of Anglos seem to expect the children to entertain themselves while the adults have "adult" conversations. (Yes, when we were children, my parents and their friends often were the same way.) The only time they engage the children seems to be when they get out of hand, and require admonition or discipline.

It seems to be a cultural divide.

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:48 pm

Is there a corrolation between a whole generation that went into childcare centres? I often think about that. When i worked in childcare some children would have breakfast and lunch in care .apart from encouraging them to use a utensil we couldnt /allowed to teach them table manners.

When i think of how much time i spent ingraing manners into my children before the age of school how could the kids in the centred ever learn?

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:54 pm

[QUOTE=minks;1500321]eww Snow, maybe you could just not have peas. Yuck. Vile little greenies.

As for manners, would it have been considered bad manners when my father cuffed us upside the head for acting like little cretins at the table?

Absolutely not minks lol......... i believe thats called cause and effect . Lol

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:56 pm

Lars

I was raised ... children should be seen not heard.

we were told to sit still, be quiet, eat all our peas (bleck) along with everything else on our plate, no elbows, quit kicking your brother and so forth. We were to act as mini, polite, socially acceptable adults.

Pat · Post by **Pat** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 5:36 pm

Hey, I'm new to this forum and this manner thing kinda sparked a song in my heart! Children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way! If it is to be it's up to me! Happy forking!!! Save your fork, the best is yet to come!

magentaflame · Post by **magentaflame** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 6:52 pm

Ummmm.....happy what?

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 8:29 pm

minks;1500329 wrote: Lars

I was raised ... children should be seen not heard.

we were told to sit still, be quiet, eat all our peas (bleck) along with everything else on our plate, no elbows, quit kicking your brother and so forth. We were to act as mini, polite, socially acceptable adults.

We grew up in a family full of teachers, engineers, and storytellers. Dinner time was an adventure.

Post by **spot** » Sat Aug 27, 2016 1:39 am

Pat;1500396 wrote: Hey, I'm new to this forum and this manner thing kinda sparked a song in my heart! Children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way! If it is to be it's up to me! Happy forking!!! Save your fork, the best is yet to come!

How kind of you to register. We're pleased to meet you.