The Top 5 Smart Ass Answers for 2005

[Tombstone]

Smart Ass Answer No.5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his

trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I

need to see your ticket not your stub."



Smart Ass Answer No 4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she

couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do

these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're

dead."



Smart Ass Answer No 3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally

stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



Smart Ass Answer No 2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,

"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him

and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,

a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck

driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck

driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



And the Smart Ass answer that Top's 2005....

Smart Ass Answer No 1

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I

won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider

a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your

immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass

guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say

if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When

silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her

head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

other hand."

[Bez]

Got any more like this ?...they're great ! :yh_rotfl

[nvalleyvee]

Thanks for the funny of the day.