When dogs die...

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:58 am

Does anyone who has never had dog fully comprehend the sense of loss when losing mans best friend?

A neighbour, dubbed weird Paul by locals called on us yesterday with a sack of goodies for our dogs after he lost his 15 year old best friend.

I was humbled that of all the people he could have come to to openly cry and break down after returning home from the vets, It was us, because he knew he could do that without judgement and we'd understand the sense of loss.

So I printed out the poem again for him and added a little card as I did with an elderly lady recently who also just lost her Buddy.

Why don't card manufacturers make cards for such moments?

Ben Hur Lampman Oregon USA 1916

We are thinking now of a Jack Russell

Beneath trees, and shrubs, he slept in the drowsy

summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to

challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in

life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches

sentiment more than anything else. For if the dog be well

remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams

actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing,

begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long

and at last.

On a hill where the wind is unrebuked, and the trees are

roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or

somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most

exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one

to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if

memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog.

One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must

already have, he will come to you when you call -- come

to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the

well-remembered path, and to your side again. And

though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they shall not

growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he

belongs there. People may scoff at you, who see no

lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no

whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who

may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for

you shall know something that is hidden from them, and

which is well worth the knowing. The one best place to

bury a good dog is in the heart of its master.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:09 am

A co-worker told me about her dog dying and I started crying. So yeah, I can understand the huge sense of loss when a pet passes.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:17 am

SnoozeAgain;1434042 wrote: A co-worker told me about her dog dying and I started crying. So yeah, I can understand the huge sense of loss when a pet passes.

I know you do my little buttered scone.

I just wish their was a card or something you could buy In the shops that could express your sympathy for them.

I've ordered Paul a keyring

paw print keyrings | eBay

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:20 am

They're out there, I got a sympathy card from my vet before.

Pet Dog Sympathy Card - Touch Our Hearts card (608655)

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:23 am

SnoozeAgain;1434048 wrote: They're out there, I got a sympathy card from my vet before.

Pet Dog Sympathy Card - Touch Our Hearts card (608655)

I have never seen those before so Thanks.... I can use them In the future.

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:06 am

I'd go further...any pet, if it's close enough and loved enough, becomes a family member. I had a cat once that got me through some hard times when I was young and single. There were Christmases where it was just the two of us against the cold world. When that cat died, it was just like losing a family member to me.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:44 am

Saint_;1434061 wrote: I'd go further...any pet, if it's close enough and loved enough, becomes a family member. I had a cat once that got me through some hard times when I was young and single. There were Christmases where it was just the two of us against the cold world. When that cat died, it was just like losing a family member to me.

Yep, been there....

I've had many many cats and dogs over the years because we took rescue, some with Illness's and conditions so they didn't last long.

My Father, one remaining Aunt and Sister had all died In one year but I was doing OK, and coping.

Then my Mother died very shortly after and It was a fore-gone conclusion that I would take her cat, Blackjack.. At the time, I had 9 other cats all rescue but having Blackjack was a huge comfort after my Mother died because he was hers and I swear I could even smell her In his fur.

I had other things of my parents all around me but It was that cat who brought me so much comfort because he was hers and she had loved him.

I as coping with losing both parents, aunt and sister all In one year really well until one day Blackjack went downhill very quickly. Got the Vet out who took him away for blood tests and X rays and the next day, he phoned to say It was acute liver failure and nothing could be done. We went and collected him, brought him home and later that evening the Vet came to put him to sleep In my lap.

Suddenly and despite having lost so many dear pets over the years with all the problem cases I had and after coping with all the bereavement so well, I absolutely lost the plot and It was totally Irrational given that I had coped so well all year. I couldn't eat, sleep or work and ended up In the Doctors who understood perfectly explaining I had just lost the very last thing my Mother had loved, then It all made sense.

That's why no-one should ever say ' It's just a dog or just a cat'.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:41 pm

So do some don't.

When we lost our MAX (bouvier cross) over 12 years ago, my mum received 3 days compassionate leave. (she worked in a shop at the time)

When Oscar our border collie died last november, i received 1 day compassionate leave (although he was my mums dog, i grew up with him) and my mum just carried on at work ( home help). The lady said she should be glad her dog died because that ment she could focus on her work and stop coming in with a "not so happy" mood.

I still have a good cry sometimes when i am on my own and see their pictures on my wall, about both of my best friends.. Even after 12 years.

I don't see them as JUST a dog, or JUST a cat. They don;t care what i look like, or if i just lay on the sofa all day, if im upset or if im happy.. Soon as i open that door they greet me like ive been away for years! They do not demand, they do not judge. They are my best friends.

Just to add in there: I have walked away from people, never spoke to them again. I didn't cry much when my uncle died, yes it upset me but i hardly cried. But it truely broke my heart when our dogs died.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:20 pm

Chloe_88;1434089 wrote: So do some don't.

When we lost our MAX (bouvier cross) over 12 years ago, my mum received 3 days compassionate leave. (she worked in a shop at the time)

When Oscar our border collie died last november, i received 1 day compassionate leave (although he was my mums dog, i grew up with him) and my mum just carried on at work ( home help). The lady said she should be glad her dog died because that ment she could focus on her work and stop coming in with a "not so happy" mood.

I still have a good cry sometimes when i am on my own and see their pictures on my wall, about both of my best friends.. Even after 12 years.

I don't see them as JUST a dog, or JUST a cat. They don;t care what i look like, or if i just lay on the sofa all day, if im upset or if im happy.. Soon as i open that door they greet me like ive been away for years! They do not demand, they do not judge. They are my best friends.

Just to add in there: I have walked away from people, never spoke to them again. I didn't cry much when my uncle died, yes it upset me but i hardly cried. But it truely broke my heart when our dogs died.

Awww Chloe... don't cry when you see their pictures.

There are so many abused and abandoned cats and dogs you have to remind yourself that you gave them a wonderful life.

One of my many rescue's was a Tabby male called Tandy... I was his 7 th home !!! Attitude or what ??? The most disagreeable bugger I have ever had. Would not be fussed, petted, stroked, none of that, just ' what can I rip to shreds or kill '. He'd glare at you out of the corner of his eye as If to say ' Piss off'...Trips to the Vets meant heavy sedation also. One neighbour used to get her cats In when Tandy went out... human equivalent of Hell's Angel.

He came to us aged approx 7 years old and we lost him 11 years later but In that time, he took to my husband... never In your lap type took to him just a very brief sideways head butt now and then.

My husband was distraught when we lost him.... such a character.

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:38 pm

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:31 pm

oscar;1434091 wrote: Awww Chloe... don't cry when you see their pictures.

There are so many abused and abandoned cats and dogs you have to remind yourself that you gave them a wonderful life.

I know and i do laugh most of the time, thinking about what they got up to. like Max eating a pair of tights, wich my dad had to go "fetch" and him eating a bottle of turtle wax..

(he was lucky to survive after that btw..)

Things started to look up.. But then like today, I had a real shitty day, and then having a glance at their pictures brings a tear to my eye.

It breaks my heart every time..

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:01 pm

Chloe_88;1434099 wrote: I know and i do laugh most of the time, thinking about what they got up to. like Max eating a pair of tights, wich my dad had to go "fetch" and him eating a bottle of turtle wax..

(he was lucky to survive after that btw..)

Things started to look up.. But then like today, I had a real shitty day, and then having a glance at their pictures brings a tear to my eye.

It breaks my heart every time..

At the Barking Army, we all call It 'The Rainbow Bridge'...... Keep that Image of your cat and dog at The Rainbow Bridge having fun again..

Rainbow Bridge ðŸ¶ðŸŒˆ

Giese48 · Post by **Giese48** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:46 pm

When I was a young guy, I had a pet dog, but then it died, I cried for a long time.after that i decide to not keep any pets again.Do not pay, do not hurt.

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 8:05 pm

Giese48;1434113 wrote: When I was a young guy, I had a pet dog, but then it died, I cried for a long time.after that i decide to not keep any pets again.Do not pay, do not hurt.

I think I understand.:-3

Can't count the number of times walking out of the vet's office crying big time, even for a cat of all things!

Are you married? Would the possibility of your spouse dying prevent you from getting married and sharing your life with that one you love?

Lady J · Post by **Lady J** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:16 pm

I am glad your neighbor could come to you for condolence. That is very special.

When You lose a pet, You lose a whole big chunk of your life, for most of us.

I have been there a number of times and I can relate to Giese48 post. The pain of lost is more then can be bared...and never wants to be experienced again. Yet you have to weigh out the good times with the bad.

I had a hard time walking into a pet shop after I lost a dog who was with me for 21 years.

Oddly enuf I have never searched out my pets...they have always found me.

Lady J

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:59 am

Lady J;1434118 wrote: I am glad your neighbor could come to you for condolence. That is very special.

When You lose a pet, You lose a whole big chunk of your life, for most of us.

I have been there a number of times and I can relate to Giese48 post. The pain of lost is more then can be bared...and never wants to be experienced again. Yet you have to weigh out the good times with the bad.

I had a hard time walking into a pet shop after I lost a dog who was with me for 21 years.

Oddly enuf I have never searched out my pets...they have always found me.

Lady J Mine also with one exception.... Boy Dog

Having had rescue all my life, It was the first time I decided I wanted puppies. I acquired Agent Dana Scully at 8 weeks and I wanted my Agent Fox Mulder.

To cut a very long story short, my choice was a pedigree Parson Terrier. Back In 1998 they were very scarce as The Kennel Club had not long recognised them as a seperate Pedigree breed to the Jack Russell Terrier.

I scoured the length and the bredth of the country for over a year and finally I found a show kennels In Leciester who bred them for show and joy, they had two left aged 8 weeks.

As there wern't many around, my boy's Sire walked off with Cruft's best of breed 1998 and again In 1999. His Dam took runner up both years.

When we took possession of him, his breeder registered him with the kennel club as a new linage under ' Agent Fox Mulder'.

We put him to stud a few times but never showed him.

He's 15 now, deaf as a post and the epitome of a grumpy, cantankerous old man.... but he's my boy.... my Mulder

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:03 pm

oscar;1434107 wrote: At the Barking Army, we all call It 'The Rainbow Bridge'...... Keep that Image of your cat and dog at The Rainbow Bridge having fun again..

Rainbow Bridge í*½í°¶í*¼í¼ˆ

Oscar - YouTube

I know.... Here's a vid my mum made after Oscar died. We got him in 2001 totaly emaciated, once broken ribs and shot trough the ear with a pistol.

Later he got 2 brothers, benny (beagle) and remy (jack cross ?)

At the end when his back end gave out, we tought (+vet thought) it was his hips and bought him a bouble bath for a sort of hydro therapy.. Turned out to be his heart.

End of october 2012 he looked at my mum, as to say he had enough.

12 years of love isn't forgotten in a couple of months.. not even years. but we did have some good times sharing water based ice pops!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:21 pm

Chloe_88;1434253 wrote: Oscar - YouTube

I know.... Here's a vid my mum made after Oscar died. We got him in 2001 totaly emaciated, once broken ribs and shot trough the ear with a pistol.

Later he got 2 brothers, benny (beagle) and remy (jack cross ?)

At the end when his back end gave out, we tought (+vet thought) it was his hips and bought him a bouble bath for a sort of hydro therapy.. Turned out to be his heart.

End of october 2012 he looked at my mum, as to say he had enough.

12 years of love isn't forgotten in a couple of months.. not even years. but we did have some good times sharing water based ice pops!

That Is a lovely beautiful video.

I can't advise anyone how to grieve the loss of a dog because each relationship Is so different and so special. Different dogs and cats bring different qualities to different people for different reasons.

It Is one of the toughest things ever but for me, I tend to be rather pragmatic each time. Even If they had the most appalling cruel starts to life, I know that when I took them, I gave them the best life and I know that when they eventually pass, there was nothing more I could have done for them. The very final thing you can do Is when they tell you they have had enough as our Scully did at 15 recently, Is to let them go.

When that moment comes, that point where you know they have had enough, that's the most special part because only a true animal lover connected to the soul of their dog or cat can feel that which so many others can not recognise. That's a gift and you have that gift Chloe.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:24 pm

oscar;1434258 wrote: That Is a lovely beautiful video.

I can't advise anyone how to grieve the loss of a dog because each relationship Is so different and so special. Different dogs and cats bring different qualities to different people for different reasons.

It Is one of the toughest things ever but for me, I tend to be rather pragmatic each time. Even If they had the most appalling cruel starts to life, I know that when I took them, I gave them the best life and I know that when they eventually pass, there was nothing more I could have done for them. The very final thing you can do Is when they tell you they have had enough as our Scully did at 15 recently, Is to let them go.

When that moment comes, that point where you know they have had enough, that's the most special part because only a true animal lover connected to the soul of their dog or cat can feel that which so many others can not recognise. That's a gift and you have that gift Chloe.

Thank you.

Oh no, the waterworks just came on ...

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:29 pm

a good sob helps once in a while.. but mostly remember the good times

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:30 pm

Chloe_88;1434261 wrote: Thank you.

Oh no, the waterworks just came on ...

Sorry.

I know I will have this with Mulder In the next couple of years. He Is high maintainance. We don't pander to him but he Is difficult so we appease him for a quiet life.

But when he's had enough, he'll tell me.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:37 pm

oscar;1434265 wrote:

But when he's had enough, he'll tell me.

That is so true. He will. But lets not think of that yet.. I hope ( i know) there will be loads of happy times for Mulder to come!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:44 pm

Chloe_88;1434267 wrote: That is so true. He will. But lets not think of that yet.. I hope ( i know) there will be loads of happy times for Mulder to come!

You see right here, right now. I have a husband sprawled on one sofa but I can't sit on the other because Mulder has commandeered It. I've tried perching on the edge only to be glared at. I shall wait now until he moves of his own will... life Is easier that way, :wah:

Then, I wouldn't have him any other way, the grumpy old git.

When we have cats or dogs that long, they are sharing huge chunks of our lives and no, those years can not be forgotten.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:51 pm

I was bursting for a wee the other day, but i could not move because Sybil was laying on me.. well I could have moved but i did not want to disturb her ! :wah:

Red furry bit is stewie's bum, he sat on my feet :wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:53 pm

Chloe_88;1434272 wrote:

I was bursting for a wee the other day, but i could not move because Sybil was laying on me.. well I could have moved but i did not want to disturb her ! :wah:

Red furry bit is stewie's bum, he sat on my feet :wah: Great pic...

My husband does that... tells me he can't move because the cat's asleep on him.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:57 pm

oscar;1434273 wrote: Great pic...

My husband does that... tells me he can't move because the cat's asleep on him.

I think when men say that, it's because they want you to bring them their tea/coffee/beer and/or food.. ? :wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:22 pm

Chloe_88;1434274 wrote: I think when men say that, it's because they want you to bring them their tea/coffee/beer and/or food.. ? :wah: Of course, It's the perfect excuse but It's done and said In a way that Is designed to make me feel guilty such as ' awww Oscar's only just got comfortable'...

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:25 pm

oscar;1434278 wrote: Of course, It's the perfect excuse but It's done and said In a way that Is designed to make me feel guilty such as ' awww Oscar's only just got comfortable'...

Ahh yes.. why does it not work "the other way around?!"