My Best Friend is Hurting me Inadvertently. Help?

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Thu May 02, 2013 1:28 pm

T and I have been best friends since we were 5. Obviously, we've got other friends too, but we've kept an unbreakable best friend status for 10 years and I value him loads and care about him as if he were my brother. T has a twin brother called G. We're also friends, though the two have never gotten along.

Most of my views we've unwaveringly shared, on things such as suicide and self harm etc and that it's not good, ESPECIALLY if it's attention seeking. Lately, he's been acting really attention seeking and annoying, saying things like he has coeliac's disease, even though he's not intolerant to gluten (when confronted, he said 'it varies' and looked taken aback). He's always been really skinny, but lately he's not been eating meals, though he has no problem eating sweets and cake, and he's not 'watching his weight' yet he keeps throwing out these 'anorexia' quips and saying he's 'practically anorexic' disregarding the fact that anorexia is a condition of the mind, and not the body. He says these things at weirdly inappropriate times, like in normal conversations that have nothing to do with his health. It often sounds like he's trying to get us to talk about it or pity him.

We live in a small town and have mostly shared the same friends that we've gone through school with and tend to know everyone's going's on (not in an overbearing way)

We have a friend who's a self confessed 'Emo' called L (ha! Death Note!) who's a bit touchy and can do stupid things like self harm for attention and tell people to 'go kill themselves' and such, but we both agree that this behaviour is silly.

Though T has found a new small friendship group who I don't know well, and despite me calling him and telling him that I feel as if we're growing apart and can he please make some effort because I'm sick of being the one fixing things and not getting anything out of it and him agreeing, and also saying that his main new friend F is not replacing me, they very often meet up to together and sleep over at eachother's houses, even though F's a girl and I'm never invited (and often declined for some excuse if I ask) (T is gay, don't think anything happened). F claims to be 'clinically depressed' and goes about in this general manner (and I'm not having a go at people who have actual depression, I've had it before too, I know what it's like. And I never went around telling everyone I had it either)

I can deal with this, because I appreciate that he may just want space, but what I don't get is a few days ago, he claimed that his friend 'Allistor' who no one (not even his family) has ever heard him talk about, seen him or even heard his NAME and who apparently lives in a different town (T rarely leaves the house) has committed suicide. He also apparently texted 3 other friends (F and L being 2) telling them about this, but not me, I learned it off his brother G when I asked what was going on. He acted for one day like it was devastating him (though I didn't know what it was at the time he was sulking about) and then proceeded to take a day off school, (G said he never left his room) but came in the next day acting like nothing happened.

I've heard that he's been saying I'm clingy and desperate and also that he's told people he wants to commit suicide, but it all sounds very shallow and false. He has a fine (not perfect, but fine) home life, lots of friends who appreciate him, but he casts away as if we mean nothing and his mother, who is trying her hardest to see what is wrong, but he pushes her away.

I really don't know what to do. Should I just pretend nothing's happening? Should I ask him to explain what's going on (he's VERY touchy about being confronted and often makes me out to be the enemy whenever I've had to do this in the past) or just boycott him for a bit and hang out with others and see if he comes back? I don't want to sound desperate, but (I've told him this) I love him a lot, and I hate the feeling of not having that feeling returned. I care for him, but I'm not prepared to act like his personal ego-booster. I'm really stuck, he means a lot, but I don't want him to think I'm being sappy, so I really don't know how to go about this, but I don't want anything bad to happen to him, though he told me (quite harshly) to 'stay out of his personal business.'

I know this was long winded. Thank you for reading this far, please give some some advice?

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Thu May 02, 2013 2:34 pm

And you're fifteen, right?

The site's been down this road several times before.

If you're trying to develop the plot of your first novel, that'd be interesting.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu May 02, 2013 2:43 pm

I like his name.

Post by **LarsMac** » Sat May 04, 2013 11:29 am

Dump the drama queens and get on with your life.

You'll be much happier.

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 12:56 pm

SnoozeAgain;1425898 wrote: I like his name.

The mystery Mr T! He's totally not a hulk or black - the furthest opposite

I thought better of putting up full names, cos, you know, Facebook stalkers

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 12:58 pm

That's what I'm doing at the moment. Thanks, because I totally can't be bothered with him and his behaviour, I've found.

It is easier.

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 12:59 pm

I... don't know how to take that! Besides, if I ever had to read a novel like that, I think I'd die of boredom at the amount of flat, false characters

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Sat May 04, 2013 1:28 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426078 wrote: I... don't know how to take that!
What? The "you're fifteen" bit? It's called arithmetic. You add "best friends since we were 5" to "we've kept an unbreakable best friend status for 10 years".

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 04, 2013 1:44 pm

You write exceptionally well for a 15 year old claud.... hmmmmm

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:31 pm

A in English! Ha ha! You took the time to read it so the least I can do is write it nicely! I'm sure I'm not the only person who gets annoyed by bad grammar!

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:33 pm

No, no! I realise you guys can count, that's why I didn't feel the need to state our age! The novel thing I don't know how to take.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:37 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426086 wrote: A in English! Ha ha! You took the time to read it so the least I can do is write it nicely! I'm sure I'm not the only person who gets annoyed by bad grammar!
You're posting from England?

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:38 pm

Um, yes.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:41 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426089 wrote: Um, yes.

Around the Nottingham area?

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:42 pm

Ah, no. Why, may I ask?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:49 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426092 wrote: Ah, no. Why, may I ask? tbh i was guessing. So what part are you from?

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:50 pm

That's not really relevant, is it?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 04, 2013 2:56 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426094 wrote: That's not really relevant, is it? Fair enough. I was just being nosy

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Sat May 04, 2013 4:14 pm

ClaudTheCat;1426076 wrote: The mystery Mr T! He's totally not a hulk or black - the furthest opposite

I thought better of putting up full names, cos, you know, Facebook stalkers

No, I meant your name.

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Sat May 04, 2013 4:46 pm

SnoozeAgain;1426098 wrote: No, I meant your name.

What? You know ClaudTheCat's name?

ClaudTheCat · Post by **ClaudTheCat** » Mon May 06, 2013 7:45 am

Oh, ta very much