Necessary Drugs For Women

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 2:57 pm

Necessary Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge

to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to

share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

pina · Post by **pina** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 3:11 pm

I would like some DAMNITOL. Eight hours of peace sounds bliss.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 3:13 pm

I'll take the St. Mommaswort, well I won't but I know someone who will!!:wah:

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 4:04 pm

Where was that Emptynestrogen when I needed it!!!

Valerie100 · Post by **Valerie100** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 5:05 pm

Whatever happened to Handsoffomyocyn, for when you need to combat an octopus invasion?

Or Caboosenotopia? For when he needs to stop grabbing your...

Or Onehandedbraunsnapperizine? To confuse the guy who has mastered this skill.

Or Brabareitol? For those second-base moments.

Or Pantsadropacyde? For those third-base moments.

Or Foreplayoniacin? For when things are heating up.

Or Arollabedumen? This one says it all.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:14 pm

That was funny Tombstone... Thanks for the laugh and as usual - I hope you don't mind if I send it to my girlfriends.