Hello!

tabby · Post by **tabby** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:11 am

Sending out a tentative hello in the hopes that I’m remembered ... it’s only been 5 months since I disappeared online but it feels much longer than that! My mother’s health issues have dominated my world since May and although things are beginning to settle down now, I’m scratching my head and trying to pick up where I abruptly left off ... where did summer go? I don’t even know where to begin to explain what happened with her and it’s hard to condense several months of anxiety into a few sentences but I’ll try!

My mother had been in a steady decline both physically & mentally all Spring but it wasn’t really all that unexpected ... I mean she’s 80 years old ... it should be expected, right? She lives 90 miles away and I would visit her several times during a typical week to help her run errands, take her to lunch, etc. and it was becoming increasingly apparent that she wasn’t taking care of herself during the times I wasn’t there. She was constantly on my mind even at home and I felt like I needed to do something but was unsure how to do it. How do you tell a formerly independent person that they need assistance? After yet another sleepless night of worry, I got up one morning and decided to do something about it as assertively and yet diplomatically as possible. I drove to her house and told her enough was enough, you’re coming home with me. Was that subtle enough? I had hopes of feeding her well and providing some TLC. After 4 days during which she slept a great deal, she woke up and didn’t even know her name. We took her to the emergency room and they admitted her for severe dehydration. She was kept in the hospital for a week with an IV of fluids and immediately started to gain in strength and also to get her mental faculties back (such as they are).

To make this very long story short, they also found a small cancerous growth in her right breast and 2 blood clots in her lungs. According to the oncologist, this cancer is of a different nature than the breast cancer we usually associate with younger women. It develops only in elderly women (in their late 70s and early 80s) and is very slow growing. It’s also treatable without chemotherapy or radiation. So he has her on a pill once a day that has no side effects. He’s also treating her blood clots with daily medication.

Now ... in 2 short paragraphs I’ve consolidated a few months of drama, fear and anxiety into some neat and tidy sentences. There is sooooo much that I’ve left out but you can use your imagination and fill in the blanks with your own experiences of what happens when a loved one has health problems. “Normal life comes to a standstill in so many respects. It’s been difficult for all of us but things are starting to settle down now and the world has a rosy glow again. Aside from the hospital stay, she has been living with us and will continue to do so. In spite of the above mentioned health conditions, she is thriving. She has gained her lost weight back and is improving in every way. She is very happy to be with us. She’s like a different person altogether and it’s amazing how much of herself she has recovered so quickly. In retrospect, I wish I had “taken over sooner than I did but at least all is well now.

So here I am ... feeling awkward and uncertain what to say as if I just joined yesterday and am back to newbie status. I’ll probably just hurl myself back in and try to stay afloat. Did I miss any major events here?

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:47 am

Well hey!

Welcome back!

Sometimes you just have to take charge. and it's good to hear she's responded well to it.:-6

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:55 am

Welcome back, Tabby, you've been missed. It was thought by a couple of members that me and Spot chased you away. I'm glad you're here.

I had a similar situation 12 years ago with my late mother from NY (we're in PA); she was in her 90s at the time. We had contentious family issues too though due to the fact that I'm the youngest of seven. Only two of us out of seven refused to put my mother in a home and insisted she live with a family member. I was the only logical choice but four of my elder siblings (one fence sitter) thought I was usurping their authority. They're conservative New York Long Islanders and believe me it don't get much worse than that.

As it were, my mother lived here with my family for 21 months and we had a great time. My children are eternally grateful for the opportunity to get to know their grandmother so intimately. We enjoy many fond memories of her living with us.

Good for you, taking charge and loving your mom as you obviously do.

Newbie!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:32 am

Welcome back. I'm glad you seem to be getting closer to normal. These life changes keep happening while we're making other plans. I think that might be a Beatles paraphrase.LOL

FG-administator · Post by **FG-administator** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:59 am

Jump back on the site as much as you like tabby, it sounds from your post that it was well worth skipping bail to achieve all that.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:12 pm

Hey Tabby, glad to see you're back!

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:49 pm

Nice to see you back! Disappearing for a few months doesn't make you a newbie, quite the opposite. Glad you've got back to a rosy place again. All in all, you seem to have handled the situation beautifully.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:36 pm

Could anyone forget?

Welcome back - it's good to hear that your problems are behind you :-6

tabby · Post by **tabby** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:38 pm

Thank you thank you thank you for welcoming me back! My next act shall be to scan over the approximately several thousand posts made in my absence ... :yh_ooooo Where to start!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:43 pm

Welcome back Tabby, glad all is ok now.

Dive back in and then read back when it's quiet :-6

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:02 pm

Welcome back Tabby. It's great to see you!!

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:23 am

Hello, and welcome back. I have been gone from here for a couple of years, actually. Just came back a couple days ago.