Marrying For Money

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:17 pm

After a 69yr old Canadian senator's 23yr old wife was arrested for being a disturbance on a plane flight, it revived conversations at work about how many women marry for money.

I've long said "prostitution is already legal, they just call it marriage." That doesn't mean every marriage is about improving a woman's financial situation, but I'd wager most women consider finances when choosing a mate.

Women want the right to a fulfilling career but I'm going to be bold and say that, more than that, they want the financial freedom to make that career an option. They may well want to continue their career after marriage but they really want to know that they can quit any time they get tired of it.

It just takes a bit of honesty.

Do women really want to marry for money? - Telegraph

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:27 pm

I honestly don't know any women that married for money.

Well, there was one of my aunts who married into one of the big families. But she insisted it was for love.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:35 pm

I know quite a few.

I even know someone who had a kid so she wouldn't have to work.

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:21 pm

koan;1402416 wrote: I know quite a few.

I even know someone who had a kid so she wouldn't have to work.

My sister tried that.

It didn't turn out so well.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:25 pm

The Seven Most Famous Gold Diggers | Celebrity Net Worth

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:16 pm

The first thing that is attracting to a woman overall is heght, men who are short are at a severe dissadvantage when it comes to general attractiveness, the one equalizer is money. Though, taller men are also generally in better paid positions in society then short men also.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:42 pm

There's even a book that explains the common sense of marrying for money.

Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream--And How They're Paying For It: Amazon.ca: Elizabeth Ford, Daniela Drake: Books

I liked the feedback by "Shaun Snapp"

I am a man and can find no fault with the book.

I work in business with a lot of married men. I am frequently shocked by how sex crazed married men are. We are choosing women who are young and pretty, and when they age on us if we can, we trade them in on a younger model. So I saw nothing wrong with how the book was presented and men really have absolutely no leg to stand on when it comes to being shocked. I know a high number of successful but unattractive men who actually think that young woman they date are attracted to "them." Isn't amazing how men "fall in love" with women that have fit bodies? I have no idea why almost any man, no matter how physically repulsive thinks they deserve a super model. Secondly, most money "earned" by successful men is not much earned as stolen (yes I am talking to you super attorney and physician who is on big pharma's payroll and prescribes for cash.)

Go on girls, control us as you see fit and as Johnny Depp said in Pirates of the Caribbean "Take all you can, and give nothing back."

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:45 am

Happened to me:

When we left Uni, we seemed to be drifting apart a bit - as so often happens in Uni romances and though I loved her like crazy I offered to end the relationship if that was what she wanted. She seemed very keen not to end it and even moved from London to Leicester to live with me and what with that, the engagement and marriage two or three years later I thought she really meant it.

She didn't. She'd been using me throughout. It's hard to write this even now so many years later, but she cheated on me throughout in pretty much every way. When she started living with me she was a book shop sales assistant earning a pittance and lived off my earnings as a teacher. A few years later she was a reaearcher for an art historian (and good at it) and her work took her away a lot for a few days at a time when she wasn't in the Public Record Office or one of the museums. Plenty of opportunity and she certainly took it.

She's actually known she was strongly attracted to women since she was 17 at least, but she always firmly denied it. She tried out a wide variety of men to check she really was gay, even leading me to believe I'd got her pregnant when she didn't want to be and aborted, making clear it was may fault. I really wanted that child...you can imagine the head****.

There's a whole lot more to it than that, of course, but frankly I don't want to write about it any more. I've found out a great deal of what really happened in the subsequent years and know that the picture I present is completely correct in outline, and even a lot of the detail.

I was innocent, I was young, I believed.

She is now living with her "wife" and has a son by sperm donor.

I have forgiven her for the sake of my own sanity.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:58 am

Thanks so much for sharing that story.

I doubt the women who act this way are as keen to share with honesty. It sickens me that so many men are used like that and aren't permitted to speak about women without being shot down for bias or misunderstanding. There is no misunderstanding here.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:28 am

... keep wanting to add little bits. Not a good idea. Will go away for a while.

But if there are any lads out there reading this and wondering what the hell is happening in their relationship - and any of what I've said rings bells - just get out of there. Now.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:24 am

Definitely a good idea to make sure that you're comfortable with what you post.

Just know that other women are rooting for the whole subject to be exposed as well. These self-loathing cretins are a scourge on society. I used to be a whole hearted feminist until I realized that being a man wasn't all milk and cookies.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:02 am

It's not about women using men or women marrying for money.... there are just as many men who marry women for money.... Buy any English Women's magazine and you'll read a new story every week about British women being duped on holiday by meditterainian men who dump them as soon as the money has run out.

It's not about women marrying men for money because It works both ways... It's about human beings as a species using the other.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:06 am

oscar;1402459 wrote: It's not about women using men or women marrying for money.... there are just as many men who marry women for money.... Buy any English Women's magazine and you'll read a new story every week about British women being duped on holiday by meditterainian men who dump them as soon as the money has run out.

It's not about women marrying men for money because It works both ways... It's about human beings as a species using the other. Or worse.... a visa/

Why does every middle-aged woman think HER holiday seducer is the real deal? | Mail Online

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:26 am

Come to think of it, the girl who was the love of my young life ditched me to marry a smart young Doctor of Psychology, newly graduated from a leading school, and who had just secured a nice position at a leading research institute. He has since become rather well known and well-to-do.

And I thought it was love.

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:30 am

Of course, my dad used to tell us it should be just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as a poor one.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:05 am

I stopped bringing my boyfriends around the house when I realized that my mother would not approve of the artists I was drawn to. She wanted a boy with an ambition for a business career or a doctorate. "Drawing" was a nice "hobby" but it wouldn't pay the bills.

The only boyfriend I've had that my mother approved of was a cocaine addict. I told her he was an addict and she rebutted with "but he treated you well." That's because she didn't know that I had to use my credit card to front him money for our vacations. He always paid me back but he was also always one pay-check behind his habit. But, to my mother, he was the only one who seemed to have real possibility. She did like my ex-husband, who was a chef, but when she found out I footed all the bills because he had depression problems, she hated him more than I did.

To be honest, in hindsight, some of my bad decisions with relationships were probably out of rebellion against my mother who over-rated earning potential and didn't seem to believe in romantic love. It's strange because she's a real wishy-washy romantic who thinks of my dad as a knight in shining armour... though she put him through the last years of university on her teacher's salary (back when they didn't get paid much)

Of course that was just until he got his degree, then he became the expected provider and they live quite well. So her bargain paid off? No. My dad is actually an awesome guy. My mother actually threatened to leave him one year when I was too little to remember because he gave her a cheque for Christmas. He worked really hard. In recounted tales, she stormed out of the house and down the street in whatever she was wearing when he gave her the cheque. Myself and two brothers were apparently crying and begging her to come back.

I do wonder what the scenario would have been had my father not become a workaholic and not been able to write a cheque. He didn't do it for himself. He worked at Firestone. A tire company.

My mother, after I left the province, used to call me up drunk quite often and tell me how stupid I am because I was so smart and had nothing to "show" for it. At one point I had a stalker who scared me enough I felt I had to give his name and contact info to someone who would know if I went missing. My mother queried "Did you sleep with him? I don't understand why your generation just sleeps with people all the time."

She didn't phrase her concern properly. She wondered why my generation of women was sleeping with people before they promised to provide for us.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 1:08 am

I had started to doubt what I observed from my fellow "feminists" shortly before I saw Raise The Red Lantern. After I saw that, there was no doubting that women in this world have a whole other game of dastardly behaviour that men can't breach and are not allowed to try to understand lest they be labelled harshly.

We are not the same as men. Never have been, never will. We adapted. I challenge women to prove that we are the superior species. We aren't inferior. But we aren't "helpless" like some would claim. So we get raped. So we suffer. Do you seriously think that men don't? Do you really think you'd swap places with them? Most women I know are far too concerned with their shoes. Sorry to tell y'all but I'd guess Ralph Lauren was gay.

eta: that's not a gay bash. I'm bisexual. I'm just saying... there's those that care about shoes and those that don't.

another eta: there's also those that care about handbags. They're a whole other problem. Peace out.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 1:43 am

It is very difficult to write about that sort of thing. I had a few things to do around town yesterday, and every time I snapped back to myself having walked past the destination for a few minutes, or gone off in a random direction without noticing.

But I think it's something worth doing: Unless people speak out on issues like this then they never get noticed or discussed. It's embarrassing for anyone to admit they were used like that. Humiliating even. But I am at least protected by the anonymity of a pseudonym, and while my judgement of wives might have turned out to be dreadful, my judgement of friends has proved excellent. But for them, etc, etc.

It seems to me that man woman relations are deep down reacting to the fact that having a baby takes nine months and women aren't great sprinters towards the end of that time. In the 90% of human history we know almost nothing of, someone had to provide food and scare off wild animals. The better he was at doing that, the greater the chance of survival of woman and child. One can easily see, therefore, why women might be attracted to big men with money nowadays (and also why men when badly stressed can head to violence). Men and women are not the same (equal but different) and it took the combination of them to give the best chance of their genes surviving to the next generation.

There are other strategies that almost certainly worked and have been passed down as well: The Charmer: wait til the big man's away, rush in, do the charm job, pass on your genes, leg it fast. But the dominant paradigm is the man woman partnership. Or: Civilisation exists because it takes kids so long to grow up!

Homosexuality is interesting, because it seems that while it is always there in a population to a small extent, the proportion of homosexuals in a population increases with population density, which would seem to suggest homosexuality is a response by humans to overcrowding. But where in precivilisation history were we overcrowded?

The answer it seems is in early human evolution, when climate change forced very small populations to rely on a few oases in Africa. We were overcrowded in the sense that there were more of us than the available resources could easily support. It's one of the points where Homo Sap nearly croaked as a species. The exact detail of how homosexuality developed we may never know, certainly not in my lifetime, but it does seem a plausible theory to me.

In conclusion, that women appreciate a wealthy man is not a shock, it's entirely reasonable. The point I get annoyed is when deceit is involved. The surprise to me is when women marry someone ugly and poor. It does happen - even a few of my friends are married!

As for me? meh.

My wife wasn't the disaster of my life, she was the last straw. I regard the fact that I'm still here and still able to laugh at myself and the world as a ****ing triumph.:-6

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 2:04 am

I think it breaks down to people assessing themselves as if they are commodities instead of people. There are "trade" factors. Beauty is one. Youth another. Wealth is a commodity. People break themselves down to what they think their trade value is then try to figure out how to trade up.

Victims happen in all areas. Men are usually taken in the financial arena because that is the role they are trained to fulfil. Women get taken by mutilating their bodies at their own or their financiers's expense. Or the Devil wears Prada and asks for your sympathy. This is not a new phenomenon that has raised the hackles of my concern. What hackles me is that women insist their life is the more downtrodden and difficult of the two sexes.

A friend of mine is struggling through a divorce from a man who previously stripped two, formerly unknown, women of all their possessions. He took out 2nd and 3rd mortgages in her name. I feel bad because I let him buy me a Martini at last year's Christmas party and since found out it was all her money that he used to buy things for people. Nevertheless, that story being told, I have far more experience in women spendthrifting their husband's hard work away.

There is a control mechanism wherein a woman spends their husband's money so fast they can't make enough. Those same women then complain that their husbands don't spend enough time with them. Some men do it but, if the stats get counted accurately they'd put a sock in the mouth of women who think we got it bad.

Some people are damaged and don't understand. Some people are grifters and will take men and women alike. Men who cheat women have no supporters, women who take men for a ride get a green card. Women usually know what they are doing. I'd wager 9 times out of 10.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:13 am

koan;1402576 wrote: I think it breaks down to people assessing themselves as if they are commodities instead of people. There are "trade" factors. Beauty is one. Youth another. Wealth is a commodity. People break themselves down to what they think their trade value is then try to figure out how to trade up.

Victims happen in all areas. Men are usually taken in the financial arena because that is the role they are trained to fulfil. Women get taken by mutilating their bodies at their own or their financiers's expense. Or the Devil wears Prada and asks for your sympathy. This is not a new phenomenon that has raised the hackles of my concern. What hackles me is that women insist their life is the more downtrodden and difficult of the two sexes.

A friend of mine is struggling through a divorce from a man who previously stripped two, formerly unknown, women of all their possessions. He took out 2nd and 3rd mortgages in her name. I feel bad because I let him buy me a Martini at last year's Christmas party and since found out it was all her money that he used to buy things for people. Nevertheless, that story being told, I have far more experience in women spendthrifting their husband's hard work away.

There is a control mechanism wherein a woman spends their husband's money so fast they can't make enough. Those same women then complain that their husbands don't spend enough time with them. Some men do it but, if the stats get counted accurately they'd put a sock in the mouth of women who think we got it bad.

Some people are damaged and don't understand. Some people are grifters and will take men and women alike. Men who cheat women have no supporters, women who take men for a ride get a green card. Women usually know what they are doing. I'd wager 9 times out of 10.

Perhaps not 9 out of 10. Some are too dumb and act from instinct, others are reflecting their own damage, and yet more have periods you wouldn't wish on a dictator... But I'd certainly say that most do. I am fairly certain, for example, that my ex tried quite deliberately to make me hit her (I didn't:)) because that would validate her behaviour. As it was she had to fall back on radical feminism. I would however like to note that some don't, though I have yet to meet a woman who didn't have a positively unhealthy obsession with soft furnishings.

(nb Solidarity, brothers. In case you haven't heard of it, a very useful phrase if you find yourself trapped in almost any area of interior decoration: "I'm unconvinced about stripes.")

Chuckle. The UK has appointed women to head the secret services (I don't know who's in charge at present). In principle I thought it an excellent idea as soon as I heard of it. On the other hand, I think there's some truth to the allegation that if it had been down to women we'd never have left the caves. And I've seen a few damn good husband and wife teams.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:39 am

Oh, and you might want to dig up a modern biography of Elizabeth 1st. An absolute monarch, one of our most successful rulers and by god did she rule as a woman!

Just amazing.