No gentlemen

pina · Post by **pina** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:30 pm

Yesterday as I got off the train there was a young girl of about 28 with a very large pushchair/wheelchair with a handicapped boy of about six in it, she struggled to get off the train then through the gates and came to a steep flight of stairs to get out of the station. Not one personoffered to help as she tried to carry the whole thing up by herself, I was so disgusted with everyone pushing passed her that I knocked this teenager out of the way and I helped carry the chair (and it was really heavy) at the top she smiled sweetly and thanked me, the smile was enough thanks.

Then today I went shopping and carrying 7 heavy bags with bottles, potatoes and lots of other heavy stuff I struggled all the way home got to the lift where this middle aged couple were waiting also, I put the bags down. When the lift arrived I bent down to pick up the bags and the couple got into the lift, let the door shut and they went without me. I just hope they heard what I shouted after them. :-5

robinseggs · Post by **robinseggs** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:35 pm

That is terrible......made me mad to read!! I was waiting for parking spot yesterday and suddenly this girl zipped out and zoomed right into the spot before I coud pull in.......I could not believe the nerve...and there was another car pulling out across the way so I took that one instead. This now meant that this girl and i would probably be walking into the store at same time. But she knew better. She quick got on her cell phone and watched me go into store. I gave her a few choice stares......................ugh!

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:40 pm

What goes round, comes round......they'll get theirs

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:19 pm

Pina, you are sweet to help the lady out with the wheelchair. It is so difficult to get around with a handicapped loved one in those heavy contraptions, and I'm thankful every time someone helps me open the door as I struggle to wheel my husband in and out of places. You will be blessed for your kindness.

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:24 pm

the world has lost a certain amount of its 'etiquette' its everyone for themselves

ive come up with a test to work out whether a guy is a gentleman and if they are someone i wanna be friends with....

at work (im in a largely male dominated environment) if i walk to a door at the same time as someone else i hold the door open, if they come through first its a big black mark for them but if they say to me to go through and take the door then they dont get struck of the list straight away, then ill talk to them and decide if they really are nice or if they just hold doors!!

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:46 pm

Now see, I think a bit differently. I think the first person in line should open the door. I hate to play the "you first," "no, you first" game. And I ALWAYS hold the door for a stroller or wheelchair. How hard is that, to take three seconds? Geez. And "holding the door" can also mean passing through it, but holding it open with your arm till the other person can reach it. If a guy holds a door and lets me pass through first, that's very nice, but I'm just as happy as long as he doesn't let it slam in my face. I'm a big girl, I can take the door from him.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:40 pm

I was raised around all females and had it drummed into me to pull out the chair to seat a female, open doors. put the toilet seat down etc., etc. Today at 71 I could not stop doing these things if I tried.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:50 pm

PINA, You did a good thing.. Manner have been forgetten in our society. Everyone just ignores each other. I get angry when I see the elderly being ignored in stores. No one opens the door for anyone anymore, or hold the elevator either.

It called respect for other human beings.. We need to get back to the basics period. :-5 :-5

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:01 pm

It all started when women insisted they were able to open their own &%$# door. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been chastised thoroughly for holding a door open for a Ã¢â‚¬Å“liberatedÃ¢â‚¬ woman. When enough men had that happen to them they started backing away from the mainstay of civility in our society. That mainstay was the respect shown to women by men. It set the example for much of the courtesy we used to show each other.

I still open doors for women when I see the opportunity but a lot of men just quit and they didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t teach their sons how to be courteous.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:11 pm

i just open doors for anybody. and i taught my three sons to be courteous too. it's just another old-fashioned value. symbolic of good manners, not of weakness.

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:16 pm

lady cop wrote: i just open doors for anybody. and i taught my three sons to be courteous too. it's just another old-fashioned value. symbolic of courtesy, not of weakness.

I open them for anybody too. I said women because I was talking about the change in attitudes toward women and the damage it has done. My wife and I taught our son and daughter to open doors for people just as you did. They are both couteous people.

Bothwell · Post by **Bothwell** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:29 am

My father drummed into both me and my brother the value of manners and would have gone nuts if he saw this, I think Clint does make a valid point in that some of the more strident feminists around have demeaned this behaviour by saying it shows that men think women cannot open doors by them selves, patent bloody nonsense it's just manners, and I have to say I have never ever had a woman chastise me for good manners. It's more a reflection on our Me, me, me society I think.

I will continue to hold open doors, give up train seats etc until oredred by the Quenn to stop doing so:D

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:18 am

It seems in today's society many "people" are rude to "people", it doesn't matter to what gender! Clint touched on the "feminists" ruining it for men's chivalry, in part that did have some effect on men's behaviour. However, it seems as though that presence has relaxed somewhat, and now it's just "people" being uncaring!

I myself have good manners, and I'm not affraid to show them, and I will continue to apply them, even when/if many others don't!!! :guitarist

Bridget · Post by **Bridget** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:17 am

I hold the door open for everyone behind me if its a big burly guy so what, if its a tiny little old lady so what. Everyone deserves to be treated politely unless they are mean on purpose like rush into a open parking spot you were about to drive into. That one was in a nother thread. Don't forget the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes: with Kathy Bates. She did a number on a young girl who pulled into her parking spot. :driving:

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:21 am

pina wrote: Yesterday as I got off the train there was a young girl of about 28 with a very large pushchair/wheelchair with a handicapped boy of about six in it, she struggled to get off the train then through the gates and came to a steep flight of stairs to get out of the station. Not one personoffered to help as she tried to carry the whole thing up by herself, I was so disgusted with everyone pushing passed her that I knocked this teenager out of the way and I helped carry the chair (and it was really heavy) at the top she smiled sweetly and thanked me, the smile was enough thanks.

Then today I went shopping and carrying 7 heavy bags with bottles, potatoes and lots of other heavy stuff I struggled all the way home got to the lift where this middle aged couple were waiting also, I put the bags down. When the lift arrived I bent down to pick up the bags and the couple got into the lift, let the door shut and they went without me. I just hope they heard what I shouted after them. :-5

Unbelievable

Good lord people can be stuck up snobby SOB's. Sheesh, I would be happy to call out to anyone and say "hey how hard is it to help someone here" hehehehehe

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:37 am

You are so cool Minks, I sometimes will not even look at the people standing there ignoring me pushing the wheelchair, struggling with the door to keep it open, and any baggage I am carrying. If they are rude enoug to ignore me, I do the same, and struggle to get where I and my husband are going.

pina · Post by **pina** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:51 am

I know there are plenty of people with manners and as many that have not, but giving someone a helping hand when you see them struggling is not manners it should be second nature, and just do it without having to think first.

My bf stands for ages holding doors open until he ends up the last one to go through... He walks on the outside of the pavement when we are together in case a passing car splashes through a puddle and he will get wet first... He opens the car door for me to get in or out in case I scratch the car...He holds my hand when crossing roads in case I dawdle and get run over...He pulls the chair out for me to sit when at a resaurant in case I fall off and embarrass myself.......... Hows that for manners. :wah:

Honneykit · Post by **Honneykit** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:45 am

A freind told me once that you should never do anything for anybody and expect something in return.

He was so right I open doors for people, carry shopping I have even been known to give a young mum some change for the parking machine as she did not have the right change, but I dont expect it to be done for me then on that day when it does it means so much more.

Bridget · Post by **Bridget** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:21 pm

Minks, I must be cut from the same cloth as you. Last year I was in a large home improvement store with a flat cart loaded with eight foot vinyl posts to build an arbor. They kept falling off the cart and everyone standing in line just kept watching me collecting them and putting them back on that cart. Pretty soon I noticed a couple young men standing to the side who worked for this store also watching me. I turned to them and very loudly asked them if there was some reason they could not help me with my posts. They both came over and tied the post securely together with a very pained look on their faces. Why are people like that, especially when they are being paid to help customers. I am afraid I am not a shy person and also a very outspoken one but I also go out of my way to help people if they are struggling with something. I get great satisfaction in helping someone if they appreciate it or not, usually they express appreciation. Four little words--may I help you-- might just help someone have a better day.