Some Fall Puns

[Tombstone]

Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains.

If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he should have pulled himself together!

He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the mans name is Rod.

Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some sort of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?

Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did it.

Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your inhaler either.

Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.

No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him that I wasn't pulled that way.

You prefer feathers?