Who wears the pants?
Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on."
She did and said, "These are too big I can't wear them."
I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his
honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here try these
on."
She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me."
Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here.
You try on mine."
He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart a$@ attitude,
you never will."
Who wears the pants?
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chrisb84uk
- Posts: 11634
- Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:29 am
Who wears the pants?
:wah: Nice 1 Val!!!
Who wears the pants?
Don't they call that coercive power?:wah:
Here's the counter to that. I just got it from a cousin this morning. I know it's not politically correct and I may be banned for posting it but it's way to funny to not share.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must
admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear the rules
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the
male side. These are our rules! Live with them!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but
did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Here's the counter to that. I just got it from a cousin this morning. I know it's not politically correct and I may be banned for posting it but it's way to funny to not share.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must
admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear the rules
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the
male side. These are our rules! Live with them!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but
did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
Who wears the pants?
Clint, what would make you think you'd get banned for posting that? I LOVE that list, I've seen it before. Cracks me up every time I read it, mainly because it's so darn accurate, and a great insight into how men's brains work. I totally agree with 99% of it.
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
Who wears the pants?
BabyRider wrote: Clint, what would make you think you'd get banned for posting that? I LOVE that list, I've seen it before. Cracks me up every time I read it, mainly because it's so darn accurate, and a great insight into how men's brains work. I totally agree with 99% of it.
I was joking about being banned. It's the kind of thing this bunch understands and laughs at. I don't see what's so funny though.:wah:
I was joking about being banned. It's the kind of thing this bunch understands and laughs at. I don't see what's so funny though.:wah:
Schooling results in matriculation. Education is a process that changes the learner.
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daffodil52
- Posts: 183
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:45 am
Who wears the pants?
Lol WERES me,,,,,, kecs,,,, not much good at spelling it.
BUT that watt we scouser call trousers mmmmmlol daffy52
BUT that watt we scouser call trousers mmmmmlol daffy52
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capt_buzzard
- Posts: 5557
- Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2004 12:00 pm
Who wears the pants?
I Cannot stand women in pants or jeans. Give me a bit of skirt anyday
Who wears the pants?
ArnoldLayne wrote: BR, whats the 1% you dont agree with .Let me guess. Cant imagine any woman ever admiting shes got enough shoes....oops...very sexist :rolleyes:
Nope, I own a pair of motorcycle boots, 1 pair of heels, a pair of sandals and a pair of tennis shoes. I'm considering tossing the sandals.
Here's the one I don't like much:
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.
If I'm going to talk to you, what I have is always more important that whatever it is you're watching on TV. :yh_bigsmi
Nope, I own a pair of motorcycle boots, 1 pair of heels, a pair of sandals and a pair of tennis shoes. I'm considering tossing the sandals.
Here's the one I don't like much:
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.
If I'm going to talk to you, what I have is always more important that whatever it is you're watching on TV. :yh_bigsmi
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
-
capt_buzzard
- Posts: 5557
- Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2004 12:00 pm
Who wears the pants?
Lady COP
Who wears the pants?
capt_buzzard wrote: I Cannot stand women in pants or jeans. Give me a bit of skirt anyday
Bit of skirt.....?.....
Bit of skirt.....?.....
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
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CountryDweller
- Posts: 1022
- Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:50 pm
Who wears the pants?
:wah: Good one Valerie! LOL
Who wears the pants?
capt_buzzard wrote: Lady COPBothwell took the one-and-only picture in history of me in a girly dress, just two weeks ago. then it didn't come out for some reason! hahahahahahahaha that was it, last chance to get the cop in a dress! LOL :wah: ...i didn't recognize myself!