There's a man

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 9:45 pm

who walks to where I work about twice a week. He has severe Parkinson's and by the time he arrives he can barely stand so I leave the desk, give him my arm and walk him to the chair that is about 25 feet away. He sits there for about 15 minutes then gets his strength back.

I look forward to his visits. He tells me every time that he used to be "much better than this" and I tell him every time that he looks like he's doing a pretty good job to me.

I admire this man. I'll miss him when he can't come by anymore.

binbag · Post by **binbag** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:46 pm

Yeh, I know what you mean koan, we do admire people such as you describe. They can become a real example and inspiration to us all.

btw, he probably feels the same about you for offering a steading arm just when he needs it most. He won't forget you.

I think we all can learn a lesson from you.

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:52 pm

I actually learned the lesson when I was unable to walk and a 70 year old man gave me his assistance to get me to my car... after a bunch of younger folk noticed but chose to ignore.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:47 am

koan;1340926 wrote: I actually learned the lesson when I was unable to walk and a 70 year old man gave me his assistance to get me to my car... after a bunch of younger folk noticed but chose to ignore.

Having on the odd occasion offered to help a disabled person with their messages or other things and had my head bitten off, I can manage thanks, or even I don't need any help I would now hesitate about offering help unless I am really sure it is needed. Perhaps those younger folk were just respecting the possibility you might want to be independent and were giving you space.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:49 am

gmc;1340937 wrote: Having on the odd occasion offered to help a disabled person with their messages or other things and had my head bitten off, I can manage thanks, or even I don't need any help I would now hesitate about offering help unless I am really sure it is needed. Perhaps those younger folk were just respecting the possibility you might want to be independent and were giving you space.
that's possible

this isn't a lecture. I just saw my friend again today and wanted to write about him.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:45 pm

That's really sweet Koan I love it when we acknowledge special people in our lives when they are still with us (instead of just a memory after they have gone.)

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:10 pm

He sounds like a jewel to know.

sparkey · Post by **sparkey** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:36 am

gmc;1340937 wrote: Having on the odd occasion offered to help a disabled person with their messages or other things and had my head bitten off, I can manage thanks, or even I don't need any help I would now hesitate about offering help unless I am really sure it is needed. Perhaps those younger folk were just respecting the possibility you might want to be independent and were giving you space.

This is a great post koan and we can all learn from this.

GMC, I know a few disabled people and generally they are a really proud bunch. Also a lot of them tend to see themselves as society tends to see them as some how second class or inadequate and the response you get to the offer of help is probably more about how they feel about themselves and society in general than you. They may also just be having a bad day, like we all do. Don't stop offering to help, you may get 99 knockbacks but the 100th may accept and ifor that 100th you can make a real difference.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:40 am

I certainly have people tell me they don't want help but it doesn't bother me. I just let them know that I've needed it before so I always offer.

sparkey · Post by **sparkey** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:45 am

They always want to be asked first. Some people just jump right in there boots and all. Can you imagine what it would be like if somebody just grabbed your wheelchair because they thought they were helping?

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:41 am

sparkey;1341137 wrote: This is a great post koan and we can all learn from this.

GMC, I know a few disabled people and generally they are a really proud bunch. Also a lot of them tend to see themselves as society tends to see them as some how second class or inadequate and the response you get to the offer of help is probably more about how they feel about themselves and society in general than you. They may also just be having a bad day, like we all do. Don't stop offering to help, you may get 99 knockbacks but the 100th may accept and ifor that 100th you can make a real difference.

Used to be a thing called common courtesy because it was commonplace.

Scrat · Post by **Scrat** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:10 pm

You're a great individual Koan. The world would be less without you.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:10 am

Koan that day you wrote this an old man procured me and told me about how the authorities around him were picking on him ..I said I'd help out. I painted his small house for him and cut back his rambling garden ...you know what others said? "he won't appreciate it he's a drunk".........but tht's not the point .he has been so nice and accommadating to everyone and they take it as 'tht's just how it goes'.......not nice . I"ve noticed around this town that everyone has something to say about everybody else but .......in the end they miss the very persons they are picking on .

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:55 am

He won't appreciate it? :wah:

A lot of people I meet every day are quite elderly and they don't always remember that we've met before. I don't take it personally. :yh_rotfl

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Oct 28, 2010 8:20 am

gmc;1340937 wrote: Having on the odd occasion offered to help a disabled person with their messages or other things and had my head bitten off, I can manage thanks, or even I don't need any help I would now hesitate about offering help unless I am really sure it is needed. Perhaps those younger folk were just respecting the possibility you might want to be independent and were giving you space.

Please don't stop offering to help. Although they may fiercly independant and rude about your offer, it still means a lot to them. As someone who has more bad days than good any more, I know how much the offer means.

sparkey · Post by **sparkey** » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:18 pm

Peg;1341446 wrote: Please don't stop offering to help. Although they may fiercly independant and rude about your offer, it still means a lot to them. As someone who has more bad days than good any more, I know how much the offer means.

Thanks Peg, you said what I was trying to say but so much better. One of the fundamentals of happiness is giving to others and by just making the offer you are giving. If the other person lets you give more by accepting, so much the better.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:46 am

Help comes in many forms doesn't it. Sometimes you can't do too much either.... many years ago I came across a young man sitting up against a light standard on the street. He was sitting cross legged, wrists facing upwards resting on his knees. He looked awful, he had blood everywhere and just sat there in what looked like a drug induced daze. This was downtown Calgary on a lunch hour and many many people passed him.... including myself (this was pre cell phone too). I walked into my office and told my boss about this man and said I had to call 911 to go rescue him. The first words out of my bosses mouth was...."you didn't touch him did you" I said "no" but I have to call 911 so they can help him. I made the call and the first thing the 911 operator said to me was "you didn't touch him did you" Again I said no. The woman then said to me" it is very kind of you to call so so we can go help him out. Most people would have ignored him."

It wasn't exactly a warm fuzzy kind of help and maybe it wasn't appreciated as he may not have wanted the help but I did what I believed in.